Would you turn and run the other way? - Page 3

[Jenne]

You asked how to not text him back. Here's what you do...when you receive his text immediately erase it. Then go hug your daughter. Or even better turn your phone off. Or go to your cell service and get a new number. Or have his number blocked.

You can do it! He is bad news! He is using his money to harass you instead of getting electricity...what a stupid move...

Jenne

[PlayaMama]

Originally Posted by Jenne

You asked how to not text him back. Here's what you do...when you receive his text immediately erase it. Then go hug your daughter. Or even better turn your phone off. Or go to your cell service and get a new number. Or have his number blocked.

You can do it! He is bad news! He is using his money to harass you instead of getting electricity...what a stupid move...

Jenne

listen to jenne, she's a smart one! i think that erasing it before you can possibly respond is your best move, just do it quick and don't think about it, then when it's gone you don't have the option to say anything back.

and TOTALLY to the bolded...

[Smithie]

"I'm proud of you. I know, I'm a stranger over the internet so it doesn't mean much but every time I see a woman showing her daughter that she doesn't have to take controlling abusive behavior I'm just filled with pride. You'll be able to teach any future sons how a man should treat a woman as well. These are invaluable gifts to the next generation."





I know it's a hassle right now, but I wish I could convey to you the joy that we BTDT mamas feel when another mama jumps off the rails before the Crazy Train hits her! Stay strong!

[Kirsten]

I'd either change your cell number or not answer any calls from numbers you don't know. And DO NOT text him back. It is cruel. It is giving him hope. It is saying there is a chance, and it is extending the amount of time that he will continue to try. If you really want him to stop, YOU have to stop.

[Seie]

Yes RUN! Been there done that. Only my guy was much nicer and not nearly as controlling from the start as this guy sounds. IF it is that bad already I promise in time it will be a nightmare. Leave before this gets any more serious!

[StephandOwen]

Wow. My head is spinning reading this thread. Obviously my answer is that ANYONE writing a post titled "would you turn and run the other way" needs to do just that.

As for the texts- just. don't. answer. them. Easy as that. Don't do it. Delete immediately, before you even read them. He doesn't deserve your time. Is it cruel? NO. It's reality. He is not respecting you. You owe him NOTHING.

[LemonPie]

I agree with StephandOwen except for one thing: SAVE THE TEXTS. If this reaches a point where you need to file for a restraining order (because let's face it, this is already escalating), they'll come in handy as evidence.

[rosie29]

How are you doing, alternativemomma??? I'm thinking of you and hoping you're celebrating Thanksgiving surrounded by people who truly love and respect you and your daughter.

[Jenne]

I know this is old, but I was thinking about you the other day alternativemama and wondering how you were doing in this New Year! Please don't feel any pressure, I just wanted to know if things were going well for you regardless of the guy situation.

Happy New Year!
Jenne

[New_Natural_Mom]

Run away as fast as you can! No to all this! This guy will suck you in and never let you go. Your gut says that this is not right - listen to it. He didn't give up anything to be with you. He made his decisions and whatever resulted from that have nothing to do with you. Do you really want this drama in your or your DD's life? RUN!

[alternativemomma]

Haven't been over here in a while- just updating that this guy is LONG GONE he still tries to text me and I j. ignore 24/7. I'm MUCH happier not putting up with his BS.

[Jenne]

I hope you are having an okay 2010 so far. I'm sorry he is still contacting you but I'm thrilled you seem to be handling it so well.

Here is to your future and a life of blissful happiness! You deserve it!

Jenne

[feminist~mama]

Yay! I'm glad to hear it all turned out well!

When I was a single mama, I eventually found that my judgment *sucked* in the face of a beautiful man and came up with a hard and fast no compromising list for dating:

1) He has to have a car
2) He has to have a place to live- I was cool with roommates, but not living with the parents
3) He has to have a job- full-time, no "self-employed" or "farmers" or "carpenters" or "temp workers"
4) He has to have a driver's license
5) He must not have a criminal record
6) He has to have a phone

I would have been willing to give a bit on the car if I lived in a metro area and met a super-crunchy dude who did public transit/ biking for environmental reasons- but I don't, public transit here is a joke, and *I'm* really not *that* crunchy, so it likely wouldn't have been a good fit anyway! Oh, and "farmer" and "carpenter" here is often code for "indoor pot grower"... I wouldn't have had an objection to someone really growing veggies or building houses!

Seriously, this list knocked out more guys than I care to remember! It was pathetic!

Best of luck OP!

[alternativemomma]

HAHA omg....Have we been meeting the same guys? I swear everyone I meet nowadays falls in the criteria you said of whom NOT to date. I have a bf right now but.. he doesn't feel like my bf and it's definitely not gonna last so idk it's whatever. I'm reallly content with my life right now, not content...happy,proud, lovin' life, lovin' my daughter, lovin' how far I've came emotionally. I don't really have any complaints, and the ones I do are just like, life you know? I'm handling them with ease and not getting worked up. I'm in college solely distance learning and this is my SECOND YEAR with a baby! I'm proud that I've came this far, I'm proud that I got a 100 on my first history test and that I have not been slacking in my homework, nor have I been slacking or getting frustrated as a mother. Bedtime has went smoothly all month and on nights where it hasn't I have handled it so well and stayed calm, my DD has all these food allergies I'm finding out about and I'm j. eliminating them all with ease coming up with new recipes for her to eat. My parents both work full time now so it's me who cooks/cleans/ and takes care of the house while I'm home and even though ideally I don't want to live here, I know in august I will move out and I'm doing all that I can to help until then. POINT being... I don't need anyone right now I am SO in love with how I handle life and how life is being dealt to me, good and bad. <3
I just needed someone to share it with.

[feminist~mama]

It does sound like you're in a *great* place right now- I'm so happy for you!

[Jenne]

Oh, I'm SO pleased for you! I just can't smile enough thinking of all that hard work you have done and how much better off you are for it. Not that it didn't suck but think of all you have learned about yourself! Wow! That is just awesome! Can I be your cheerleader?

Jenne