I see this thread is back, but I'm editing my posts out because I'm no longer interested in participating in this conversation
post #61 of 260
11/24/09 at 12:08am
I understand so many of the reasons to NOT do EC - I had many of those thoughts about it some years ago and did not do it with my first. But the one I don't get is the idea of it grossing you out...???? How is it gross to have your baby pee or poo in a potty or toilet instead of it - poo especially - being mushed all over their bum and genitals and being so, so much harder to clean up that the quick wipe post-potty results in?
I was just thinking of the accidents my kids had when they were being potty trained. I swear nothing is grosser than a big pile of poop on your floor. *shudder*
I have a bleach/water solution kept in a spray bottle for a reason.
I do have a question though. My baby, for the first 2 months, peed all the time, but pooped when eating. Not before, not after, DURING. How on earth would you work EC with that?
You're welcome to it, but everything I've read about it makes me either giggle or roll my eyes. Basically I find it a rather silly romanticizing of a past that never really existed. Call me ignorant or uneducated all you want, and I'll have to beg to disagree... but I'm good with diapers, thanks.
As someone who has promoted EC for the past 4 years, and practiced EC for nearly 7 years, I am deeply saddened by some of the comments here. There seems to be some anger and unfair misconceptions, such as that ECers think we are better mothers or that it is just a gimmick. I have long said that I promote EC to let people know what they *could* do, not what they *should* do. Making comments like that not only hurts me because of all the countless hours I've put in as an EC advocate, but it hurts me deeply as a parent.
My background is that I have 6 children. My first 2 were diapered full time and conventionally toilet trained. My 3rd was a late late start ECer, and my youngest 3 have full-time ECed since birth.
I have also breastfed all of them between 1 1/2 and 4 years, and I'm currently nursing my youngest. Infact I have been breastfeeding continuously for the past 10 1/2 years. As a breastfeeding advocate and breastffeding support person it makes me sad to hear that comparing EC and breastfeeding is offensive. I know that many mothers have had their breastfeeding difficulties resolved or helped because of learning some EC techniques (for example popping on and off the breast is a sign of needing to pee or poop and many babies will not settle down to nurse until after they have been pottied). For more on EC and breastfeeding check out this link:
Several people have asked about the benefits of EC. I don't think you can truly understand some of them unless you try EC, but 75 reasons are listed on the DiaperFreeBaby website. Here is the link:
I don't even know where to start on all the misconceptions. I guess I will just address a few that I can remember. About that idea that you need to watch your baby for cues all day to EC, you don't need to do this anymore than you need to stay home all day to watch for signs of hunger to breastfeed on cue. It is the exact same concept as breastfeeding on cue, and there is nothing offensive about that.
About all mammals nurse their young the same, but handle their eliminations differently, I would suggest reading If My Mom Were A Platypus which descibes how nursing varies amongst mammals.
About the messiness factor, in my experience EC is less messy than both full-time diapering (both cloth and sposies) and conventional toilet training.
I have been thinking a lot lately that I think one of the biggest reasons mothers don't want to try EC is fear of failure. I think there is a misconception that ECing ccaregivers have to catch everything and never use back-up, etc. There is no such thing as perfect EC, not even in indigenous cultures. EC is also not outcome based. The goal of EC is not potty training in the same way that the goal of breastfeeding isn't to wean as quickly as possible. In both instances you meet the need until the child outgrows it, and as long as mother and child desires.
Anyway, I just really want to encourage everyone to check out sites like www.diaperfreebaby.org, www,diaperfreechallenge.org, and www.cleanearthhappybaby.org and read about how EC has impacted parents and babies, or give it a try, before dismissing not only the practice of EC but the experiences of the families practicing it.
Here it is again. No, I am not uninterested in EC because I "fear failure."
Do you not see that statements like that are exactly what people are talking about when they say that EC advocates are calling themselves better parents and even better *people*? You basically just called people who don't want to EC scaredycats -- one of the oldest playground fighting words around. That "75 reasons" list you linked to is also full of similar arguments -- the "better bond" and the "If you're REALLY AP you'd WANT to EC" arguments, specifically.
...Pooping in a bowl while you nurse, or being balanced on a potty at the age of 6 weeks is NOT required for life.
....Not every person lives in a house where one of those "misses" is no big deal. Not everyone can arrange their lives to drop everything whenever their baby makes a potty cue.
It is a very individual decision. You've seen a lot of well-presented reasons why a range of people decided it would not work in the totality of their lives. Some people decide it is important enough to make work, other people decide there are other things that take priority within the greater context of their entire family and entire life.
|EC is consistent with Attachment Parenting because it:
14. Encourages the development of a trusting relationship with children through communication about a basic human need.
16. Fosters greater security in a baby: “Mommy and Daddy listen to what I am saying and respond to my needs.”
17. Explains why a baby may not sleep through the night: she wakes when she needs to eliminate.
|54. EC respects children.|
|EC is consistent with Attachment Parenting because it:|
I don't know if you were directing that, at me, even partly, but I do feel I answered the original question on why I don't EC. I respect EC and try to be responsive to the needs of babes/toddlers in my life wrt elimination needs. I'm a quick changer, a baby sign user, but I'm not a pee- or poop-catcher.
True, as I understand it EC does not = diaperless, but it involves more bare bum time than diapered babies get, and more leaks from strategically positioned prefolds etc. Most EC babes I've known are pretty much naked at home in the early toddler stage, and there is a lot of cleaning up puddles/some cleaning up poop.