DS is 20 months old (almost 21). For a while he had gotten to the point where DH could get him to sleep. And I didn't have to nurse him to sleep (which was really getting old since he would nurse for 45 min-hour). Then, I'm trying to think about what happened when... but DS stopped going to sleep for DH. DS would scream and scream. I hated that and maybe I was too soft, but I decided to just go to him. So it's back to me doing all the night time parenting. He doesn't nurse for as long when going to sleep. Basically, after we read he'll nurse for about 10 minutes and then I let him wiggle himself to sleep. No tears and only a few whines. I'm happy with it. What I'm not happy with is that now he is waking 4 times in the night to nurse (at about 11:30, 1:30, 3:30 and 5:00) And he'll nurse for up to 30 or 45 minutes to get back into a deep enough sleep that I can latch him off without him getting really upset. I just can't do this. When he nurses at night, he sucks REALLY hard, and I don't know if he's developing a problem with his latch (does this happen in toddlerhood?), but the nursing hurts. My nipples are like permenantly erect and tender. So I've been talking to DH about working on night weaning. Because I just can't stand this any more. I got better sleep when he was a new born... and I have had a full night's rest since early pregnancy (let's see, that would almost 2 years ago). Anyway. On Thursday evening, we decided to try it. When going to bed, I told DS that the boobies were going to be sleeping that night and that he wouldn't be able to nurse till morning. I honestly don't think he understood, but I just told myself, he'll get it. So I did our bedtime routine, read, nurse, wiggle to sleep. He woke up at about 11:45 wanting to nurse. DH went in there to get him back to sleep. It did not go well. DS got pretty upset, crying and calling out "boob! nur!" DH doesn't like to do have an unlimited time in for this kind of thing, so I decided to give it 20 minutes before I would go in there. Well 20 minutes, DS was getting kind of hysterical. So I went in there with the intention that I would comfort without nursing. Sometimes if he can just put his hand down my shirt and know that they're still there, that helps. Well, it didn't help. He kept calling out "BOOB!" I told him "boobies are asleep right now. We'll nurse in the morning." He just screamed and kicked and flailed. It was awful. DH even tried giving him a bottle (sometimes, DS likes to take a bottle 
). He just screamed harder and threw it. So finally after about an hour of this, I lifted my shirt. I was feeling really confused. Like I was making a choice between being too rigid and not following through. I just know that it was awful listening to him cry so hard. But by that time, he was so upset that he couldn't/wouldn't nurse. I don't know, maybe I was confusing him even more by offering the boob after I said they were asleep. But he got really mad and pushed away from me when I tried to let him nurse. He screamed and cried for another 10 minutes or so, and then settled enough to nurse. It only took about 5-10 minutes and he was calm, but then he was wide awake. Wanting to talk and play. DH and I just kind of slept with him in the middle of us (DS has a full sized bed in his room that he sleeps in because full time co-sleeping stopped working for us when he was about 12 months old). And when DS seemed calm enough for me to leave, I went back to our bed. All was well for about 15 minutes. But then DS started calling out for me again. Got upset (but not as upset as before). I was so tired by this point and this is where I feel really ashamed, but I just put my head under a pillow and let DH deal with it. It was 3:30 when DH finally came back to bed. DS slept till 6 (which is about an hour later than when he normally wakes up). I got an email from his DCP yesterday saying that he had a wierd day and seemed really off all morning long. No fever or anything. Just not acting normal. Then at about 11:30 he had a really huge poop. So I don't know if he was having tummy troubles because of all the trauma at night or if all the trauma at night was because he was having tummy troubles. But whatever it was... I feel terrible about how that whole thing went. DH did too. So last night, I went back to nursing him. UGH! I just don't know how to acheive a balance with all this. I mean, I want to meet his needs, but I'm REALLY tired (and I'm a WOHM-with no option to SAHM or WAHM at the moment) and I'm really starting to resent the amount of night time parenting that I have to do. Plus my nipples are sore enough that it's hard for me to want to nurse during the day. Something's gotta give and it can't be anyone's sanity. I talked to my LLL leader about it. She said she just finished nightweaning her DD3 (about the same age as DS) because she had started a day time job. Said it took two weeks of crying at night with dad. But I don't know if she meant crying and whining or screaming hysterically (which is what DS was doing). I want this to be a gentle process. I need some ideas. I know that people saying that crying in arms is not the same thing as crying it out. But I just feel so awful letting him scream like that with DH knowing that he wouldn't be hysterical if I were just in there nursing him. I feel really guilty about it.
). He just screamed harder and threw it. So finally after about an hour of this, I lifted my shirt. I was feeling really confused. Like I was making a choice between being too rigid and not following through. I just know that it was awful listening to him cry so hard. But by that time, he was so upset that he couldn't/wouldn't nurse. I don't know, maybe I was confusing him even more by offering the boob after I said they were asleep. But he got really mad and pushed away from me when I tried to let him nurse. He screamed and cried for another 10 minutes or so, and then settled enough to nurse. It only took about 5-10 minutes and he was calm, but then he was wide awake. Wanting to talk and play. DH and I just kind of slept with him in the middle of us (DS has a full sized bed in his room that he sleeps in because full time co-sleeping stopped working for us when he was about 12 months old). And when DS seemed calm enough for me to leave, I went back to our bed. All was well for about 15 minutes. But then DS started calling out for me again. Got upset (but not as upset as before). I was so tired by this point and this is where I feel really ashamed, but I just put my head under a pillow and let DH deal with it. It was 3:30 when DH finally came back to bed. DS slept till 6 (which is about an hour later than when he normally wakes up). I got an email from his DCP yesterday saying that he had a wierd day and seemed really off all morning long. No fever or anything. Just not acting normal. Then at about 11:30 he had a really huge poop. So I don't know if he was having tummy troubles because of all the trauma at night or if all the trauma at night was because he was having tummy troubles. But whatever it was... I feel terrible about how that whole thing went. DH did too. So last night, I went back to nursing him. UGH! I just don't know how to acheive a balance with all this. I mean, I want to meet his needs, but I'm REALLY tired (and I'm a WOHM-with no option to SAHM or WAHM at the moment) and I'm really starting to resent the amount of night time parenting that I have to do. Plus my nipples are sore enough that it's hard for me to want to nurse during the day. Something's gotta give and it can't be anyone's sanity. I talked to my LLL leader about it. She said she just finished nightweaning her DD3 (about the same age as DS) because she had started a day time job. Said it took two weeks of crying at night with dad. But I don't know if she meant crying and whining or screaming hysterically (which is what DS was doing). I want this to be a gentle process. I need some ideas. I know that people saying that crying in arms is not the same thing as crying it out. But I just feel so awful letting him scream like that with DH knowing that he wouldn't be hysterical if I were just in there nursing him. I feel really guilty about it.
We've spent two weeks now trying different things to help her know that she can fall asleep outside of my arms (and off the boppy) and that she doesn't need milk all night long.
