bks re: homeschooling SN child (x-post)

[Momma Aimee]

Ok there is a ton going on, and I can't write it all out tonight, i need to think more to be able to sound 1/2 way NOT nuts ..

Theodore is only 4 -- we intend to homeschool ... for a ton of reasons, beyond his SN and including his SN

I am seeking suggestions on books to re: homeschoolsing a special need child.

I have read WTM and several other text on education and on homeschooling in general ...

I know a lot of people here HS SN kids and i wanted the best book rec i can get.

thanks

Aimee

[chfriend]

Aimee, it's likely both of mine would have diagnosis in school, but their challenges do not affect homeschooling because there is no "grade level" in homeschool. I think the joy of homeschooling is having the ability and freedom to find the exact right tool at the exact right time for your individual kids.

I follow what fascinates my kids and match up the tools to their interests and needs. It's really pretty easy once you get going on it.

[Momma Aimee]

thanks.

Right now we are set on HS, and the SN we are facing makes us more set to, but I do know that the challanges are going to .. well challange us.

[chfriend]

What specifically are you anticipating? There are resources aplenty depending on what you're looking forward to. I'm happy to make suggestions, but it'll be less scattershot if I know what challenge you're thinking about.

[Momma Aimee]

I don't even know at this point.

he is an emotional mess

he has an IEP for speech and the ST suggested more testing (again)

we think SPD with a good bit of anxiety .. maybe AHDH but that may jsut be the anxierty adn the SPD and his age ...

i can't even get a handle on it all right now

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by Momma Aimee

I don't even know at this point.

he is an emotional mess

he has an IEP for speech and the ST suggested more testing (again)

we think SPD with a good bit of anxiety .. maybe AHDH but that may jsut be the anxierty adn the SPD and his age ...

i can't even get a handle on it all right now

I can't recall - is he in some sort of school setting right now? I guess he must be if he has an IEP.... My own child had some sensory processing problems at that age, but they dissipated with some sensory integration and/or time - we'll never really know which. But he was in a Waldorf kindergarten as he was turning 5, so it didn't really matter except for the anxiety it set off in myself.

It's one thing for a young child to be in a situation that requires the sort of attention and focus that's more appropriate for an older child, and a whole other thing for a young child to be in a setting that's built around the specific realist needs for that age. My son's kindergarten morning started with a simple circle time, moved into individual fantasy play that involved building little forts, etc., listening to a fairy tale, playing outside, maybe doing a simple cooking activity, maybe coloring, but mostly playing and playing... Even then, his teacher noticed that he had trouble sitting still while listening to the fairy tales - he could listen if he moved, or he could sit still if not simultaneously trying to listen, but he'd actually be falling out of his chair if he tried to do both at the same time. And during art time, when little girls around him were eagerly drawing elaborate pictures of fairies and butterflies, he was organizing his crayons into a train... He was crawling under the table and crawling across it - not to be difficult at all, but just because that was what his body was driving him to do, and he was fortunate in having a teacher who was well versed in sensory integration issues, so she had no problem with it. But he went on, when the time came years later, to be a very eager and successful student in outside classes and in college, as well as being a highly motivated independent learner.

A 4 yr. old doesn't stay 4 for long, and each age will bring its own new gifts. Meanwhile, the less he has to cope with other than just emerging from the baby years, the more he'll be able to thrive as his own person in his own way and grow into a comfortable and capable learner. I remember vividly the knots I had in my stomach when my son's kindergarten teacher told me, meaning well, that he had "neurological" problems. It was devastating - and it was really a bad move on her part - and it caused a lot of unnecessary anxiety over nothing. He also had speech problems, and one specialist wanted to cut his "tongue tie" which it turned out he didn't even have! I wish you could meet him today as a brilliant, articulate, and competent young man - or even to have met him just a few years after all that - I think you'd find yourself laughing over how crazy things can seem when we haven't yet come to the point of being able to see with 20/20 hindsight.

I think that if you try to use TWTM with him, you're a lot more likely to run into problems and stress than if you think more in terms of the kind of philosophy promoted by Dr. Raymond and Dorothy Moore that someone was talking about here the other day (maybe in your other thread?) - (The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook). That's not to say I'm suggesting following anyone else's plan - you need to follow the unique one you develop one step at a time with your own child - but just that it would be a good balance to find out more about a different, and well researched, way of looking at all this. I honestly think it would be wise to leave thoughts about homeschooling to another time - it's very early for that, and especially in his case. The fact that he's a late bloomer isn't going to have any effect on his later learning.

I realize what you're talking about is some sort of developmental or emotional issues at this point - I'm just saying that it's quite premature to be worrying about how that will gel with homeschooling needs, but that if you do try to start doing more school like activities with him anytime soon, you may find yourself coming into unnecessary anxieties, as well as resistance from his side. As a matter of fact, I stopped just now and tried to imagine how my own child would have reacted to anything like that when he was so young, and I have no doubt but that it would have been awful for both of us.

Well, that turned into a bit of a ramble, but I just wish I could hug you in real life and reassure you it's unlikely that things are as bleak as you understandably think they might be right now. - Lillian

[Lillian J]

Whoops - you asked for a book recommendation. Here's a good list - you can click on titles and take a look inside them in the Amazon site: Books and Periodicals on a Variety of Special Challenges. But, again, I really think worrying about the homeschooling aspect right now could be self-defeating. - Lillian

[chfriend]

I've got one with the sensory stuff and the anxiety and one with the speech stuff and the anxiety.

Hands down, the best thing for me was "The Out of Sync Child Has Fun." So many great ideas.

Another thing to think about is "Slow and Steady Get Me Ready." Just ignore the ages and pick activities you think you'll both enjoy.

AnnetteMarie's Seasons of Joy has a ton of seasonal ideas which can help with the development of lots of basic skills.

The key as mine have developed has been to find good, meaningful *hands-on* ways of approaching things they are interested in.

The book: "Unicorns are Real: A Right Brained Approach to Learning" is helpful when they get more "school-aged." If you're looking ahead, that's one to think about.

http://www.amazon.com/Unicorns-Are-R.../dp/0915190354

It's really for older kids, but if the anxiety persists, this book is good. "What to do when you worry too much."

http://www.amazon.com/What-When-You-...8740017&sr=1-1

(That worry one was pretty good for my 9 year old, me, dp and the babysitter!)

[Momma Aimee]

thanks

no he is not in school

they wanted him in pre-school to be around "average peers" and we refused. he has speech at school 25 minuts 6x a month .. he could have up to 45 minutes but he can't handle that. he was going 4x adn we moved it up to 6x to get him more time since he can't sit longer at any session. we got to the point he is able to do 25 minutes.

we are however in contact with the shool soical worker (she al so the SW / case manager for early intervention and had Theo then, and has our younger son now).

they keep suggesxting school and i keep refuseing.

we can access the IEP services as a homeschooling family -- it jsut limiuts us ... as Cami the SW says a lot of the stuff in teh IEP would be accomidations in teh classroom and tools for the teachers -- well if he is not in the school then none of that applie.

I know i am silly to feel so lost -- but i can't shake the deep dark feeling right now.

thanks for the books suggestions -- books make me feel more capable -- that may be silly but they help me

[chfriend]

I read until my eyeballs fell out.

Homeschooling specific books aren't all that helpful when they are as young as yours are. (Mine are 9 and 5).

Books really do help, but hitching onto TWTM that young with so many other things going on is a sure fire way to drive yourself to a great unhappiness.

We made the decision to homeschool because of the asynchronosity of the older one. What a happy necessity, as it turns out.

Don't let the experts and professionals get you too freaked out. Look for gentle, natural ways to build the skills they need without frustrating yourselves.

Even if they were typically developing, school comes awfully soon for children so little. My kids have learned a ton from following butterflies around and planting a pitiful herb garden and making a water wheel for the creek.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by chfriend

Books really do help, but hitching onto TWTM that young with so many other things going on is a sure fire way to drive yourself to a great unhappiness.

That really strikes me as a profound statement. I wouldn't have said it quite so strongly, but I'm glad you did, because I feel in my bones that it's wise advice. - Lillian

[ikesmom]

Hearing you say your in the dark just brings up a heartache because I know just what you mean. I know it isn't a choice as much as a compulsion to be proactive. I had all the classic psychological episodes of denial, anger, fear, and grief.

Please just know that your mama love is just what he needs to grow.

Anything you choose to do with and for him is huge.. and so much more than any book or program. At his age he is learning to know his self and his surroundings. Sensory issues require so much focus alone. I second "The Out of Sync Child Has Fun".


I would say play together, sing songs to him, read to him, and make him feel good about himself the best you can. I am sure you are learning a lot with the therapy sessions.

Treat yourself extra well because you deserve some extra too.

[Momma Aimee]

ikesmom thanks so very very much.

I do not THINK theo's needs are going to limit him in teh area of acidemics -- i think it is going to be a questions of appraoch, and time. His isses seem to be SPD adn emotional ...

I am just "seeing" that he is maybe not going to out gorw as much as we thought, or at least not as soon as we had always thought -- so this is more something i am going to have to "deal with" than sut a "long phase"



I wish we had a better DX ... or a better idea what was uphead of us.

I have read TOFSC has fun -- and we've done some of the activities (we made playdough at a playdate in zip bags -- that was cool.

i need to actually buy it this time, not ILL it.

thanks

the support is great.

i am not pushing him -- i won't push him -- we have enough else to sort out, but i hust need something for me ... so i feel i have a grip or a plan or a _______

thanks

A