Using a cosleeper - am I doing this wrong?

[Spiralshell]

I also posted this over in Life with a Babe...

Hello Mamas -- I am looking for some advice on how to make our nights easier. Nate is just shy of 4 weeks old.

We have an arm's reach cosleeper and Nate goes down pretty easily and will sleep for 2 or 3 hours at a stretch. BUT, when he wakes up in the middle of the night it's not really working very well. In order to let DP sleep, I have been jumping out of bed at the first fuss, and taking Nate out into the living room to change and feed him, then I go back to bed afterwards. But this really seems to defeat the purpose of having a cosleeper! I want to find a way to make it work where I can stay in the bedroom.
DP had to be away last night so I tried a full night with the babe in the bedroom. And it went like this:
He sleeps for a while (~2 hrs), then starts to fuss a bit.
I offer my pinky to suck on, which often lets him settle again, but if he doesn't it means he's wet/hungry.
I check his diaper, and sure enough he needs to be changed, but to do this without some serious gymnastics I have to get up and out of bed and stand at the end of the cosleeper to get him changed. I just can't seem to manage to change him while staying in bed -- maybe because I am still healing from c-section. However, the cosleeper is low, and it kills my back to lean over like that to change him.
By now he's usually got some pretty good crying going because I have committed the heinous act of removing his blanket and diaper. So I get his clothes back on, and get him swaddled back up in his blanket.
So now I need to feed him... I climb back into bed, get my pillows arranged so that I can sit up with my back supported, get my shirt up, nipple shield on (I'm working on weaning him off the shield, but we need it for now, especially when he's already crying when I try to get him latched), and then I reach over to pick him up and he starts to nurse. But now I'm sitting up in bed for the next 45 minutes, in the dark, while he eats. I am afraid to fall asleep sitting up like that, lest Nate slip out of my arms, and it's not exactly exciting to do this 2 or three times in the night!
I have tried side-lying nursing, and it doesn't really seem to work... getting ourselves arranged is hard, and switching sides is killer because rolling over hurts on its own, but is doubly hard with a baby in my arms. Plus I seem to fall right to sleep, the nipple falls out of Nate's mouth, and he ends up fussing again for me to get us rearranged.

It's almost seeming easier to just do his nighttime feeds out in the living room where it's easier to sit upright in the rocker or on the couch. And I can read or use the computer to keep myself awake. Even if we both fall asleep while he's nursing, he's supported by the boppy and I'm at an angle where he just ends up nestled on my chest -- I'm much less worried about dropping him.

Any ideas about how to make this easier? Am I missing some tips/tricks for making the cosleeper work better for us?

thanks Mamas!

[pjs]

I slept sitting up for the first month with my first child (my October baby is #4). We too used a nipple shield and it was tough going. Once we got rid of the shield nursing in bed was easier but we never quite mastered nursing laying down or switching sides and I paid for it dearly until I nightweaned him at 18 months. My advice- learn how to nurse lying down! It does become easier the more you do it (and I can nurse both sides without flipping everyone over now too!). I haven't had a c-sect, so maybe some moms who have can give you some tips on how to make it easier/more comfortable as you heal.

Is the baby in cloth diapers? Perhaps you could use sposies at night just until nursing becomes easier and then switch bck to cloth?

I had a co-sleeper once and it was easier to just have the baby in bed, perhaps that is an option? And if your DH hears the baby fuss just remember it is a lot easier for him to get back to sleep because he doesn't have to wake up as much by changing a diaper and nursing a baby, sleep deprivation comes with the territory of being a new dad.

[Therese's Mommy]

Maybe I am a bad mom, but I do not change diapers at night unless the baby has pooped. Now, if I couldn't get the baby settled easily I would try a diaper change, but it would be a last resort. I use cloth and it has never been a problem. I just make sure to use enough diaper. Right now, Veronica can still make it through the night in an infant prefold. I use wool, so there is a small amount of evaporation which I am sure helps. When she stirs at night I just put her to the breast and go back to sleep. She never cries during the night, in fact none of my kids have at this age. As soon as they stirred I started nursing them. If they were hungry they ate and then fell back to sleep, if they weren't hungry they just suckled and fell right back to sleep.

[completebeginnings]

nak
do you have an arms reach full size or bassinet size? I have a full size and this is what I do. take off the mattress and cut a piece of card board the size of the mattress. place it under the mattress then stack as many towels and blankets as you can spare on top of card board when it is almost the same height as your bed put the mattress on top. Baby should be the same height as the bed now with about a 6 inch lip of cosleeper going around. make sense. I can actually roll and almost crawl into the cosleeper with the baby to nurse. when baby falls asleep then I roll back to my own bed. I have diapers ready to go in the cosleeper so i dont get out of bed. baby also always sleeps on top of a blanket so if I need to move baby I just "hammock carry" the baby using the blanket by lifting at the edges. I can move baby and keep them asleep this way. No moving your hands under babys head and back. Im sorry if this dosent make sense, also dp needs to get used to the baby noises. it will happen. I have done this exact thing with 4 kids works for us.

[BlueEyedLady]

I don't have advice about using the co-sleeper since we don't have one, but as for nighttime diaper changes...I don't do them once baby stops pooping at night. It just wakes them up too much and then I'm up for hours trying to get them back to sleep. Instead I just make sure the diaper's thick enough to get them through the night, and leave them be, dressed and swaddled and warm.

[eloise24]

We love our co-sleeper and here's what we've found works good.

1. We used 100% cloth with DD but are finding that using 'sposies at night with DS works better- he sleeps better because he doesn't feel so wet.

2. I sit up in bed and lay him in front of me to change him- this may be your option once your body heals. I keep the diapers/wipes/extra pjs in the pockets at the end (though they may be more in my reach b/c we have the mini).

3. Nightlight! I totally can't do it without one! Once DD was like 4 months old I could do it in the dark but otherwise I need my light

[cinnamongrl]

[abigail_b]

This time around I am just nursing side lying and "full" co-sleeping...she isn't actually in the co-sleeper but hopefully soon. I also don't change her diaper at night unless it is poopy.
With my son at this age I used the co sleeper, but I did get up for each feeding. I would go into the nursery and feed him in the glider on one side, then change his diaper, then finish on the other side and place him back in the co-sleeper. If I were you I would just get out of bed. I found it much easier than trying to get in the right position in bed (if you aren't able to do side lying). This phase will pass quickly...once he is bigger you should have an easier time with nursing side lying, which is really what makes co sleeping great.

[First-Time-Mommy]

this sounds just like me for the most part. but here is what i do, even if i'm still zombified in the middle of the night when im awaken, it's what i've found works best for me right now.

1) i have purchased a single changing pad. inexpensive. he co-sleeps in bed, but if you're having a hard time bending at the angle you are, maybe a changing pad might help? you can securely sit on your own bed, shove all pillows and blankets aside, stretch it out, put baby down, have all of your diaper and diaper accessories at hand(i have a little basket at the foot of my bed that i can reach for if i need something... like rash creme). if he needs a change of clothes i retrieve it. all of his clothes are in my bedroom, so that i don't have to walk to the other end of the house for them. quickly do what needs to be done.

2) i have yet to be able to get breastfeeding down while laying down, so i pump or express milk throughout the day so that there is some for nighttime feeding, bottled. i know you may not be apt to use a bottle, but this is just a suggestion and what i do, . so, i have those ready. when he gets hungry i find using a bottle when i'm that tired just goes more easily for me? i can cradle him in my arms or my lap(preferably my lap), because i can support his head and body there while sitting up propped against the wall and my fort of pillows and blankets. i know this doesn't necessarily allow for you to go back to sleep while feeding since then you need to monitor the angle of the bottle, but for me it just allows for a little more relaxation. just me though!

now i'm going to read through all the other suggestions and see if there is something that may better suit me. nice thread btw.