My brother and his partner got engaged last Christmas. And they are planning to get married in Iowa this coming summer. DB just told our parents about the engagement this weekend. They knew he was gay and that he was in a relationship with someone, and they like his partner. But they are being weird about them getting married. First of all, DB and his partner will be home for Christmas and that's when DB was planning on coming out to the extended family. Our parents have discouraged him from doing that because they don't want to ruin anyone's Christmas I personally think this is really disresprectful of my brother and his partner. I mean, when I got engaged, nobody discouraged me from introducing my fiance for what he was. Second of all, they are making this issue out of the word marriage. They don't want to use the word married, and couldn't seem to wrap their brains around what exactly that means for my brother simply because it's same-sex. Now I love my brother and his partner is really great! I support them completely. I'm hoping that this is going to be like when DB came out to our parents and they were weird about it at first. Not hateful and the didn't behave in some of the atrocious ways that you hear about. But they were definitely weird about it. It was kind of like the elephant in the room that you just didn't talk about. But after a while, they eased up and got to be pretty good about it. Not great... they didn't join Pflag or anything, but they have been very kind to both DB and his partner. I'm hoping it will be similar with this. In that they'll be weird about it at first, but then later they'll be okay with it. Our family is very close and DB really values his relationship with them. I really want to encourage their support of him, and I really want to do everything I can to support him myself. But I also don't want to be too pushy. It guess it just makes me really sad for my brother that our parents won't just be for him the way they were for me when I got engaged and married.
post #1 of 7
11/24/09 at 9:32am