Tandeming, toddler, limits, engorgement - how to balance it all

[kcparker]

So, I am one of those lucky ladies who could be wetnurse to a small village - I have lots of milk. I did have my toddler on a nice, manageable, 3 set times per day briedf check-in nursing schedule while I was pregnant, but now a week after the birth of the new baby, the milk is FLOWING and I spend a lot of the day feeling uncomfortably full.

My question for you experienced tandem nursers is: am I totally shooting myself in the foot (or the boobs) by having the toddler nurse outside his schedule to relieve my engorgement? He LOVES to nurse, and I have only 12 weeks off work, so I don't want him to be too used to mama being at home and on-call. Plus every time he sees baby nursing, I get, "I WANT A NURSE!!!" So, I could nurse him, but it feels like I should keep those limits in place, partly for consistency, partly for my own sanity, but boy, it would be nice not to have super full boobs (but I also realize that the more I nurse, the more milk I will make, and maybe nursing a lot is going to contribute to the full boobs problem more than solve it.).

Anyway, I am still sort of birth-addled and just not sure what to do, so advice on what has worked from other milk-rich mamas and demanding toddler fans of the booby would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance for any sage wisdom you have to offer!

[kcparker]

Does nobody have wisdom about this? We are finding our way - day 12 postpartum, I am less engorged, and DS1 is chilling out a bit with the "I WANT A NURSE. RIGHT. NOW." routine. As with all things, I guess it all shakes out in time.

[jillmamma]

DS was 2.75 when DD was born, and we had the same thing...he had his "schedule" when I was pg, but after she was born and lots of milk, well, that went out the window for awhile. In the beginning, like you, I did let him nurse more often, partly to relieve ME, partly because I was just plain tired and letting him nurse was easier than setting limits. After the first few weeks and I was no longer sore from birth and getting a bit more sleep, I started enforcing more limits. I did it by telling him, "not now" but "right after xxx (lunch, nap, we play outside for a bit, etc.), and also trying to keep him busy a lot (play outside, read a lot of books, watch movies , play cars/trains/blocks with him, art projects if I had the energy, etc.). Also having daddy do more with him when he was home evenings and weekends helped.

So I say you are doing great! Since you have the 12 weeks, give yourself a few weeks to heal from birth and adjust to being a mom of 2 (helps your older one adjust too), then you can start gently setting limits again. Not sure what your child care situation is while you are at work, but maybe you could start your older one part time a week or two before you go back to help him readjust back to that schedule. That also would help him get used to not having milk right there all day available again. I found that my kids at 2 and 3 would nurse a LOT less if I was out and about with them and they were busy, so you probably won't have too many issues once he starts back at daycare.

Congratulations on your new arrival and good luck to you!