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Originally Posted by choli
 That was the sense that I got from the original post - that this was a solution. I think that perhaps Blazer, you and myself are the only ones who see it that way because we are the only ones who have personal experience of the problem either with ourselves or our kids.
Bald spots are a lot more unattractive, humiliating and hard to explain than a buzz cut. I speak from hard experience. |
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Originally Posted by Cherry Alive
I have Trichotillomania and Dermatillomania to the point of having bald spots and scars, and I'd NEVER do to my child what the OP described. My OCD is anxiety related so whenever folks tried to pull that kind of sh*t on me as a kid, it made things a lot worse. Best things that helped me is when I stopped consuming all aspartame and also cognitive therapy.
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Originally Posted by choli
It's interesting that you found the cognitive therapy helpful, it wasn't really much help for me, nor were any of the medications I've tried. Are you in remission now? Maybe I should give the therapy another shot.
I should probably stop disrailing this thread... |
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Originally Posted by cowboyjunki
I think this is so horribly sad, and I do consider it to be emotional abuse. The fact that they did it, then sent pictures to everyone, shows that they were trying to "teach her a lesson" and humiliate her.
I feel so bad for that little girl having to deal with all the teasing and emotional after effects of this act of cruelty. It sounds like something from the movie "Mommie Dearest". |
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Originally Posted by Alyantavid
I bet you she will remember this forever. This and the aftermath, the teasing she'll have to listen to.
My mom didn't want to deal with long hair so she kept mine short. Not buzzed short, but not much longer. It was awful, people made so much fun of me. And I didn't even have any bad habits, just a mom who didn't like long hair. |
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Originally Posted by prothyraia
Overreaction, yes, something very negative that she'll remember for years, yes, but com'on people? Abusive? Really?
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Originally Posted by hillymum
Twisting hair like she was doing is a symptom of stress, which isn't surprising if this is a good example of how her mother treats her. To send out photo's? Thats just vendictive!
The first thiyng that came to mind was the way French women were punish for sleeping with the enemy! |
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Originally Posted by Alyantavid
Way overreacting.
I bet you she will remember this forever. This and the aftermath, the teasing she'll have to listen to. My mom didn't want to deal with long hair so she kept mine short. Not buzzed short, but not much longer. It was awful, people made so much fun of me. And I didn't even have any bad habits, just a mom who didn't like long hair. |
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Originally Posted by fairejour
I disagree.
If someone cut off all my hair, without my permission, it would be a horrible moment, something that I would never forgive. Is it somehow "worse" because I am an adult, and no one has the right to do it? NO! Children are people too! Just because we, as parents, "have the right" to do it, does NOT make it ok. They (should) have the right to wholeness in their bodies, and the right to say who touches their body and in what way. |
My son has very long hair, and it tangles like there is no tomorrow. 
AND he absolutely hates, hates, HATES to wash it and comb it. But I would never, ever buzz his head against his will. That is such an abuse of parental power, in my mind.
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Originally Posted by eepster
Spanking though painful only lasts a few minutes. It isn't odd and unusual (though most of us wish it were considered that way.) Once it is over it is over.
CIO, only lasts a few hours at most, and is pretty common. This has marked the child for months if not years. This punishment will be with the child constantly. Everyone who sees this child will ask what happened to her beautiful hair with a sad look on their faces. Other children will see her and tease her about it. She will have to explain over and over to people why she looks the way she does. She doesn't simply have an ugly haircut, she has an extremely dramatic haircut associated with the opposite gender. This isn't just about the physical punishment that happened during the cutting, it's also about the months of humiliation the child will now be subjected to. |
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Originally Posted by hillymum
Twisting hair like she was doing is a symptom of stress, which isn't surprising if this is a good example of how her mother treats her. To send out photo's? Thats just vendictive!
The first thiyng that came to mind was the way French women were punish for sleeping with the enemy! |
Oh well, it's not my head, ya know?)|
Originally Posted by prothyraia
Overreaction, yes, something very negative that she'll remember for years, yes, but com'on people? Abusive? Really?
I'm someone who considers spanking physical assault and battery, and CIO emotional abuse. But an ugly haircut? Have any of you ever worked with abused children? |
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Originally Posted by savithny
Or it's a self-soothing device, like thumbsucking.
My DD twists her hair (twoodles it, we call it). She started out by twoodling my hair while she was nursing, and then when she grew some of her own, she would twoodle it in her sleep. It's not a stress thing -- it's just what she does as she's falling asleep. We do keep her hair relatively short, and one reason for that is that it's naturally curly, and we had to cut her finger out of it once when she'd twoodled it so tightly it was turning blue and we couldn't get it untangled. I wouldn't *shave* her head for it, although I have told her that if she won't let me brush her hair regularly she needs to get a haircut like her brother's (crew cut). Her brother had severe sensory issues around haircuts, hair washing, and hairbrushing, and beginning when he was about 5, we just started taking him to the barber and having him sheared like a sheep every 6 months. I'm sure some here woudl find that "abusive" because he did not enjoy the actual shearing, but he definitely did not mind the outcome -- he likes his "fuzzy head" when its freshly done. So without knowing more of the story, I wouldn't call it abusive per se -- though it has the potential to be. I know, for instance, that my mom wouldnt' "let" me grow my hair long when I was DD's age, because I also hated combing/brushing etc, and Mom said that if you can't care for long hair, you don't get to have it. I have never held that against her, because now that I've had long hair, I know she's right. And any teasing for having short hair (which I never ran into), can't be any worse than the teasing the other girls would give you for having scraggly unkempt hair. |
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Originally Posted by Cherry Alive
1)
My DD also has curly hair—like her father. It's not long enough to do anything with yet, but when it grows out I hope never to cut it short (unless she *wants* it that way). Why should she be penalized just for having different hair than me? I plan to research my DD's hair type. I know for a fact there are tons of decent hair products that make curls soft and silky to prevent knots. I'll even hunt down an awesome hairdresser if it comes down to it. Obviously it can't be that impossible to care for a child's curls. |
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