CIO - "complain" it out :)

[leaves]

i have a 3mo son and we're blessed that he's an easy baby. he's very sociable and definitely likes to be held, but honestly, sometimes i just need a break and some space. i will never, ever let him CIO (the few times he's actually cried for more than a couple minutes when i couldn't get to him, it just breaks my heart), but there are occasional nights when i've fed/changed/rocked/cuddled/played with him all i can and he is fussy (usually when he's very tired and not interested/too fidgety to nursing to sleep) and i put him in his swing. he would rather be held, and he doesn't really cry, but makes complaining noises (ehh! ahh! *grunt*... kwim? and fusses.

what are your thoughts on this? do you let your baby complain it out? or do you hold your infant whenever they need/want to be held?

[dislocator3972]

My DD is 12 weeks and she sometimes isn't sure what she wants. If I let her fuss for a few minutes she will usually either nurse or let me put her to sleep. Sometimes I pop her into the swing during this stage and run to the bathroom or tie up any loose ends before we sit down and nurse/sleep. Sometimes I think her fusses are a ten minute warning before she actually gets upset. I have no problem putting her down for a minute during the 'warning' period.

[LadyCatherine185]

At 3 months, I wouldn't ever put him down if he was fussing, unless putting him down stopped the fussing. If I knew he'd rather be held, I held him. JMO

[The4OfUs]

Totally depends on the kid IMO. Kid#1 I could put down if he was grumpy and I had done everything I could think of if my arms or mind needed a break and he would fuss but not go ballistic, and give me a couple minutes to recompose myself and pick him back up again so I could be more present and calming for him again instead of stressed out.

Kid #2 would go ballistic within a minute of being put down, there was no "fussy" with her. So I got a good carrier and dealt with her never wanting to be put down AND being very angry and vocal about it when I did. My only salvation with her was that she slept rather decently so I did get some breaks from her at night - but all day it was all mommy for a LONG time.

If he can deal for a couple minutes and it's a time when you *need* a breather, then I'd do it, and just pick him back up when you can. You're not going to be helping anyone if you get burnt out. The only time I wouldn't do it was with a kid like my second one - she didn't have a "kind of grumpy" setting. She had 2 settings - OK, or PI$$ED. So I'd only put her down when I *really, really* needed to.

[gossamerwindweb]

My motto is... if you are feeling frustrated, it is always better to put them down for a few minutes. It is just better than possibly shaking, etc. So that is what I always tell myself, my daughter, and my husband. If he is fussy and whiny and we are getting frustrated, we either pass him to another person or (if no one else is available to hold him) put him down in a safe place (swing, bouncy seat, etc) and take a breather to collect ourselves. If we aren't feeling frustrated, then we just hold him through the fussing.

[Amanda Williams]

Originally Posted by leaves

i have a 3mo son and we're blessed that he's an easy baby. he's very sociable and definitely likes to be held, but honestly, sometimes i just need a break and some space. i will never, ever let him CIO (the few times he's actually cried for more than a couple minutes when i couldn't get to him, it just breaks my heart), but there are occasional nights when i've fed/changed/rocked/cuddled/played with him all i can and he is fussy (usually when he's very tired and not interested/too fidgety to nursing to sleep) and i put him in his swing. he would rather be held, and he doesn't really cry, but makes complaining noises (ehh! ahh! *grunt*... kwim? and fusses.

what are your thoughts on this? do you let your baby complain it out? or do you hold your infant whenever they need/want to be held?

Our babies sound a lot alike and I put Isaac (8/7/09) down for the night in the swing after nursing, diaper change, and cuddles about 3 times a week if he is not ready to nurse to sleep with me. Sometimes he'll bark a bit, but will drift off to sleep in about 5 minutes... He is so sweet and I think is able to be soothed by the swing quite well. I don't sleep until I make sure he is totally asleep and then will grab him right away when he wakes up hungry a few hours later. He is my fourth and I have done this with all of my babies. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job!