Sick, overwhelmed mama wants to CD - reality check, pep talk, suggestions?

[zazenist]

Hi wise mamas: DD (my first LO) will be 6 weeks on Thursday, and despite a big philosophical interest in CD and a chunk of change invested in a stash, she has yet to spend more than a few days in CDs. I have some chronic health issues that have made bouncing back from delivery and coping with the exhaustion of new parenthood a little tougher. Add to that the fact that I'm having some minor breastfeeding challenges which are taking a lot of energy as well as trying to deal with the consequence of those challenges - a very fussy, often full-on screaming babe... It takes so much longer to change her with a CD, then the diaper has to be changed a bit more often, and every time the dipe gets changed we have to strip her and switch out her whole outfit because of a leak, blowout, what have you. It's SO. FREAKING. EXHAUSTING. And that's not even counting the rinsing of the dipe before it's pailed, the laundry, etc. I am not sure anymore that I want to do this, or that I can. DH is supportive and very helpful, but he works a lot and so the responsibility of all this falls on me much of the time.

Any suggestions, moral support, advice? We've got prefolds, Thirsties, and Imse Vimses for nighttime - is there a simpler system, like, would AIOs be easier, that kind of thing? I'm open to suggestions of things to try since I would really like to CD, but if I have to give up one of my "ideals" because it's too exhausting, I'd rather go the sposie route than cut corners that might threaten my BFing relationship with DD. We're at least trying to use "kinder" sposies - Nature BabyCare, FWIW.

Thanks in advance.

[odoole]

Defininitely take care of you and your LO before worrying about diapers. Please don't allow yourself to feel guilty about that. The good thing about cloth diapering is that you can switch to it at any point along the way. It's not like so many other things in baby rearing where if you miss your window of opportunity, it's gone forever.

That said, I'm surprised you're having so many leaking/ blow-out issues with CD. The times we've put my son in disposables, it's always been WAAAY worse. Maybe we were using the wrong brands of 'sposies or something, but I've always had better luck with cloth diapers.

I'm at home alone with my son much of the day as well. Think about ways in which you can eliminate some of the steps you're listing here. There's nothing wrong with setting the diapers aside for the day and waiting until you or your husband has a bit of time to rinse them all at once. Or better yet, use a wet pail. I know that's kind of out of fashion lately, but it's super easy to just toss it directly in there when you take the diaper off. Doing that will also eliminate the cold rinse cycle when you go to wash them.

Is washing taking a lot of time for you? I know that for me was the part that was toughest initially -- it took a while until I had a routine that worked and was relatively effortless.

Also, once you start CDing more often, it really shouldn't take longer to change a cloth diaper compared to disposables. We use prefolds and Thirsties as well. Are you folding them into thirds and placing them in the cover, or are you pinning them to your baby and placing the cover on top? We've done it both ways, but now that DS is bigger, we do it the folding into thirds way more often. I think that's a bit quicker. Plus, you could theoretically prepare a bunch of those in advance in order to make the diaper changing time even faster. (We also use fuzzibunz pocket diapers, with you just snap on. You could also prepare those well in advance, and I've noticed that the stains come out of those easier than the prefolds. We bought an entire set used, so it wasn't much of an investment.)

My son has never been a screamer, so I can't really relate there, but he did has some reflux and gassiness problems early on that made him very unhappy on his back. Is that the same with your daughter? If so, all I can say is that will get better as she gets older and as you work through your breasfeeding issues with her.

In terms of diapering an unhappy baby, we have learned to always wait until after he's been fed to change him, becuase he has 0 patience and tolerance for lying on his back when he's cranky and hungry. Even if he's soaking wet, we just wrap a receiving blanket around him and feed him -- it won't kill him to be wet for a little longer.

Do you have a mobile above your changing table? We have a cheapo one that came with the changing station, and I swear, changing time has become DS's favorite time of day because of that thing. He didn't pay attention to it right away, but when he got a bit older, he couldn't stop looking at the thing. He loves it! Recently he's learned how to kick the little teddy bears with surprising accuracy. It's so much fun for him!

Well, I'll stop there. Just wanted to encourage you to do whatever is easiest and least stressful for you and help you brainstorm ways to make the CDing process a bit easier if you do want to go that route. I hope you start feeling better real soon!

[Bokonon]

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.

I would recommend getting a few different kinds to try them out - AIOs, pockets, maybe a fitted since you already have covers. See what you like before laying out a big investment. I love my pocket diapers because I can customize the absorbancy with different inserts, but you may prefer AIOs because you don't have to stuff them.

Good luck and I hope things get easier for you soon!

[funkymamajoy]

I would concentrate on breastfeeding first. In the long run, its more important.

When you're ready, here's some tips to make cloth easier:
1. you don't need to rinse the diapers, just throw them in the pail.
2. if you're having blowouts, then either the diaper or the cover doesn't fit or, prefolds mostly, isn't on right. Are the blowouts in the back or the legs?
3. AIOs might be easier.
4. Try to simplify your washing routine. I set the washer on a long cycle with an extra rinse and walk away. Diapers don't really need to be folded and stacked neatly. Mine are often stored in the dryer; if they get put away, its in a basket in the living room.

[fruitfulmomma]

Pretty much what all the other ladies said. I don't ever rinse diapers. Especially with a bf'ed baby this young the washer will do all the work for you.

Often when a baby is fighting a change and wanting to eat, I might just clean her up and throw a large prefold under her bum while she is eating. Then we get back into a clean diaper when she is more content.

And do concentrate on your bf'ing. That is much more important in the long run. I didn't switch to cloth until my 3rd was about 4mo and neither her nor the older children seem worse off.

[mambera]

Originally Posted by funkymamajoy

I would concentrate on breastfeeding first. In the long run, its more important.

This. We had bf'ing issues, and back-to-work issues, and used sposies until babe was 4 mo old, at which point I felt I had the time and energy to put into getting a CD system going.

I love my CDs now - easier than sposies in a lot of ways (throwing in a load of wash is so much easier than taking out a stinky bag) - but I don't regret spending the early months on more important stuff.

Re your post:

1) I did not rinse bf poo by hand. I just ran a cold prerinse without detergent. It's all going the same place y'know.

2) Nature Babycare are horrible diapers - they never stay shut and leak like mad. I'm surprised your CDs leak more than these. Something must be wrong.

3) Only bc you asked for a suggestion, and bc I love these dipes so much, I will say that I *love* the Softbums. They are easy to put on, truly one-size, truly perfect-fit AI2 diapers. Easier in the dryer than an AIO but no harder to put on. If you are going to go out and buy "hyena" diapers anyway (I always sense some condescension from the prefold crowd about these), consider a Softbum.

[zazenist]

Haven't been on in a long time - just wanted to drop back in and say thanks for all the replies and support. We're still using sposies, but keeping it open for change at some point if I feel like I can take it on. I also plan to look into some AIOs... that does sound a bit easier.

Thanks again - you all are great.