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omg toddler twins

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
I am worn down. This is so much harder than newborns (at least what I remember of it). DS hasn't been sleeping at night. Then I run around all day dealing w/ one disaster after the next. Oh you colored on daddy's new hat. Oh you broke the only glass picture frame I have out. Oh you pulled all your pants out of the drawer for the 3rd time today. Oh you just dumped a full bag of goldfish onto the floor I just vacuumed. Oh now you're smashing all 800 of those gold fish into tiny little crumbs. Top that off w/ the scream at mommy fests we've been having every day. It's like all is well in the world and then I walk into the room and they instantly start screaming. Yesterday I held both of them and just sobbed. My back is killing me from lifting two 30 pounders. I can't lift a child with my legs when one has a death grip hold of my leg. It's been raining and cold and we can't go outside. And the dishwasher broke. And I'm in the middle of stripping all the diapers. And dh has been working evenings so I've got pretty much every shift solo.
post #2 of 29
post #3 of 29
I don't have twins (well I did briefly in utero but only one embryo survived).

Call in the troops momma. Get some help. A neighbor girl. A sitter. PBS if you have to.

Don't try to power through this without some back up.

And stop picking up the pants. Who cares if they are on the floor? Put them back once at bed time.

Do you have dogs? Can you borrow one? They are ever so helpful at eating crackers on the floor. DD is right now this second, 'sharing' her crackers with our black lab.

post #4 of 29
Yes. Yes. And yes. I would tell you to try to go around and put every single thing out of their reach....but who has the time? For a long while I wished I lived in 1 big room with nothing in it other than a few matresses, blankets, toys, and a cooler full of delicious homecooked meals (cooked by someone other than me).

Time to surrender for the day, Mama. Let the Goldfish lie, get a bunch of books, lay down, and let them have at you. We used to refer to them as lions taking down the antelope (me).

Wait until they start talking (mine are age 3). Sometimes I feel like my head is literally going to split open from trying to process everything they are saying to me!

Mommy, mommy. Mama. Mama. Mommy, ma-ma-mommy. Mommy???
post #5 of 29
Originally Posted by Caroline529 View Post
Time to surrender for the day, Mama. Let the Goldfish lie, get a bunch of books, lay down, and let them have at you. We used to refer to them as lions taking down the antelope (me).
Wonderful advice. Is there a smilie for hitting the nail on the head?
post #6 of 29
Right there with you! Toddler twins is hard. Really hard. By the end of the day our house looks like a hurriance hit. Even the baby-proofed bedroom is a disaster and it only has one small bin of toys, a dresser full of clothes (I so hear you on the emptying the clothes onto the floor), and a bed on the floor. Not to mention all the food thrown onto the floor, the screaming diaper changes, the hair pulling (double fisted refusing to let go) and the biting.

Sorry, I have no advice. I spend lots of my day convincing my type A routine oriented, detail driven, organized personality to take a break and let it go.
post #7 of 29
Originally Posted by Caroline529 View Post

Wait until they start talking (mine are age 3). Sometimes I feel like my head is literally going to split open from trying to process everything they are

i have 4 talking already: can you imagine 6

big, big esaesa
post #8 of 29
Originally Posted by Caroline529 View Post
For a long while I wished I lived in 1 big room with nothing in it other than a few matresses, blankets, toys, and a cooler full of delicious homecooked meals (cooked by someone other than me).

Uhhhhhm. Yeah. Er, I actually created one of those. I have a room in my house with a wrap around couch, my (lockable) computer desk, baby safe entertainment center with tv and dvd player, and baby toys. That's it. We call it The Baby Room. I can safely pee without incident.

Only, two days ago Claire figured out how to climb over the gate. Damn her for being so tall!

Twin toddlers. Whew. I had NO idea. I mean, I thought I had something of an idea since all my older children are only 18 months apart and maybe that DID give me a leg up on people who spaced their kids further apart and THEN had twins but whoa. I've been BLOWN away by the calamity they can get into. I actually have "triplets" since Isabella is 17 months older than the twins. Only one of those "triplets" is an evil genius. And things the twins couldn't get into themselves? Oh, Izzy helps them right out! (no offense to trip moms, I know it's not the same thing--it's just INSANEEEE!)
post #9 of 29

I second the 'surrender' advice. My expectations for 'getting stuff done' is super low, b/c anytime I'm not engaging (or at the very least looking at) my twin toddlers, they seem to hurt one another. Granted, they don't get into as much as other kids their age that I've observed, and generally they follow direction well and will leave something alone if I ask and redirect. BUT laundry during the day? I can only run to the basement to do laundry if they are both in their highchairs, asleep, or if only one is awake & goes with me. Same goes for cooking, cleaning, doing bills, reading, anything that requires both hands and a bit of concentration - generally not do-able with toddler twins.
So yeah, my house is coated in dust and I have piles 'to be sorted' in the kitchen and dining room, and there are about 3 loads of clean laundry sitting in the master bedroom waiting to be put away, and I have tons of stuff I should sort through to donate & resell, and on and on and on.

The more I try to 'get done', the more restless my children become as they are asked to entertain themselves - so not fair for a toddler, the more irritated I become that not only is nothing 'getting done', but now the kids are biting one another, toys are scattered everywhere, etc. It's a vicious cycle. Be the antelope.
post #10 of 29
tee hee .... I have to laugh, because this is my house. Only, add the 3.5 year old, and the teenager in, too. Plus, I have to laugh, or I would cry.

My boys are CLIMBERS, so the kitchen chairs are all on their sides. My house looks like a cyclone hit .... every day.

I just try to get out of the house every day .... helps keep me sane.

I was lamenting about my boys not talking .... my dear friend, with twins who are 2, plus another boy Rachel's age said to me -- "Are you insane??" At least you can hear yourself think.
post #11 of 29
I'm 4.5 month pg with twins and this post has scared the shizzle out of me. I nanny a 19-month old who is entering her terrible 2s early and as I watched this child melt down bc she didn't want to wear a coat on a 40 degree day, I wondered what on earth am I going to do with two of these.

I know it's crazy but I'm glad to see that you can be honest and open and ask for help in a forum like this. It seems like a lot of the women I know IRL who have kids don't really talk about the days when they are overwhelmed by their kids; they just paste on a fake smile and say everything is great! I know you feel totally defeated but I think it's gotta be nice to know that you're not alone in the mania.

post #12 of 29
Thank you Thank you Thank you! I have really been feeling this way lately. IT seems that the boys find trouble within 30 seconds of entering a room. Last week the pushed a gallon of milk off the talbe while I was putting the groceries away. It busted all over the floor! Do you know how many towels it takes to clean up an entire gallon of milk? 5! Then I mopped over it 4 times to make sure I had all the stickiness off the floor. They have written on walls yesterday w/ a sharpie. They stole it off my desk while I was cleaning, and DH was in the room when they did it! TOday they grabbed a pencil an dhad it on the wall before I could reach them! (Well, at least it will clean off more than sharpie!) I cannot cook, clean, fold laundry or take a shower! Mine are also in the stripping phase, I have cleaned up poop off the floor every day, usually more than once a day all week! I'ms sick of it! I give up!
post #13 of 29
I have been thinking back my my twins' toddlerhood a bit lately. Ian will be 2 on New Year's Eve and he is a handfull, but so so so much easier than the girls were.

One thing that was so different with just the twins is that they were a team together and had much more influence on each other than I did. Now if it's time to go, when I say, "Let's get in the car!" the girls go and Ian follows because he wants to do what they do. It used to be 30 minutes of rigamarole to get to the car. Or getting dressed. They used to simply refuse. It's not such a big horrendous deal with Ian.

The house is still a hideous mess, clothes get tossed out, Legos dumped on the floor on top of the Cheerios that were dumped on the floor, but I feel a lot more in control of my life because the level of cooperation is so much higher.

It gets a lot easier when they get some degree of reasonability, which for us was the back half of the 2s,and when they start to truly enjoy pretend play together, which for us was about the same time.

But, yes, toddler twins are very very hard. The first six months of the 2s were probably the hardest time every for me.
post #14 of 29
Thread Starter 
Thank you thank you thank you for the kind support.

I got out of the house for a knitting class a few hours on Saturday, amazing how even a little break can help. I've been telling myself to surrender to the mess/chaos/laundry/whatever since they were newborns. Some days it is easier to do than others. My back still hurts but I suppose it will until I'm not picking them up anymore. AF came so that explains some of why I was taking their developmental normality aka screamfests so personally. Their dad has been home all weekend and the tantrums have lightened at least. We'll see how this week goes. (fingers crossed)

Anyway. . . toddler MoMs, we rock.
I'll give you one of these in case no one else did today.
post #15 of 29
I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling better! I tried to give you advice when I first read your post since my twins are about the same age, but I had nothing. It's just life with toddler twins, I have realized.
I recently got my first PPAF, which might be the same thing you are talking about with hormones.
I just let it go as much as I can and enjoy being "chosen" to have this insanity.
post #16 of 29
I hear ya!!!!! My twins are 15mo, and starting to drive me soooooooo crazy! They're not even walking yet, but boy can they get into everything. My ds has figured out how to climb the stairs, we had no idea until he was sitting next to me Saturday night while i was getting ready to go out with a friend.

My house is a disaster. There is stuff everywhere. My dd has figured out that if she pulls hard enough, she can get past the child safety locks on our cabinets. There are messes everywhere, and she does everything in her power to make her brother mad. She's constantly taking his food bowl and dumping it on the floor, or pulling hair, biting, whatever to make him cry, which makes her laugh. I sincerely hope things get easier soon. Otherwise I'm going to be a nutcase.
post #17 of 29
So with you. I thought the newborn/baby stage was easy, this is not!! It seems every time I turn around we are into something else, no matter how much I have tried to twinproof everything. My twins are also very attached to me, so they always need to know where I am at and want to be by my side at all times and when I do leave them, they stand at the window and cry. I hate that. My husband is working out of town and is only home on the weekends, so I think that has made the attachment stuff worse for me. I am sure you are dealing with the same stuff with dh working extra. I try to get out whenever I can we have a mothers day out program at church once a week and it is my saving grace. I don't know what I would do without the 4 free hours a week I get with that. Sometimes you just have to step back and look at what is important. Kids are taken care and you are taken care of, sometimes that just has to be enough.

Can anyone share some constructive indoor activities for twin toddlers? I need to get better about doing activities with them and don't know how to get started. They eat playdough, and color all over everything, it gets a little frustrating.
post #18 of 29
Emily! I've been missing your posts. Sorry to hear the little guys are so tough on you. Hope it the tantrum storm breaks soon. Or at least is punctuated by a good hug and time off. Glad you got out to knitting class. Getting out is a necessity!

Part of me, although really sorry your situation is so tough, part of me was glad to see your post. My girls are a bit easier than your two by the sound of it, and a little lighter when they demand to be held and carried at the same time. So I feel that I should be able to do all sorts of things now. My house should be clean, I should be fit and well dressed, I should be able to volunteer for all sorts of social activities. After all, my kids are older now, and "I just have two." Maybe part of it is that two of my closest friends are expecting their second. And I know it's going to knock them on their ass. They'll need a lot of help, and will feel like their situation is SO much harder than mine. Feels weird to say, no. Having twins is often tough, and still is.

But the reality is that now I have two wild, strong willed little self destructive Tasmanian devils. I was on my own this weekend, and thankfully my parents met me out each day for a coffee. I used to be fearless about going in public. But this weekend I just KNEW I couldn't do it on my own. The screaming, going limp, demands to be held. My back is killing me too.

But I try to remember that the psychosis of toddlers is because they are going through great things. Major changes in their brains, major leaps forward. This is an amazing time, and they are little sponges. Can't believe what comes out of them sometimes. Izzy said pomogrante this weekend. Well, it came out Pomga, but I'll take it. And yes, babe, you can have that and anything else you want. Except my sunglasses. Please, put them down gently . . .
post #19 of 29
Oh God, oh God, Claire figured out how to climb out of her CRIB!!!!!
post #20 of 29
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
Oh God, oh God, Claire figured out how to climb out of her CRIB!!!!!

Every day we're not there I'm thankful. Please babies, stay put and sleep!
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