How to deal with the repetitive asking

[Code Name Mama]

I don't know if it's just that he now knows how to ask for things, or what, but when 23 month old ds wants something lately, it's just a constant question/demand until I've gotten whatever it is (or I refuse and it turns into a meltdown).

For example: today he wanted to play with his scissors, and I was in the middle of dishes. I told him I would help him with scissors in 2 minutes.
He asks again "scissors? scissors! neenee (what he calls himself) scissors!"
I mirrored what he wanted: "You want to play with scissors." And repeated that we would get to it: "We will play with scissors together in 2 minutes after I finish dishes.

Repeat this several times while I a) finished dishes and b) got extremely annoyed.

It is like this with everything. Everything. He wants an apple?

"apple? apple? apple? apple! neenee apple! APPLE?" All the while I am saying in a calm voice, "You want an apple, we are going to the kitchen to get an apple. See here is an apple, I am cutting it for you."

Even when I am in the middle of granting a request, he keeps at it. It's like there is a CD in his head stuck on repeat.

It is driving me insane!!! I often lose my patience and say much more firmly than intended "you need to WAIT. you need to give mama a MINUTE. I will get it for you!"

HELP! If only to tell me this is a short lived stage. I think I can handle it if I know there is an end in sight. Or give me a different coping mechanism, because I don't know how long my patience rope can possibly be wants it gets colder and we are cooped up more than usual!

[Tizzy]

I always turn the question around and ask him. "Do you want an apple? Yes or no.
Okay, we will get you an apple."

[2mama]

I always just repetativly answer DC will grow tired of this with time!

[Whistler]

Mine did/do this. Drive me nuts too!

Sometimes I say, "Please ask just once." Sometimes I ask a question back. Sometimes I ignore it, get the thing and give it to them (if it is something I ought to get, anyway).

As far as throwing a fit when Mom says no, we juat made that a rule that you don't throw a fit when Mom says no. I explain my reasons so they can see I am being fair but they are not to have a tantrum when I say no. Also for this reason I try to say yes whenever possible so I am holding up my end of the deal.

[waiting2bemommy]

yeah, ds does this. for example while I was serving him his dinner tonight, AS I WAS SERVING him, he was already asking "more tacos?" it's like this all day. more juice, more cookie, more play, more me ride bike, mommy try, me try, mommy lay down me, mommy lay down, mommy lay dooooown, mommy NOW!!!!

It drives me bonkers. I have three strategies, presented here in the usual order of use (from good mommy to bad mommy ):
1) I patiently and calmly repeat, "I heard you and I answered you, please be patient."
2) I ask him to sing me a song (although lately he has started making up songs with requests in them.)
3) I go in the bathroom, lock the door and turn on the fan to drown it out for a couple minutes. Once I came out after I was feeling less frustrated and he ran in behind me yelling "mommy FLUSH!" you HAVE to love a kid like that.

[ms.shell]

I go in the bathroom, lock the door and turn on the fan to drown it out for a couple minutes. Once I came out after I was feeling less frustrated and he ran in behind me yelling "mommy FLUSH!" you HAVE to love a kid like that.

indeed you do!

op, in that sort of situation, i think what i would do is sing. With the apple example, when he asked me for an apple in the other room and while we were enroute and i was slicing, or whatever, i would be singing "an apple an apple neenee wants an apple." for longer waits (say in the car going home), the song would be longer and sillier. I would rather hear singing than whining or demanding and this would be a good way for both of us to use positive energy in the situation.
also, this is a bit different than the asking in your question, but fwiw. if you are unable to give him what he is asking for because you have none (cookies were the example for me where i learned this worked beautifully with my son), you can pretend to grant the request. "cookies mama me want cookie" "we dont have any cookies" cookies mama" "im sorry baby....yadda yadda yah"...id infinitum....until i said "okay, here, here's a cookie" and PRETENDED to give him one, which he gladly accepted with a smile. !!! I remember using this another morning when there was nothing exciting for breakfast and he decided we should go to waffle house.
Good Luck!

[_betsy_]

At 23 months, he does not understand the concept of time at all. Wait 2 minutes, wait a minute, could both be "Not this decade" as far as he can comprehend.

Better would be "When I'm done washing this dish, I'll help you with the scissors." Or "Let's sing 'Twinkle Twinkle' first!"

With the apple situation, I'd probably say "Yes, we're getting an apple! Is it red or green?"

And yes, thankfully, it's short lived as their vocabulary seems to grow by leaps and bounds daily at this age.

[Theoretica]

Sigh.

Insanely, mind numbingly normal.

All of mine have done it, my current littlest is 19 mos and does this CONSTANTLY.

It's cute....when she does it to anyone else

[sunshadow]

My daughter is a bit older, 30 months, and I've started telling her after answer her question a few times usually, that "I've already answered you honey and I am going to (do such and such as per her request, or not) as soon as I can. I won't be answering you again." She actually usually stops asking at that point. (knock on wood)

[Krisis]

Thank God Toby's not the only one. This drives me NUTS. I always tell him "yes Toby, mama is getting it. You need to WAIT. I KNOW you want _____." And ARGH IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.

So glad I'm not alone

[Code Name Mama]

Thank you for all of the responses mamas!!

Originally Posted by ms.shell

indeed you do!

op, in that sort of situation, i think what i would do is sing. With the apple example, when he asked me for an apple in the other room and while we were enroute and i was slicing, or whatever, i would be singing "an apple an apple neenee wants an apple." for longer waits (say in the car going home), the song would be longer and sillier. I would rather hear singing than whining or demanding and this would be a good way for both of us to use positive energy in the situation.
also, this is a bit different than the asking in your question, but fwiw. if you are unable to give him what he is asking for because you have none (cookies were the example for me where i learned this worked beautifully with my son), you can pretend to grant the request. "cookies mama me want cookie" "we dont have any cookies" cookies mama" "im sorry baby....yadda yadda yah"...id infinitum....until i said "okay, here, here's a cookie" and PRETENDED to give him one, which he gladly accepted with a smile. !!! I remember using this another morning when there was nothing exciting for breakfast and he decided we should go to waffle house.
Good Luck!

These are the best suggestions, ty ty ty! Songs will definitely make light of the situation, and he loves to pretend!

Originally Posted by _betsy_

At 23 months, he does not understand the concept of time at all. Wait 2 minutes, wait a minute, could both be "Not this decade" as far as he can comprehend.

Better would be "When I'm done washing this dish, I'll help you with the scissors." Or "Let's sing 'Twinkle Twinkle' first!"

With the apple situation, I'd probably say "Yes, we're getting an apple! Is it red or green?"

And yes, thankfully, it's short lived as their vocabulary seems to grow by leaps and bounds daily at this age.

I realize does not have the same concept of time that an adult has
I didn't write our whole scissors conversation, but I also said "while I wash the last 3 plates," "while I finish the dishes," etc. I do use time concepts though, just to make him familiar with them - plus he really likes clocks for some reason.

Originally Posted by Tizzy

I always turn the question around and ask him. "Do you want an apple? Yes or no.
Okay, we will get you an apple."

I've tried this as part of the whole "affirming what he wants" thing, but that usually just fuels the fire. Man those toddlers can be insistent!!