I lost Miles today. I had him longer than I've had DH or my DC. He was so awesome, everyone who met him loved him. He was sweet and friendly- he'd sit up on his hind legs to be petted- and beautiful, a Persian/big yellow barn cat mix. He had the purr to beat all purrs. He was so good to my kids, too.
I just realized that he was sick last night, and took him to the ER vet, but today he was getting worse, not better. My cat Silver died alone in a cage at the vet because we were "giving it a couple of days" and I have never forgiven myself. I couldn't do that to Miles. Plus, Silver was a fierce spirit- she loved me, but she didn't NEED me. Miles was a gentle spirit- he needed me. I couldn't risk him dying alone. So I had him put down. I held him, and he purred to the very, very end.
I feel so selfish. Like I did it because I couldn't watch him suffer.
I don't know what my other kitty Nan is going to do. I got Nan because Miles was pining for a friend, and they are so bonded. Nan was feral kitten who was taken too early from her mama, and Miles was like her adoptive dad. He taught her how to groom herself and use the litter box- how to be a cat, basically. Nan was yowling for Miles this morning when he was at the vet. I think I'm going to show her his body tomorrow, as grim as that is, so she'll understand.
I got Miles when I was 20. He was a young adult when I got him, and he had been thru 4 or 5 homes because the people who kept passing him around were irresponsible party people who couldn't take care of themselves, let alone a cat. They took him because he was beautiful and friendly and cool, but get rid of him when they couldn't afford food or had to move or whatever. When I got him, I promised him we'd be together forever. I kept my promise. Keeping that promise was the first adult thing I ever did. I tried hard to give him a good life. I know there are people who will be less missed than my darling kitty. I keep telling myself all this, but you know what? It's not helping. It still sucks.
Oh, Miles, I love you so much.
I just realized that he was sick last night, and took him to the ER vet, but today he was getting worse, not better. My cat Silver died alone in a cage at the vet because we were "giving it a couple of days" and I have never forgiven myself. I couldn't do that to Miles. Plus, Silver was a fierce spirit- she loved me, but she didn't NEED me. Miles was a gentle spirit- he needed me. I couldn't risk him dying alone. So I had him put down. I held him, and he purred to the very, very end.
I feel so selfish. Like I did it because I couldn't watch him suffer.
I don't know what my other kitty Nan is going to do. I got Nan because Miles was pining for a friend, and they are so bonded. Nan was feral kitten who was taken too early from her mama, and Miles was like her adoptive dad. He taught her how to groom herself and use the litter box- how to be a cat, basically. Nan was yowling for Miles this morning when he was at the vet. I think I'm going to show her his body tomorrow, as grim as that is, so she'll understand.
I got Miles when I was 20. He was a young adult when I got him, and he had been thru 4 or 5 homes because the people who kept passing him around were irresponsible party people who couldn't take care of themselves, let alone a cat. They took him because he was beautiful and friendly and cool, but get rid of him when they couldn't afford food or had to move or whatever. When I got him, I promised him we'd be together forever. I kept my promise. Keeping that promise was the first adult thing I ever did. I tried hard to give him a good life. I know there are people who will be less missed than my darling kitty. I keep telling myself all this, but you know what? It's not helping. It still sucks.
Oh, Miles, I love you so much.
I lost my kitty of 19 years 2 years ago and I still grieve for him.
I'm sorry. I know how much it hurts. I still grieve for our cat who died 4 years ago...
oh i am so so sorry 
It's the truth, too.
