Using Hypnobabies and when to call the MW/go to the hospital

[mrsfrenchy]

I'm planning on using Hypnobabies this time around and will be having a homebirth. My first birth was only 9ish hours long (and the first two hours were just like "oh we're having a baby tonight!!", nothing serious about the contractions).

So my fear this time is that with luck, the Hypnobabies will really work....but then I won't realize how far along I am until I start wanting to push--and then the MW won't be there yet. Last time, I thought that I was only at 4-5 cm when the MW got there, but I was really at 8cm.

So if I never get to a phase of labor where I'm really having to work hard through the contractions, how will I know when to call the MW? I hemmoraged last time and am not prepared to UC.

Hope this question makes sense.
Thanks!

[ExuberantDaffodil]

Hate to "scare" you... .... but this is totally what happened to me. I called my midwife around 3am, and she didn't think I "sounded like" I was in hard enough labor. She went back to bed to wait for another phone call... which came from my mother at 3:50 saying, "MY DAUGHTER IS PUSHING. WHERE ARE YOU?" Babe was born a few minutes later, without midwife. Good times.

[Sudonk]

With a homebirth, definitely talk to your midwife about it. I have no doubt you will know when you're ready to have her with you, but you need to make sure she understands that you may not "sound" like a woman who needs her, so she needs to trust your instincts. My midwife had Hypnobabies experience, so all I had to do was call and tell her birthing waves had begun, and she was on her way. Another way to handle it is to have your DH or other support person call and make it clear that you need her there, rather than talk to her yourself.

Even a very comfortable birth will generally feel increasingly intense, so you will know you are making progress!

[mrsfrenchy]

Originally Posted by Sudonk

With a homebirth, definitely talk to your midwife about it. I have no doubt you will know when you're ready to have her with you, but you need to make sure she understands that you may not "sound" like a woman who needs her, so she needs to trust your instincts. My midwife had Hypnobabies experience, so all I had to do was call and tell her birthing waves had begun, and she was on her way. Another way to handle it is to have your DH or other support person call and make it clear that you need her there, rather than talk to her yourself.

Even a very comfortable birth will generally feel increasingly intense, so you will know you are making progress!

This is my issue. My mw has only seen people use hypnobirthing, not hypnobabies and is fairly skeptical of its effectiveness. I'm not really worried about her skepticalness affecting my birth because she's pretty hands off (and I'm not one who wants a lot of attention during labor), I'm just worried about her believing I'm far enough into labor. Last time my DH was the one who called her though (I was already in early transition and really not in a place to talk on the phone), so hopefully that approach will work again.

Your last comment is what I'm looking to hear though--that I will know that I'm progressing pretty far despite the fact that its more comfortable than my last labor.

[callieollie]

This was my exact fear with Hypnobabies. I was birthing at a birth center over an hour away and was afraid I wouldn't be uncomfortable enough to know that I needed to go. The mw told me to come when they were 8 minutes apart since I had so far to drive and I might go fast with the hypnobabies (in spite of my first labor being 28 hours long). When we called, I did not sound like I was in labor at all (because I was totally comfortable) but because my contractions were 2 minutes apart, she told me to come in. I just woke up with them 2-3 minutes apart so I skipped right past the 8 minutes apart thing! After an hour of pressure waves and feeling fine, I woke dh up to let him know waht was going on and he called the mw. I actually told him not to because I was feeling fine but I'm glad I didn't listen. I probably would not have called the mw if it were my choice until an hour after we did, which would have meant we would have arrived at the birth center 30 minutes AFTER having the baby! So for me, I really didn't know "this is it" until I got to the birth center and found out I was 6 cm. 30 minutes later my daughter was born!

[Veritaserum]

I just called my midwife when I felt like I wanted her to be there. With my first hypnosis birth I could tell she was reluctant to come (it was 1:30 am) so I gave her what she wanted to hear (I was totally comfortable). I knew it was time. Baby was born two hours after she arrived.

[Sudonk]

Originally Posted by mrsfrenchy

Your last comment is what I'm looking to hear though--that I will know that I'm progressing pretty far despite the fact that its more comfortable than my last labor.

It's hard to explain, but in my experience, most women will find a way to get what they need, even if they don't admit to themselves that things are progressing as quickly as they think. For instance, I have had several students who came up with weird twists of logic to convince themselves to stop by their birth center/ OB's office, etc. only to find out that they're 6 or 7 cm along. One first time mom was convinced she had 12 or more hours to go, but didn't want to deal with traffic, so she decided to go to her birth center at 6 am. She was fully dilated on arrival. Another mom just thought she was a little crampy, but found herself inexplicity deciding to drive right past work to go visit someone she knew who was in the hospital where she planned to birth. After visiting for a few minutes, she decided to stop by L&D, "since she was right there". She had her baby 2 hours later. It's amazing how often a woman's subconscious mind will create a scenario that gets her to where she needs to be - or in the case of a homebirth, prompts a call to the midwife for slightly odd reasons. There are occassional cases where a woman may find herself having her baby before having her caregiver with her or before arriving where she plans to birth, but often that has to do with the advice of birth partners or caregivers who hear her saying, "It's time" and think she's fooling herself. Women who really want the caregiver there or who have someplace to go will generally accomplish that if their instincts are trusted by their birth partners and themselves. There are exceptions to that, of course, but that is true with non-Hypnobabies births as well.

One thing that can help is to give yourself permission to be wrong. What's the worst that can happen? Your midwife comes, checks things out and decides to go putter around somewhere else for awhile. That's part of her job, and being "on call" for several weeks is a big part of the job. My midwife was very cool about saying she has no problem with that, and would rather get a call that leads to nothing than not get a call that would have gotten her there at a better time. If you really let yourself be OK with possibly calling early on and maybe finding out that you're not as far along as you thought, you'll be more likely to listen to the updates from your body and trust them.

[Spark]

Originally Posted by Sudonk

It's hard to explain, but in my experience, most women will find a way to get what they need, even if they don't admit to themselves that things are progressing as quickly as they think.

Yes, that's quite true it seems. With my 3rd baby, we thought the MW should stop by to check the baby's position because labor just didn't seem to be starting... I was contracting, but I was sure it wasn't actual labor. The MW arrived 30 minutes before the baby was born.

[Lilcrunchie]

This happened to me as well LOL. It all worked out though

I used Hypnobirthing (Mongan) for my first birth. My first sign of labor was my water breaking, followed by contractions that were 5 mins apart immediately. They were very tolerable though and I could totally talk through them. My midwives had me come in (I was delivering at a hospital) because I was already 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced a few days prior, and I had a 40 minute hospital drive. We left pretty much ASAP, and when I showed up I was 5 cm. I had a 6 hour 20 minute labor from water breaking to baby in arms. Had I not been fairly dilated in advance and had the long ride to the hospital, I'm not sure if they would have had me come in so soon because I could totally talk through contractions through 95% of my labor.

With my 2nd (used Hypnobabies supplementary course that time around), I wasn't even sure I was in active labor. Called the midwife (not the same practice, delivering at a freestanding birth center that time around) and she wasn't sure either since I was calm and could talk right through them. The funny thing is that prior to that labor, I even kind of pointed out that I was able to talk through all of my contractions with my first labor, etc. We were really on the fence about whether I should go in. We decided I would. On the way there contractions were a bit intense. I was hoping I was in active labor. Showed up, got checked, and was 10 cm LOL. I had NOOOOO idea. Most of my labor was spent waiting to feel "pushy" as my membranes were still intact, etc. so I just hung out. That labor was about 3 hours from start to finish.

I'm pg with #3 and curious how it will go this time around. The midwife who delivered my 2nd child just was joking about how 3rd babies are notoriously tough to predict how labor will go and that she wouldn't be suprised if I had a 6 or 8 hour labor. The other half of me is thinking it could go really fast. Obviously you never know in advance regardless (first baby or 3rd). I'm already thinking about how to remind them that when talking to me by phone, me being able to talk through contractions isn't the best indicator of whether I'm in active labor or not.

Oh, and with DS, transition was kinda noticeable. I felt hot and a little shaky. TOtally tolerable, but it was definitely transition. I never noticed those same sensations with my 2nd labor.

[Natsuki]

I did hypnobabies with my last birth (homebirth). My midwife had us call her when contractions were consistently coming 3 minutes apart, lasting 60+ seconds each, happening regularly for over an hour (or something like that, can't remember exactly). Won't your partner be able to monitor that and that would be what the midwife uses to know when to come?

[xelakann]

Originally Posted by Natsuki

I did hypnobabies with my last birth (homebirth). My midwife had us call her when contractions were consistently coming 3 minutes apart, lasting 60+ seconds each, happening regularly for over an hour (or something like that, can't remember exactly). Won't your partner be able to monitor that and that would be what the midwife uses to know when to come?

Yep this was me. I called my mw's and told them how long they were lasting and how far apart they were but I also told them that I wasn't even remotely in pain. They never got painful and I had and truly transformative birth (my first was really rough).

p.s. I was still really calm and relaxed when they came over (about 30 mins after I called) and they could tell it was the real deal and baby Mabel came just over an hour after they got there.