Does anyone have a 15-monthss-old who wants to nurse every 5 minutes day and night?

[trus]

Does anyone have a 15-monthss-old who wants to nurse every 5 minutes day and night? Aslo, he goes from one breast to another every 10 seconds, meaning, 10-second sucking on one side, then on the other, then on the first one, then back to the second one, and it can last for a loooong time, then he leaves me alone for 5 (!!!!) minutes, and then back to the breast again. Hardly wants any solids and I am tired of pushing them down his throat. But i find it very difficult to be at his needs ALL the time! BMilk is his food and water ( doesn't like to drink water or anuthing else). In public now I hae to hae two naked boops hanging because this going from beast to breast thing.... Ans he's always been so fussy while nursingm I wonder why, is my milk hurting him?
On top of that I am dealing with thrush; it's not that bad, but still.

[lisavark]

Oh, mama, sorry; that sounds so frustrating!

My 21 month old DD nurses every two hours round the clock, but not every five minutes. Is this a recent thing? If so then it's probably a growth spurt. Have you tried offering him solids and water first when he asks to nurse? I started that when DD was a year and it took a while--she had NO interest in solids at that age either--but she was hungry, and eventually as I kept offering, she figured out that solid food could actually satisfy hunger too. If I were you, I would keep trying lots of different solids--in the hope of finding something he likes--and offering that first every time he wants to nurse. It sounds to me like he's hungry but hasn't realized that solid food can satisfy hunger. What solids do you give him? Meat was one of the first things my DD started to enjoy.

Oh, and my DD would NOT drink water for a long time. I started giving her a little bit of juice very watered down so it had some flavor, just to get her to drink it. She would drink that. Once she got used to drinking from a cup, I switched back to water (and I still called it "juice" ). Now she drinks plenty of water, and she'll sometimes even accept water as a substitute for milk.

Also, is he with you all the time? If so, can you have someone else watch him for a couple of hours? Sometimes they're more willing to eat solid food if it's offered by someone who isn't mama. Maybe if someone else can get him to eat a solid meal, then he won't be so hungry and will give you more of a break.

Oh, but if this is a really recent thing, it could be illness or teething, especially since he's fussy. If he's fighting an illness, then this could be his body trying to get the antibodies it needs (from your milk) to help him fight the infection. In which case the best thing to do is just let him have as much as he wants until he fights it off. Something to consider...

[yasinsmama]

not a 15 month old, but a 19 month old. When we are at home, or somewhere just sitting, he is constantly on me. And he'll nurse for 5 minutes, get down and play, then come back again. If we are out doing things, I think he doesn't think about it unless he's actually hungry. My mom says he has to have a sip to calm his nerves sometimes.
I never thought to stop him because he is in school part time now, and our schedules are slowly changing, so I think his habits will change also.


From lisavark:
Also, is he with you all the time? If so, can you have someone else watch him for a couple of hours? Sometimes they're more willing to eat solid food if it's offered by someone who isn't mama. Maybe if someone else can get him to eat a solid meal, then he won't be so hungry and will give you more of a break.

This has been our experience.

[Katie T]

I have a 17m that nurses every 15 min. She does it cause she has nothin else to do lol O she has to have both breasts out as well cause she tweeks the otherside. I just enjoy the break to sit & relax. Hope it gets better soon!

[trus]

I don't know who else would watch him. Finding a nanny might be a good idea, but it seems better to me to start taking him to daycare for a couple of hours, say, twice a week. Nobody will feed him there, of course, but I think it would be better for his development to socialize with other children. Both things (nanny and daycare) would be too much for the budget I think.

[D_McG]

To me this sounds like more of a nursing manners issue. I don't allow switching like that and I don't allow nursing that frequently either (can't be hungry every 5 minutes). So it's like a child using a pacifier or whatever which is totally fine if it's working for you but it's clearly not. I would just set limits. No switching. No perma-nursing. at that age I think you could modify the behaviour without too much drama. GL

[Theoretica]

The switching wouldn't bother me as much as the frequency. I'd really encourage you do some 'high energy' and new/fun activities with him. Get out the playdough, paint with pudding, squish jello, that sort of thing to get his hands busy and his mind off of nursing. My 18 mo old did this around 14 mos, maybe a little earlier and I realized it was more because I was allowing it than because it was needed. If all else fails, bundle up and go outside for a walk! Now she's nursing strong about 4-6 times a day (not counting nights) depending on her activity level.

HTH mama, good luck!

[flapjack]

Actually, the whole thing would really bother me because I think you're giving him the idea that other people's feelings are irrelevant and the whole darned world revolves around him: which isn't developmentally appropriate for a 15mo. Put a bra on, say no, and push him to interact with you in ways other than breastfeeding. (I was going to suggest the playground, I see Theoretica beat me to it.)

Given that he's fussy whilst nursing, this behaviour could have caused a fore/hindmilk imbalance- or could actually have caused supply problems, given that he's only on one breast for a few seconds, then a few seconds, then a few seconds. I can't urge you strongly enough to try and get him into the habit of one boob an hour, at least, maybe even longer.

I don't think you need daycare if you're not ready, but it's a good time to get him socialising with other toddlers. What are the local playgroups like?

[trus]

Guys, if i don't give breat, he throws a tantrum and then cries really hard, until consoled by the breast (nothing else consoles him). His tantrums are horrible. Whatever he wants and doesn't get causes him to throw a terrible tantrum.

[trus]

He doesn't sleep at night without constant sucking or nap either. I hae no idea what bothers him, but he naps for about 30 mins alone, then he cries, and I come and have to lay with him so that he could nap. He sucks almost all the time while napping. The same goes for night. He goes to bed, then in about 2 hours wakes up crying, and the only way i found can console him is breast. he wakes up crying and moaning so many times a night, and practically nurses all night long. Guys, I am desperate. i haven't slept in 15 months, I can't do anything around the house because he chases me and winds. I don't know what is bothering him: tummmy, constipation, heartburn, yeast overgrowth that spreade into his esophagus, or something else. I've had thrush on my nipples for a while now, and that hurts. I don't know anymore if my milk causes all the problems, or viceversa, it soothes any inflammation he might have.

[D_McG]

how does he behave if you leave him for a few hours?

[trus]

that hardly ever happens. I'd like to be able to have some time to myself, away from home, but somehow it doesn't happen. Although recently his dad took him to visit relaties twice, and all both times he behaved really well. He is shy and afraid at first, but then he gets distracted and feels good.
To get away from home and problems, i could go to work during the week when my husband is off, but i'd have to wake up at 6 and be at work at 7. I can't imagine how i can do it, if i don't sleep at night and feel so extremely exhausted. My son and I usually wake up around 9. So another problem would be sneaking away from bed at 6 in the mornign without waking DS up.

[trus]

Maybe my son gets the tention from me...i always feel like getting rid of him. I don't want to have negative emotions to him, but he doesn't let me sleep, eat, read, be on the comp, anything

[Dabble]

Is there anybody who can take your son while you take a solid nap? Like within the next day or so? You will be absolutely amazed at how different you feel with a few hours of solid sleep in your brain.

Once you are feeling rested and have a little more energy, you should decide how many times a day is reasonable for him to be nursing. Is he eating regular meals in his high chair each day? At 15 months, he certainly doesn't NEED to be nursing that often, especially if he is getting nutrition from solid foods. You can make a point to sit down and eat while he's in the high chair so you are both getting the nutrition you need.

Also, is he using a sippy cup at this point? It's possible that he could simply be thirsty, and that is why he is asking to nurse so often.

I also agree that his nursing manners could be improved. At his age, he can certainly be asked to lie still at one breast until he is finished, and then move to the other if he is still hungry.

trus, you need to take care of yourself so you can be the best mommy you can be to your son. Setting a basic, non-rigid nursing schedule might just be the start of your solution.

[trus]

My husband is off tomorrow, so I'll try to send them off somewhere so that I could nap, esp, because i'll have to wake up at 6 am tomorrow. I hope that will work and I WILL fall asleep. Sometimes it's hard with so many things going on.

He hated his high chair, so we returned it to the store. I either put him on the counter top and he eats there, or on the floor or sofa. he isn't into solids at all, but might eat a couple of tsp or tbs at a time. If dada feeds him, he chases him around the house and the little one runs away from him; maybe it's like a game for my son. But he hardly eer sits still and eat.

Yes, we have two sippy cups, but if i give them to my son, he sucks for a second, then throws it on the floor and never picks up again. Oftentimes, he refuses one, too. So thy end up laying around the house floor.

How can I make him lie still while nursing? I can't do anything to him because he throws a tantrum, and then i have to console him with breast playing his rules.

yes, I need to take care of myself. i hae lost almost all of my hair, and it keeps falling. I might be pretty close to going bold. And my face is just a puffy wrinklish something)

[trus]

I'd like to have a housekeeper and maybe a nanny, but my husband will never go for it.

Talking to you, guys, i remeber a week fore his 1st birthday, my son turned really calm, he napped for 2 -3 hours without waking. We were in absolute awe. I remeber that I used to just sit with him on the floor a lot that week. Maybe that calmed him down? Or maybe I was giing him a homeopathic then, I can't remeber exactly, or maybe that was something in my diet that was missing and that's why not bothering him. Sooo many questions.

[LAWoman]

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.

15 months was the pinnacle of neediness and exhaustion for us as well. It gets better. I used to joke at that age that my son would have crawled back into my uterus if I'd let him. He was permanantly attached to me every waking and sleeping moment of the day. Now he's 23 months and I marvel every day at how independent and self directed he is. I wouldn't have believed it was possible in those days.

15 months is also when I started instituting some pretty firm limits on day nursing and cut out nursing in public all together. First, since yoru son is not eating many solids or drinking much other than nursing it might be a good idea to just make a doctors appointment and talk to your pediatrician so you can rule out any physiological reasons why your son would have to nurse constantly. But if there aren't any health issues or special needs to consider I'd starts setting some firm limits for your own sanity. Hopefully when he isn't getting as much nutrition from you, he'll start compensating by eating and drinking more.

We talked a lot about how big boys only got mommy's milk at home and how I would nurse him to help him get to sleep but if he was thirsty during the day and he wanted milk he would get milk in a cup. We went to the store and picked out a cute cup with fire trucks on it (his most favorite thing) and that was his special cup which I offered whenever he wanted to nurse but I didn't want to. And then we would distract, distract, distract and redirect at every opportunity. We stayed busy all day every day. Got out of the house and around other kids at every opportunity becuase the more that was going on, the less he was tempted to want to nurse. I didn't sit on the couch with him or in the chair where we usually nursed. I stopped wearing a nursing bra which made it less tempting to just give in during the day. And most importantly, my partner stepped in a lot and sometimes just had to put up with a cranky, annoyed kid. Within a couple of weeks, he had cut back to only asking a few times a day and at bed time.

When he was hurt or sick all bets were off and he nursed on demand, but the rest of the time, I just put my foot down and dealt with occasional tantrum. The short term is hard but the long term benefit of getting your body back a little is worth it. It is okay to set limits. You are not going to harm him by doing that. Unless he has some health issue or special need he doesn't NEED to nurse on demand around the clock, he just wants to. It's okay to say no. It's okay if he cries and tantrums a bit. He'll survive a few tantrums and so will you. Hang in there mama. It gets easier.

[Delicateflower]

I've BTDT too. I absolutely had to set limits for my own sanity. It's just like everything else with children, IMO. When they're a newborn, they get everything they want, instantly, without question. He's older now, you get a say in it.

I can't do anything to him because he throws a tantrum, and then i have to console him with breast playing his rules.

Do you really? When I set limits with my children about anything, from climbing onto the stove to nipple twiddling to hitting other children, they do get upset, and so I comfort them, hug them, love on them, empathise with them. But I don't turn around and allow them to climb on the stove or twiddle my nipple or hit another child simply because they are upset. Being upset or frustrated and learning how to deal with that is part of growing up, and you can help them do it. It's OK for him to be upset, especially with you there helping him.

I think he's not eating because he's not hungry, he's full of milk.

[Dabble]

Originally Posted by Delicateflower

I think he's not eating because he's not hungry, he's full of milk.

This is what I'm thinking too.

trus, you said you took his highchair back... do you have a booster chair or something for him to eat at the table? Once you get a more consistent nursing schedule started, you can set him up in his chair and offer him yummy foods to get him interested. Let him spoon it himself to keep him interested in the novelty, and don't worry about the mess! This is all part of him gaining independence and confidence in his own skills.

Do you have an idea of what your ideal nursing schedule would look like? As in, how many times he would nurse per day, how many solid meals he would be offered? You're going to need to get that straight in your head (and maybe even written down on paper) so you can stick close to it and feel confident in the decisions you've made. It will likely be a difficult first week or so, as he learns the new rules, but I think it will be a good change for both of you.

The messing around at the breast - switching sides and not lying still, are also possible indicators that he is not genuinely hungry when he comes to you. If he were nursing to fill his belly, he would be a lot more down to business, intent on getting that milk into his belly.

Do you need help figuring out a possible schedule, or do you have an idea of what you want to do? The ladies here are awesome at giving you an idea of what is typical for his age, and of course you can modify for you and your child's needs.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

both my sons were like this from about 12 months - 18months, they were constantly nursing, literally every 5 - 10 minutes, even if it was for just 10 seconds, I couldn't go anywhere, do anything, even to pee they would cry or follow me in the bathroom.

I feel for you mama, it's a phase though and it will pass