I am not really sure where to put this, but figure two of this issues fit this forum, so here goes:
I recently began working full time and end up being away from my son (2.5) about 45 hours a week. I also work a part time job on the weekends that takes up about 2-4 hours every other Sunday. DS comes with me, but it is certainly not quality time with him in any way. Plus I am in school and am in class for 8-9 hours every third Saturday and every third Sunday.
So, I get a whole weekend with him every three weeks, and on the two other weekends, I get one full day and the rest of the week is a loss. We wake up, go to work/school, come home, make dinner, pack lunches and he goes to bed. No quality time in the evenings at all. Mostly him sitting in front of the tv lately watching a movie while I make dinner and pack lunches.
I am missing my little boy so much, it makes my heart ache. Today was my only full day with him in a 12 day stretch, and it was horrible. He tantrumed so hard for so much of the day, and generally just got under my skin the rest of the time. I ended up stopping in at Old Navy to check out the 50% off clearance racks, because I desperately need clothing for my new job and they had tons that fit me well and was very cheap. Not something he wanted or needed to be doing, but there was no other time I could possibly get in there. I can't afford much for clothing for myself right now, and was hoping we would be in and out in a half hour or so. We would have, but he ended up having a pee accident in the dressing room, and the people who worked in there freaked out about it completely. I got so stressed out, I felt like vomiting, and ended up taking it out on him a bit, which made me feel even worse. We ended up being late for a story time that I had promised him and the book was almost over when we got in there because we had to stay to help with the pee accident (that I was actually told I was not allowed to help clean up after standing there for about 15 minutes with a cranky 2 year old waiting for supplies to clean it up). Then we went out for a bagel with some friends who's children have infinitely more patience than my son who proceeded to freak out there, while I was trying desperately to get away so he could run around outside.
I just can't figure out how to do it all. I need to do things like laundry, clean my house, shop for some new clothing occasionally when I find them for cheap, etc, but when I only get one day off and I desperately need to spend some quality time with my child, I feel guilty for getting the things done that need to get done.
I just can't do it all, and I need to. I don't have any other choice. His father is not in our lives, so it is all mama, all the time. Not that I want him being watched by anyone else. I barely see him as it is. I just want to cry.
I recently began working full time and end up being away from my son (2.5) about 45 hours a week. I also work a part time job on the weekends that takes up about 2-4 hours every other Sunday. DS comes with me, but it is certainly not quality time with him in any way. Plus I am in school and am in class for 8-9 hours every third Saturday and every third Sunday.
So, I get a whole weekend with him every three weeks, and on the two other weekends, I get one full day and the rest of the week is a loss. We wake up, go to work/school, come home, make dinner, pack lunches and he goes to bed. No quality time in the evenings at all. Mostly him sitting in front of the tv lately watching a movie while I make dinner and pack lunches.
I am missing my little boy so much, it makes my heart ache. Today was my only full day with him in a 12 day stretch, and it was horrible. He tantrumed so hard for so much of the day, and generally just got under my skin the rest of the time. I ended up stopping in at Old Navy to check out the 50% off clearance racks, because I desperately need clothing for my new job and they had tons that fit me well and was very cheap. Not something he wanted or needed to be doing, but there was no other time I could possibly get in there. I can't afford much for clothing for myself right now, and was hoping we would be in and out in a half hour or so. We would have, but he ended up having a pee accident in the dressing room, and the people who worked in there freaked out about it completely. I got so stressed out, I felt like vomiting, and ended up taking it out on him a bit, which made me feel even worse. We ended up being late for a story time that I had promised him and the book was almost over when we got in there because we had to stay to help with the pee accident (that I was actually told I was not allowed to help clean up after standing there for about 15 minutes with a cranky 2 year old waiting for supplies to clean it up). Then we went out for a bagel with some friends who's children have infinitely more patience than my son who proceeded to freak out there, while I was trying desperately to get away so he could run around outside.
I just can't figure out how to do it all. I need to do things like laundry, clean my house, shop for some new clothing occasionally when I find them for cheap, etc, but when I only get one day off and I desperately need to spend some quality time with my child, I feel guilty for getting the things done that need to get done.
I just can't do it all, and I need to. I don't have any other choice. His father is not in our lives, so it is all mama, all the time. Not that I want him being watched by anyone else. I barely see him as it is. I just want to cry.
