Unexpectedly dreading upcoming labor ... advice?

[HappyTomato]

I didn't expect feeling this way at all. This is my third baby and my first chance at a natural, non-induced labor. I had severe pre-e with both of my other two babies. This pregnancy is going so well though. I'm 37 weeks and woke up the other night with a painful contraction and in my groggy state of mind I just said to myself that I couldn't do it again. I couldn't go through the pain I experienced with my 2nd baby which was a cytotec and pit induced labor that was crazy hard. I endured until 7cm then got the epidural. All along I have felt confident that I could do it again, especially if I could avoid the induction. Just two weeks ago I was so excited to discuss with my OB my plan to wait on baby and go into labor on my own. He is supportive as long as my BP behaves. But now I'm starting to feel dread about going into labor and just don't want to do it because I can't handle the pain. How do I get into the right mindset for this birth? I feel sort of fragile emotionally. I didn't think I had any left over emotional junk from my last birth. I thought it went rather well considering the circumstances. Why now? I'm also dealing with some grief at the moment due to losing a family member so that's not helping. I feel like though if I don't get into the right frame of mind, this baby will either never come (ha!) or I'll end up with a cascade of interventions and lose the best chance I've ever had at a natural birth. Do any of you have any advice? TIA

[Plaid Leopard]

My condolences for your loss.

I remember having an "OH NO what was I thinking I can't go through that again!" moment shortly before my 4th baby was due. Everything turned out fine.

I'm sure you know this deep down - but a natural labor will be nothing like an induced and augmented one.

It may be painful, but you will be able to get into your own space to cope with the pain. If you are not hooked up to monitors then you will be able to move, change postions, get in the shower, whatever helps you.

Try to spend the next couple of weeks focusing on how you want the labor to go. Picture yourself giving birth easily, imagine what positions you might labor in, how the baby is going to come out. Address your fears but don't let them take over.

Sending you happy, healthy end-of-pregnancy vibes and wishes for a peaceful birth!

[Mama_2_Boy]

I am due with my second (any day now I am praying). My first was natural, 15 hrs of hard labor and 2 1/2 hrs of pushing. Lots of pain involved in the last 5 hrs. This time around I took up the hypno birthing. I've also had lengthy discussion with my MW about my last experience and going into this one. She had been very persistent about telling me that I had to let go...that this one WILL be different and beautiful. At the end of the day, we all get through it and the prize is what we have to focus on, that being our beautiful new child! I have faith in the hypno birthing as I've watched several videos on youtube of women who used this method with great results. As well, after reading the literature and studying the hypno birthing I now believe that 99% of the labor really is about me and my mindset, trusting my body and not 'fearing' what will come. Fear played a really strong role in my prior birth and made the experience that much more difficult.

Good luck to you.

[HappyTomato]

Thanks mamas! I like the idea of visualizing how I want it to go. That is a good starting point so I tried some last night before bed. I should probably revisit some of the good youtube vids too. I guess a large part of me never thought that I would get to this point where I would be needing to prepare for a natual labor so I haven't prepared at all! It was such a disappointment last pregnancy after I planned a homebirth but got stuck on bedrest at 32 weeks with severe pre-e. I guess I just believed after that experience that my body would repeat the same thing this time too. Your posts have encouraged me so thanks again!

[GoldmanBaby09]

Have you read "Birthing From Within"? I think you might find that book very helpful.

Keep in mind, too, that induced labors are waaaay harder than natural ones. Your body wasn't prepared to labor on its own the last time and the pit makes contractions much harder than natural ones. And I would definitely discourage any use of Cytotec. The off label use of that drug can be very dangerous and I'm glad nothing happened to you last time.

The best advice I can offer is not to think about how long and hard the whole labor might be. I also did hypnobirthing and found it was easier to only focus on the contraction that was happening at the time. If you focus your energy in little bits, it seemed like it was easier than agonizing over the long haul. Just remind yourself that each contraction will pass, and your natural birthing body will never give you more than you can physically handle. Good luck and happy birthing!

[mamabutterfly]

I found myself briefly dreading my second labor (for different reasons - I'd been a doula at so many births that I remembered all too well the hard work, intensity, etc)... BUT it helped so much to pick a few things that I could really look forward to about being "queen for a day," as I like to think of a laboring mom. Do you have some labor support, DH and/or someone else, who can really pamper you that day? I loved focusing on the anticipated foot rubs, music I'd picked, showers & baths in early labor, warm nurturing from my doula friend, and back rubs. The contractions are what they are - they bring the baby and they are really intense. But then they end. Natural ones are totally different that medically induced ones. And with the hormones of natural labor your sense of well being may be really different too. Plus you can start at home. And afterwards you can feel like a million bucks if in fact you can avoid the pre-e (and maybe mag sulfate if you had that before?).

You can do it!! Good luck, mama!