Originally Posted by felix23
Question for those who think EC is always the best, what about the cases (like mine and at least one other here in this thread) where the babies hated being held over a potty? Even if they gave signals, wouldn't it be kind of mean to stress them out by holding them over a potty instead of letting them use the diaper which didn't stress them out? Isn't the whole point of being AP listening to your baby? So if the baby hates potty time and likes diapers, wouldn't the most AP method be, even if they signal, let them use a diaper?
Well, I don't think that ec is always the best, but I'll tell you what I plan to do if any of my future babies acted the same way yours did. Please don't take this as me saying this is what YOU should have done or anything, I'm just trying to give you an idea of what a person in this situation could do if they still really wanted to do ec (since you asked).
If my baby didn't like being naked or held over a potty as a newborn/young baby, I would probably just focus on getting them used to my "ssss" noise and to associate it with the feeling of peeing/pooping. Any time that I noticed that they were peeing or pooping (during a diaper change, during bum-airing naked time, if I were carrying them in a sling and noticed them getting warm in the diaper region, if I smelled a poop brewing, etc), I would say "sssss, you're peeing!" or something like that.
Every few days or whatever felt right, I'd try the potty again at a likely time. If s/he protested, I would stop. I would also try to make any "potty offers" as low key as possible. I would do it with a potty-bowl between my legs and just nudge diaper to the side without fully taking it off, to help him/her feel more secure than a full on diaper-off over the big potty thing (I got good at this with dd, but it would definitely be harder without practice). Things change so quickly with babies, and I would hope that s/he stopped minding an occasional naked butt after a while.
Just reread some of your posts. With a 1 year old, I'd probably keep it even more low key until I saw him/her showing signs that s/he was more interested. I'd offer verbally a couple of times a month--if she fussed, I'd stop. Letting her know when I was using the potty and ask her if she wanted to come too. Talking about what I was doing while I was changing her diaper. Stuff like that. I'd pay more attention (and probably get a book about using the potty or something) around 18 months--I've seen a TON of babies (ec and non ec'd alike) go through some sort of "window of opportunity" around that time. They just seem more aware of peeing/pooping. Grabbing diapers when they go, following adults to the potty, playing with the potty, sitting on the potty for fun or to imitate mom/dad, etc.
Just for the record, I think ec is not the best choice if a parent just isn't into it (for any of the reasons mentioned in this thread) or if they're SO into it that they forget that it isn't about getting the pee/poop in the potty, it's about listening to their kid.