Finding a balance with a nursing toddler

[dmpmercury]

My ds is 13 months. He has always been a very very frequent nurser. He was a 24/7 nurser as a newborn and never completely grew out of it. He still always nursed frequently he just took less time to do it. Lately though it getting worse and he is throwing fits about it. He asks to nurse constantly. He never even can go 2 hours and rarely even 1 hour between feeds if we are home unless he takes a long nap and then he will nurse a long time after his nap. If I try to distract him he is ok for a few minutes then whining and asking to nurse again.

I no longer am enjoying my nursing relationship. I'm getting tired of the constant nursing. I hate how in public he wants to nurse but then is popping off to look around for a while but doesn't want to get out of the nursing position and then latches on and then pops off over and over. I'm not comfortable with that but if I don't he will throw an absolute fit.

I eventually want to be able to get pregnant with a third child and I know my body will not concieve with the frequency he is nursing. I either won't ovulate or will have a non existant lp.

How do you find balance? I want to keep nursing him and not cut him back to much but I starting to hate breastfeeding and resent it and that is no good either. He also used to be night weaned which went pretty well but he ended up getting sick with a stomach virus and now that he is better he no longer is night weaned. I did not want to do that more than once but he was sleeping so much better and my cycles returned along with my sex drive so I don't want to nurse him all night but I don't want to night wean again.

[wbg]

My LO is a little older, but here is something that seemed to work for her. I started to tell her oh not now later. I know it sounds silly, but it actually started with something else. She kept finding big kid treats like a chocolate milk and asking for it. Sometimes I would let her have some. But then she got smart and kept bringing it to me, so I would say, not now, later and she would go put it back in the cupboard.

So I thought why not try it with nursing. So she would ask to nurse and I would say , softly, but firmly, no, not now, later and get up and move or change position or something. Then when she asked the next time I would let her nurse. It took her a couple of days and I made sure that there was always a "later". Now, almost always she will wait. I have stopped nursing her in public for the same reasons. She is so distracted and she hurts when she unlatches and is distracted. So if we are out, I will just say no, not now later and move on. She might whine a little but it does not last. Then if for example I am at the mall and I see I quiet, private-ish lounge area I will sit her down and offer her "later".

I am less tough when it is just me and her at home, but when I am out or we have company, I always ask her to wait till "later".

No advice about the nights...mine are driving me crazy at the moment!

And defs no advice about conceiving. MY #2 was conceived while EBFing a 3 and a half month old so I am a little reluctant to say it will never happen!

I hope that you find the best strategy for you and your LO. What an awesome mama you are feeding him so often all these months. You rock!

[sunfish21]

The only thing that I can think of is teething. My dd is now 21 months and for several weeks was nursing just before naps and bedtime, and first thing in the morning. She has had 7 teeth come in in the past month (!) and can nurse can over an hour at a time, several times a day! Many babies want to nurse a lot while teething, and teething can take a l-o-n-g time. Maybe it will get better on its own?

[alegna]

Both of mine have gone through nurse-all-the-time stages. I feel your frustration.

BUT, at only 13 months I would not be comfortable limiting nursing at all. Dd nursed at LEAST every 2 hours (more often every hour or more) during all waking hours until she was 2.

-Angela