Roommates and homebirth

[smeisnotapirate]

We have a woman who lives with us - is renting a room from us actually. She's excited about our baby, and knows we plan on homebirthing, but I'm trying to think out the logistics of where to put the pool and how to manage the fact that we only have ONE bathroom in the whole house.

She usually spends a lot of time at her girlfriend's house and I can see her going there when active labor starts, but my labor with DS was over 50 hours - I don't want her to feel like we're kicking her out of the house.

Anybody BTDT? Have tips?

[smeisnotapirate]

[cocoanib]

I haven't dealt with this, but if she's understanding she will be o.k with you taking however long to birth. Just make sure you discuss logistics with her now and talk about everything openly. If I was her, I would really appreciate that from you.

[Belle]

Talk it out with her and especially since she's understanding and supportive of HB she'll get it.

[Astraia]

We had a male room mate when I got pregnant with my daughter. We told him we were planning homebirth and he seemed OK with it at first.... then he moved out. Lucky for us we found out about a month before he intended to leave (he had no plans to tell us) because we couldn't pay rent without him. We ended up needing to break our lease and find somewhere else to live.

We'd been friends with this guy for going on 4 years, had lived with him for 2. Totally a surprise.

I think you REALLY need to have a frank discussion of everything. Tell her you're worried she'll feel like you're kicking her out, you're worried about how she'll deal with a new baby in the house, etc, and make sure you're both on the same page. Surprises can be very unpleasant.

[MsBlack]

Yes, I would have a frank discussion, too--hear her out as needed, be sure to express yourselves assertively and still with care. I think unless I felt 100% comfy with a roommate being at my birth, I'd ask her to please plan to stay elsewhere for the duration--to leave with a few days' worth of stuff, and not come back til you give her the all clear. Sounds like she has at least one option--maybe she could take some time to be sure she has a couple of options for couch surfing if needed. It's not going to be more than 2-3 days at the outside, most likely--and could be only 1-2 *including* a day-after time of privacy and rest for you/family.

I don't think this is unfair or unreasonable at all, especially not since she does already spend a fair amt of time away from home. I would think if you explain things, and ask nicely, that she will either be immediately ok or at least will come around to it soon.