how can I put LO down to sleep?

[LilaQ]

My 11 wks old baby screams if i attempt to put him down to sleep while he's still awake. He wants to sleep in my arms or the swing. He sleeps fine if he's completely asleep when I put him down but I really want him to learn to fall asleep on his own.

Is this something he will grow out of or do I need to do something?? I would appreciate suggestions. thanks!

[Kelly1101]

Mine is 7 months old, and I still rock her to sleep. Every once in a while, if she's laying on the bed while I'm walking around the room doing laundry or something, she'll get sucking on her thumb and put herself out for a nap, but that's rare. She would cry if I just put her down to go to sleep on her own, definitely.

I'd say, at 11 weeks, don't worry about having him learn to go to sleep on his own yet. He's still too new in the world and doesn't have the coping mechanism to wind himself down like that. It could change-- in my mom's experience, I always put myself to sleep, but my brother and sister didn't until they were toddlers. But I wouldn't force it this early... wait until at least 4 months.

[lifeguard]

Seriously at 11 weeks it is much too soon about worrying about giving dc 'bad' habits. I wish I had just totally relaxed about that sort of thing until at least 6 months with ds. I caused both of us unnecessary stress.

[liliaceae]

I would definitely wait on trying to get him to fall asleep on his own, he's much too young.

[LilaQ]

But all the books say otherwise, even the NCSS!! LOL

I just need to be reassured that I'm not ruining him.

[LadyCatherine185]

Some babies can be put down awake, some cannot. In NCSS, it says to put down drowsy, almost asleep, but not completely asleep..... But the entire book is pretty much written to teach parents a step-by-step many month long process of getting their LO to go to sleep on their own, because for most babies it does not happen.

Stop reading sleep books, follow your baby's lead. Those books will drive you crazy. I suggest maybe a Dr. Sears book of some kind if you want an AP geared sleep book.

Your LO will learn how to fall asleep on their own in time. For most babies this takes years.

[dislocator3972]

I was worried about the same thing and then last week DD started putting herself to sleep completely on her own. She'll be 13 weeks old tomorrow.

So maybe it's right around the corner!

DD always liked playing on her playmat (as long as one of us was with her) and then last week she just rolled onto her side and went to sleep. A few days later she was swinging and talking to me while I sewed and I looked up to see why she'd stopped babbling and she'd just gone to sleep. She's done it every day since. It happened that way for a friend of mine too. Baby needed a ton of help getting to sleep every time until suddenly she didn't.

You're definitely not ruining her. You're giving her exactly what she needs and that's setting her up to be completely successful on her own. And that includes going to sleep. She'll get it, and you'll know in the next few months if she's CAPABLE but doesn't know how. Then pull out the books.

Enjoy the extra cuddles for a few more weeks/months!

[BlueWolf]

It will just come someday at some totally random time. Don't worry, you cannot ruin your baby. My DD is 4.5 months now and she puts herself to sleep but this wasn't always the story. I used to have to nurse her to sleep. Now it's easy peasy to get her into bed and if she wakes up for a feeding at night, she'll even put herself back to sleep. DD will also babble herself to sleep, it's really cute.

[library lady]

My 2.5 year old still needs to be nursed or held to sleep a lot of the time and so does my 10 month old. In the grand scheme of things, 11 weeks old is still really tiny. I don't think I would worry about it. You have our permission to hold your baby and rock your baby to sleep for as long as you want. My 5 year and my 8 year old can put themselves to sleep so there is proof that helping them to sleep until they are 2 or 3 is not going to ruin them or spoil them.

[beautifulboy]

Originally Posted by LilaQ

But all the books say otherwise, even the NCSS!! LOL
I just need to be reassured that I'm not ruining him.

My advice is to stop reading the books for a while and just listen to your babe. Some babies may sleep through the night from day one, love to sleep alone and love to hang out alone when they're awake...but that wasn't the case with my babe and it may not be the case with yours. IMO 11 wks is really really young to be worrying about this, just rock your baby to sleep and then get some mama time for yourself and don't worry about this stuff too much, eventually your babe will be more independent.

[Michigan Mama]

I agree. He'll figure it out on his own as he gets older. And if he doesn't, you can help him with it later.

I'm just shocked at how different every kid is. my ds1 has always had a hard time napping, with me or otherwise. Ds2 is much more laid back, will go to sleep better alone than when being held, actually. It's interesting!

[Louisep]

All babies are different. Some are easy to put down, some not. I held my DS for naps until we got the Amby hammock at 3.5 months (but I still had to put him in it asleep). Then we stopped using the hammock at 5 months and I had to walk him in a carrier to sleep and lie down with him on the bed. At 9.5 months I no longer had to put him in a carrier and could just lie down next to him and he'd fall asleep. I think he just needed time to get to this point and there's no way I could have forced the issue earlier.

[Just1More]

Another vote for "just hold him." I often say to people, "What makes you think this is for him?!?" I only get a year or two to hold this baby...it's for ME. He can learn to sleep on his own when I'm done holding him, lol.

[Anna's Lovey]

My lo is eighteen months old and the only way she'll fall asleep is at the breast in bed with me. I've never once worried that I'm spoiling her.