Questions?????????????

[mom61508]

OK I hope these aren't questions that have already been asked. What do you do when your LO hits you in the face and yell after you take something away or tell her she can't do something?????

DD is 17 months old and has been doing this for about 1 month. I'm not sure how to go about the situation????

[Encinalien]

Duck.

[Wild Lupine]

Originally Posted by hablame_today

Duck.

17 months is too young to really get that they're hurting you, or to be able to control impulses. You could validate, show gentle touches, make sure they're getting enough sleep and food (hunger and tiredness tend to exacerbate this kind of behavior). Don't give a big reaction, IMHO, because then that becomes a game in and of itself, wow what a funny face on mommy, let's do that again!

[mom2tatum]

pp said it perfectly.

[mom61508]

duck lol funny! Great advice PP. Another question is how do you make sure they're getting enough to eat! One day she eats all day and the next she's won't eat very much!

[Encinalien]

Well. I felt a little bad for such a short funny answer. But another thing I have to do is I try to know what ds is thinking before he has a chance to think it. What I mean is I watch him closely when I set him down to visit another baby and if I think he's about to think about hitting I smoothly run interference so I don't have to correct him. Dh thinks ds thinks hitting's ok because according to dh I'm "heavy-handed" when I rhythmically pat ds to sooth and comfort him. Dh would have preferred if I used a feather touch for this interaction. Maybe my use of rhythmic patting led ds to feel that it's a social interaction? Oh well. I always assume if there's anything not "right" about ds then it's a phase and he'll outgrow it. If he doesn't then I'll deal with it then.

He turned 2 last month. I'm taking a much firmer stance with throwing toys. If it's not a ball I tell him "don't throw that car. It's not a ball.". If he throws it anyway I tell him how I feel "you threw it, it's not a ball, you don't throw toys" talking the whole time to make sure he's watching as I march to the kitchen and put it on top of the fridge.

Now I still have to watch out because if I'm not paying attention he'll throw a football I'm my face. Here's a more practical answer. Duck when she's "patting" you if she thinks it's a social interaction. Or get up off the couch if you have to and find something to do. Tell her "quit pestering me". As you stand up and walk away. It's teaching her social skills. You can carry things too far and other people don't like it.

On a waay more practical note. I'm sure you figured this out already. To carry a tantrum throwing kid safely turn them around backwards and carry them on your hip facing away from you. If they wanna butt heads throw them over your shoulder like a sack of taters hugging their legs to your chest, their butt up in the air and let them beat up your back as you walk on. I'm sure there's a more dignified way to handle it.

The important thing (if your a sahm, I don't know how daycares or church nurserires do it) is to watch closely and run interference before they have a chance to hit another kid they're visiting. That WILL bring the issue up, make you address it. And you know how babies want to explore anything that gets them curious.

[Grace and Granola]

Originally Posted by hablame_today

He turned 2 last month. I'm taking a much firmer stance with throwing toys. If it's not a ball I tell him "don't throw that car. It's not a ball.". If he throws it anyway I tell him how I feel "you threw it, it's not a ball, you don't throw toys" talking the whole time to make sure he's watching as I march to the kitchen and put it on top of the fridge.

At 17 months, make sure you are letting your child know what she CAN do, rather than only telling her what she shouldn't do. At that age, when my ds1 was throwing toys, we talked alot about what was for throwing and what was not. We talked about which toys were soft and which were hard. I told him he could throw balls and soft things. If he was about to throw a hard toy, as soon as I saw his hand go up, I would say "Wait! Is that hard or soft? You may only throw balls and soft toys." This took some practice, but he learned quickly what was soft and what was hard. Of course, you aren't going to see every move she makes, but when you do, it's a good teaching opportunity.

I think at that age, all you can do is teach them. If she's hitting you, I would take her hand and touch your face softly and say, "Please be gentle with mama." or "Hands are not for hitting, hands are for touching nice." Things like that. It is the age for tantrums and you'll have to ride it out. But you can use those opportunities for gentle instruction.

As far as the eating...it's totally normal for toddlers to eat a ton one day and nearly nothing the next. I would just make sure you offer food every couple of hours, or leave out a tray of snacks that are within reach so she can graze when she feels like it.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

For eating, don't worry as long as she is not losing weight. Toddlers will often eat a lot one day, not eat well for 2-3 days, then eat well again. Overall they eat enough.

It can help to trade another item when you need to take something dangerous away. Give them something even more interesting if you can.

If you need to remove them from an unsafe place, babyproof that place so they can't go there next time. Until you can babyproof, try to redirect to another interesting activity.

[elisent]

Christian has done this for some time. When he was younger I would just say "don't hit" and put him down for a few minute. Now that he's almost 2 he is starting to get some empathy, so I look sad and say he hurt me. Then he pats me gently to say sorry and gives me a hug.