If you had PPD the first time...

[njkarin]

So my son is 16 months old now and I'm starting to get that "itch" to have another baby. Every time I see a little baby I start thinking about how I want to have another one, but...

I had PPD the first time around and while it was not extremely severe, it was still PPD and was awful enough for me to go on meds. In my head, I know how hard it was for all of us the first time around and that is the thing that makes me stop and say, "Wait, do I really want to go through that again?" But my heart really wants to start trying in the next year for a younger sibling for my son. Maybe it's because we are far enough removed that I am forgetting how hard it was.

If you had PPD with your first child, did you have these same kinds of thoughts when you were thinking about getting pregnant again? How did you handle it? I know it is not a guarantee that you will get PPD again, but it is something I am nervous about.

[nikirj]

I had PPD pretty bad the first time.

So we made all sorts of plans while I was pregnant with my second, including making sure DH was available for lots of leave, planning to go on meds earlier if I needed it, making lots of help available...and then I felt fantastic, and didn't need any of it.

I hope that will be true for you. But I don't regret planning for the worst, not at all; feeling good wasn't the expectation, so it was a pleasant surprise, and I would have had a lot of options had I needed them.

[LemonPie]

I actually had a pretty bad case of it with my second baby. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back now I can see that it should have been treated long before it was. I felt like I was in a fog for about 18 months after she was born.

After my 3rd baby, however, I felt waaaay better. It's almost like she 'reset' something for me.

[DoulaLMT]

I'm kind of in the same boat, except I don't have the "itch," DH does. I had pretty bad PPD the first time around, and even though DS is almost 2, I'm still not excited about TTC again. I had a hard time thinking clearly when I had PPD, so the way I'm handling it is to make a plan now while my head is clear.

[MamaArty]

My son is 19 months old, and I had ppd badly with him. It's really just gone away in the last few months. I too have recently started thinking about #2 (though it probably won't happen for quite a while) and I'm also worried about how it will go next time around. Like DoulaLMT I'm also making plans now on how to deal with it before it happens.

[GriffsKat]

I had it bad with the first and even worse with the second. I did not get help with the first but did (drugs) with the second. Would I trade my son for a sane free time period? No.

That being said I will not willingly get pregnant again. All because of PPD. I will not go through that again. Pregnancy is one of the easiest things for me, but it's the 'fourth' trimester that does me in.

I guess I thought that I would have one more, after my first, to see how it went, that and I wanted another child. I got my wish. But I won't do it again.

I did have a game plan in place. But it didn't work. I just flipped out.

[MiracleMama]

I had it mild with my first and worse with my second...what made it worse the second time around was that I had horrible anxiety on top of the depression. I didn't need meds after my first but did with my second.
That being said, I am expecting number 3. I'm scared of the depression again, really scared, but my desire to complete our family was/is stronger than that fear.
There is no guarantee either way. I'm trying to prevent it by already seeing a counselour who I will continue to see after the birth. The two other times I waited until it got really bad before seeing someone. I am hoping this will make a difference but of course, you never know...

[yogachick79]

I've had it with varying degrees of severity with each child. With my first I didn't know what I was going through and did it alone. With my second, I had some help but not a ton, and with my third I made sure that I was prepped and ready. My docs knew of the history (severe PPA and bad PPD) and were ready to give me meds in my last trimester if needed.

Even knowing the risks and my history, the desire to have more children outweighed the fear of what could come (and it did, and was very hard but I don't regret for a second). It's just something that you have to make a plan for and figure out your specific needs.

[AllyRae]

I had PDD with DS1, severe PPD with PTSD with DS2 (who passed away at birth) and then with DD2 (DD1 is adopted), I had absolutely no PPD at all.

I was terrified of PPD with DD2...I'm not sure if it was the fact I had her girl hormones in me and not boy hormones, or what, but I didn't get any PPD at all.

[Aufilia]

I had PPD with my first (mostly anxiety, rather than depression). It was pretty severe immediately in that I could not sleep right away and just kept being mostly unable to sleep until by 3 or 4 weeks I was a total wreck. I ended up taking clonazapham for a week and Zoloft for 6 months.

This time I got a prescription for Zoloft before I gave birth with the intention of starting it right away. Then I couldn't find the prescription when I needed it, of course, and by day 2 I wasn't sleeping. I started Zoloft and clonazapham at 3 days PP and upped the Zoloft dosage at 3.5 weeks. We also hired a postpartum doula because DH just started a new job and had no days off, and "being alone" was a big anxiety point for me. I also made sure to get out of the house sooner and started going to a postpartum mood disorder therapy group right away.

Anyhow, all-in-all, my experience has been much better this time. Knowing what to expect and being prepared really helped. I had a couple gloomy weeks but NOTHING like the first time. I told my DH I can tell I'm much better because this time I actually have the ability to appreciate stuff like the funny little noises DS makes when he nurses or how cute he is when he's sleeping... with DD, I was too busy crying all the time to notice or care.

[SuzyLee]

I am starting 25 mg of zoloft a month before my due date, so that it is in my system when I give birth. I would say my PPD was moderate with #1. When I started zoloft with #1 it made a huge difference. So I am hoping that having a very low dose of it in my system already will prevent me from getting any worse, but if so, I will know to call right away and stay on top of it.