Help a first time mama to be

[jennybear]

I am due on January 3rd with our first (a little girl!) and we're going to try and get some of our necessities this weekend. I am stuck trying to figure out what we need/what's nice to have/what's a total waste of space and money.

We want to co-sleep for at least a while and are planning on an arms-reach co-sleeper. Any experience with this?

I have no idea if we should get a bouncer, a swing, both or neither. Our house is small, so we don't want to buy a lot of "gear" we won't use. On the other hand, we're happy to make space for gadgets that will make baby happier and life easier.

Any general thoughts on how to approach what to get? Are there things you can't live without? Things we should wait on?

We're among the first of our friends to have a baby, so unfortunately we don't have many people to borrow from to test stuff out.

FWIW, space is a larger consideration than budget.

[texaspeach]

IME the co sleeper is a waste of money. We have one and DS just ends up in bed next to me anyway. The mattress of the cosleeper is lower than the adult bed, so getting him out of it is difficult for me.

[tracymom1]

I would wait on the big things like a swing. You just never know what type of personality your LO will have and you could very well end up with a lot of stuff cluttering up your small space.

As for immediate needs - blankets, sleepers, hats, diapers and wipes, a good breast pump with all the accessories you need, a carrier/sling that is comfortable for you, carseat... um... that's all I can think of. Trust me - all the "other" stuff can wait until you settle into motherhood. Nobody needs a highchair for a newborn, KWIM?

I would also recommend finding a resale shop or checking out Craigslist. Not only can you get some great baby items for a fraction of the original cost, you are also doing your part to recycle!
Congrats!

[blumooned]

We used a co-sleeper that went in our bed, between DF and me (The First Years Close & Secure Sleeper). I liked it, but can't use it to nurse laying down because it has sides. Also I would recommend only if you have a queen size or larger bed. I liked it because it gave baby his own space and I was really scared about rolling on top of him.
We also have a small living space so we have not used a swing, even though several people have offered to give us one! I wanted something I could move around easily, so we went with a bouncy chair and have been very happy with it. It was nice when DS was really little to use as a safe place to set him if we needed to. Now, he just likes to bounce in it! I still use it as a place for him to hang out when I can't be in arm's reach (in shower for example).
Hope that helps!

[em123]

I had and LOVED the Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper. Mine was perfectly level with the bed, but there is a lip so it's not like you are on the same surface with no barrier. You do have to sit up to get the baby out, but I liked that aspect.

I would say definitely get a bouncer, maybe get a swing. We got both a swing and bouncer for free from coworkers, and used both of them liberally. Coudn't have lived without them! I expected a cuddler and got an independent little boy (who now at 11 months is super-duper snuggly, go figure!) I had a fold up swing that laid flat when not in use, so space wasn't an issue.

[Vegan Princess]

We too got both a bouncer and swing from friends. We used both but really we couldn't live witout the swing. You never know though - our friends passed it on to us bc their baby didn't like it. But it was the only place DD would sleep sometimes. We went through a phase when she was around 3-4 months when she loved the bouncer and it was great for putting in the bathroom while showering but we definitely didn't use it as much as the swing. You'll probably get use out of both if you buy them both.

I'd reccomend a moby wrap or something of the sorts. I love love love my ergo but didn't get it until she was 6 months so I don't know how great it is for a newborn. I could have done without a baby bath too - I almost always brought her in the tub with me (had DH hand her to me and I handed her back before getting out).

We had planned to use a pack and play bassinet but DD only wanted to be in bed with us so we used a snugge nest for the first 6 weeks. Sort of took up a lot of the bed but nice to have her there and not be afraid we were going to roll over on her. I think an arms reach would have been nice. I did use one while we were on vacation as a bassinet (not attached to the bed) and it was sort of small width wise (too snug for our 6 month old to really be comfortable bc she couldn't spread her arms out wthout hiting the side) so unless you get the bigger one, don't plan on your baby being it for more than a few months.

My last tip is to buy lots of long sleeve onesies. I had a January baby too and lots of the onesies we had were short sleeve - the few long sleeve ones became what we used most and since I am in a city that stays cool a lot of the year I still always look for them.

Congrats and have fun shopping!

Cindy

[fawnanddoe]

We got a co-sleeper and used it maybe 2 or 3 times. I folded it up and packed it away last month or so because DS just sleeps in the bed with us.
I got a bouncy chair from a friend and never used it, DS hated it, we were loaned the baby Brentwood rocker and DS loved that for a few weeks, until he grew out of it. We also have a small space so we tried not to get uneccessary gear until DS was born so we could figure out what he liked. I am glad we didn't because he grew out of liking stuff so fast!
We now have an exersaucer that a friend gave us and it's great! I think DS will like it for a while.

[aet.tea]

We have the Arm's Reach mini which has worked well for us - some nights she just ends up in bed with us, but I do like having somewhere to put her when she is happy sleeping by herself (gives me a chance to stretch and roll over).

We got both a swing and a bouncy seat as hand-me-downs. I use both, but neither has ever been indispensable. When she wanted to be held all the time (until about 2.5 months) she didn't enjoy either one, but now (at 6 mo) she's happy to just play on the floor while I get a few things done.

We did (and still do) love the Moby. My girl is small so we're still able to use it, although I also have a woven wrap that I'm starting to use more.

Ditto on the long-sleeve onesies. I was given some from Old Navy and they are lovely and soft.

congratulations! Hope all goes well with the birth!

[nwatt]

Looking back on our first few weeks, there are four things that really made our lives much easier.

1)We LOVE our Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper. I pull her into bed a lot, but she seems to really like having her own space.

2)If you are planning on breastfeeding, the myBrestfriend pillow makes life A LOT easier. The Boppy is okay, but I love the mybrestfriend. When she falls asleep on the boob, it holds her up enough that I can have one hand free to eat/get things done. I can even walk around. She has taken many a nap on that pillow!

3) Swaddles. The kiddopotamus or halo brands are both great. They really help my LO sleep.

4) This one is a little different, but it is an exercise/yoga ball. When she was fussy, wrapping her in a swaddle, holding her in our arms, and bouncing on the yoga calmed her down within seconds. My husband now uses it every night to put her down to sleep. (She falls asleep nursing but usually wakes up on her way to the co-sleeper.)

As far as the swing and bouncer go.. We use the swing everyday, but the bouncer only occasionally. The first couple of weeks she didn't like either for more than 5 minutes, but those 5 minutes were very helpful when I had to pee or grab something from the fridge. Sometimes now the swing is the only place she will fall asleep.

[Masel]

We hardly ever used the swing with DD1 but make good use of a bouncy seat. I don't think we'll even drag the swing out of the basement for DD2 but she sits in the bouncy seat every time I use the bathroom or need to take a call.

We borrowed a co-sleeper and used it with DD1 until she was 9 months old. DD2 has been using it for two months. Sometimes she ends up in bed with us but she seems to like to have her own space on occasion. So do I.

[Phridae]

Oh let's see.

Space was in issue with us too. We did get a bouncer, and a swing. We got a Fisher Price Take Along swing since it folds up and we can easy put it against a wall. The bouncer was nice for taking shower and such when I was home alone with the baby. As far as I know for the swing there are only two prints available, but its been a while since I've looked. Sadly my son is a chunker and met the weight requirement a lot quicker than I would have liked. But we did get use of out both items.

Co-sleeper. We have the Arms Reach original. Honestly, we didnt use it much. You're going to get such a mix of responses on a co-sleeper. I found it useful to hold blankets and extra diapers at night, but DS didn't sleep in it much at all. Its currently set up as a play yard in his bedroom (that he's never slept in, haha) He sleeps with me (as DH works 3rd shift) and sometimes in a pack-n-play thats set up in the bedroom, but not often. (Hey, ya gotta stretch out sometimes) We got the Original because it has a high weight limit on it while set up as a co-sleeper.

If you plan to breastfeed, a pillow is handy. I used a boppy and I loved it. If you do go with a My Breast Friend, please do not walk around using it. The company does not recommend doing so. The clip used on the billow is not made to hold the weight of a baby, even if you have one hand on her, you may not be quick enough to catch her if the clip should fail. Its just not worth it to walk to the fridge while breatfeeding with a risk like that.
Back to the boppy. I liked it. No fussing with a clip or anything. The slip covers are easy to put on and wash. (if you end up with a Boppy, 2-3 extra slipcovers. You'd be surprised how often they get yucked up. Plus variety is nice.)

Are you having a baby shower?

A quick note on clothing. Gowns. Sleeper gowns were the best thing. Kept baby nice and warm, made diaper changes a breeze, plus most have the little covers to keep their hands covered, no face scratches! Onesies, socks, and blankets. That what we used most of while at home. No need to put baby in a whole outfit unless you're going out.

I do not recommend getting a snow suit type jacket for baby in a carseat. Its best to dress baby warm, and then cover with blankets. With a bulky snow suit you loosen the straps to accommodate the snowsuit. There have been accidents where baby has slipped out of the carseat and snow suit because the straps were not tight enough.

If you have any other questions feel free to PM me.

[Angelorum]

do people really walk around with their baby on the Brest Friend without holding them??? I can't see how on earth that would even work. I've walked around with mine on, but there's no way it would support my baby without my arm underneath him.

Back on topic. I needed to save money and space too. We got a dresser with a removable changing table top, because we needed somewhere to keep the baby clothes in, and once he's older, we can take the top off and it can just be his regular dresser.

As for clothing, I also love the sleeper gowns for night time. During the day, I prefer one piece footed suits. They look the comfiest and aren't so fussy as multiple piece coordinating outfits.

For sleeping, we were given a hammock style baby bed (like the Amby) It got some use in the beginning, but after I was given a hand me down bouncer I almost never use it.

I can't live without my bouncer! I'm sure it depends on the babe's temperament, but it works really well with my ds. He likes to sit in it and watch me while I work; I can put him in it while I shower, eat, pee etc. It's easy to move around the house (with him in it if he's sleeping). I put it beside my chair at the computer or in front of where I sit on the couch and rock it with my foot. It's usually the easiest way to get him to go to sleep when he's tired. I just swaddle him, turn on the vibrator, and rock him with my foot while I eat/knit/play games/sing to him or whatever. Then once he's out I don't have to try and put him down without waking him. I keep the bouncer somewhere visible while he naps and so if he starts to stir I can just rock him for a minute until he resettles. At bedtime, he goes to sleep in his bouncer, and when I'm ready for bed I just move the bouncer next to my bed so I can hear him when he wakes up to feed. After that he sleeps the rest of the night in bed with us.

I was a little nervous at first having him in bed with us, but our mattress is on the floor, so a co sleeper wouldn't work, and ds is really hard to move without waking if he falls asleep on or next to me. Now that I have figured out which positions are best for both of us, I don't worry so much anymore, and we both rest well.

I don't have a swing, it seems a little redundant to have both a swing and a bouncer, but I know people who swear by the swings.

I also don't have any sort of baby bath tub or seat. He just comes in with me or dh. I would want a seat or something though if I were bathing him alone, but luckily dh works at home, and we have fun bathing him together.

I also decided to skip the infant car seat and just picked out a convertible car seat that newborns fit into well. It takes up more space in the car, but I don't have an infant seat I'm going to have to store until kiddo #2 comes along.

Some kind of carrier is a must. The fabric ones don't take up that much space. I currently have a Moby wrap and two ring slings. The Moby gets the most use currently, I couldn't seem to get ds comfortable in the slings at first, and I like having the weight on both shoulders. I plan on making a Mei Tai soon now that his head control is better. Also, the moby and ring slings don't have to be sized, so they fit both me and dh.

I do like my nursing pillow. In the beginning it got used a lot, because he was so small and I had to help with the latch so much it was easier to have him supported by the pillow. Also he nursed for a long stretches in the beginning, and so once he was all latched on, I could do things with both hands while he was laying on the pillow. I don't really need it so much anymore, but it got a lot of use the first 2-3 months.

I don't have fancy swaddler gadgets, I just like plain old 45" square thin blankets. There's a bit of a learning curve, but it's no sweat once you get it down.

I also have very few toys. Right now, he has two soft books, a board book, a knitted octopus I made him and some teething toys. That's pretty much it. I'm sure we'll get more as he gets older, but right now, everything is a toy to him: hands, toes, plastic spoons, hair, blankets etc. He doesn't seem bored by what he's got around him yet!

Really, it's hard to tell what you'll need or use once the baby comes. It's a little crazy making if you're a planner, but for a lot of items, you can do the research now but wait to purchase it until after the birth if you can get it nearby.

[Italiamom]

My recs are:
-good breast pump (nice for building up a stash in those early days when you have SO MUCH MILK)
-good carrier (I loved our Moby wrap in the early days when DS was tiny. Kept him all bundled up and close like a newborn. If I could do it over again I'd probably skip it though and just go with the Ergo from the get go. So comfy for hours of wearing)
-diapers (wish we had started with cloth from the beginning. I kick myself over the hundreds of dollars we wasted on disposables)
-clothing (unless you live somewhere tropical, get fewer onesies and more long sleeved sleepers with feet. We had all these onesies that never got worn, because they weren't warm enough in the first few days)

FWIW, The co-sleeper was a total waste for us. If you're planning on buying a crib, just get the crib. The co-sleepers are expensive, uncomfortable for baby, and they outgrow them so fast. My DS didn't sleep in his crib or cosleeper for the the first 3 months of his life, and by the time he would tolerate it for a few hours he was almost too big for it. Mine ended up mostly being a very expensive place to put clean baby laundry

[BlueWolf]

I would not have survived the first few months with my DD without our Moby wrap. Now we've graduated to an Ergo and again, we cannot live without it. For the first month or so, that is the only place she would nap. Now she only naps in her swing, but it took a good three months for her to like her swing.

[Ruthie's momma]

Originally Posted by jennybear

I am due on January 3rd with our first (a little girl!) and we're going to try and get some of our necessities this weekend. I am stuck trying to figure out what we need/what's nice to have/what's a total waste of space and money.

We want to co-sleep for at least a while and are planning on an arms-reach co-sleeper. Any experience with this?

I have no idea if we should get a bouncer, a swing, both or neither. Our house is small, so we don't want to buy a lot of "gear" we won't use. On the other hand, we're happy to make space for gadgets that will make baby happier and life easier.

Any general thoughts on how to approach what to get? Are there things you can't live without? Things we should wait on?

We're among the first of our friends to have a baby, so unfortunately we don't have many people to borrow from to test stuff out.

FWIW, space is a larger consideration than budget.

Congratulations!

There are only a few things that "you can't live without":

*Car seat (infant or convertible)

*Diapers & wipes

*Basic layette (gowns and/or sleepers, onesies and/or tees, socks and blankets)

*Sling

*Convertible crib with basic bedding if you plan to side car for co-sleeping or if you don't plan on co-sleeping.

*Breast pump and basic bottles if you will be away from the LO for extended periods of time.

*High chair or booster seat can be purchased when the LO is several months old.

*You may want a stroller, as well.

I didn't use a co-sleeper, play yard, breastfeeding pillow, Bumbo, bouncy seat, swing or any other sort of baby gear. I am somewhat of a minimalist.

[Vegan Princess]

Oh yeah - on the stroller front. I reccomend a snap and go if you plan on getting one of the bucket infant seats. So light and great to just keep in your trunk. They aren't the best for long walks or over bumps but you can decide what kind of stroller to buy later. Sometimes you just don't want to wake your baby when they are asleep to put them in a wrap while you do your errands! I ended up getting an all terain stroller later (BOB Revolution). I hardly ever use it as I much prefer to wear DD in the ergo, even on long walks. I do think I will get more use out of a good stroller as she gets bigger bc at some point she will just be too big to wear on long walks. As for the nice stroller - I so regret not getting one where baby can face me. I may in fact buy a 2nd stroller that does (Uppababy Vista)...but we'll see.

Cindy

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by nwatt

4) This one is a little different, but it is an exercise/yoga ball. When she was fussy, wrapping her in a swaddle, holding her in our arms, and bouncing on the yoga calmed her down within seconds. My husband now uses it every night to put her down to sleep. (She falls asleep nursing but usually wakes up on her way to the co-sleeper.)

THIS. Especially in those few weeks when they have fussy nights (evening colic, or whatever it's called). Luckily we already had one from the pregnancy.


As far as, what do you NEED right away?

Carseat.
Changing Table (yeah, you can use the bed or floor, but it will kill your back)
Onesies and sleepers
Receiving blankets
Hats
Baby carrier (I used a sling-style for her first few months)
Medical Kit with nail clippers, nose aspirator, thermometer
Baby wash, cornstarch powder, diaper-rash cream
Hooded towels, soft baby washclothes
Rubbing alcohol and swabs, if you're going to swab the cord stump (some do, some don't)
Cotton balls (for washing face and neck)
Diapers (I so strongly recommend cloth. Not only is the saved money crazy, but they usually save you diaper rash, too.)
Nursing Pillow


I think that's really all we used at all for the first month or so. Really, at that point if they are fed and changed, that's basically it-- there's a lot of sleeping and growing there at first, not as much entertaining.

As far as the co-sleeper, that's harder to call. We used a bassinet for the first week, because I was convinced that I wasn't going to co-sleep, and then guess what, we ended up co-sleeping, so the bassinet ended up useless.


If you're going back and forth between getting a bouncer OR a swing, I'd say a swing. The movement is more soothing, especially for a young infant. At 7 months, my daughter is over the swing, but for just about half a year it was perfect if I had to set her down for a minute or two (obviously, neither a bouncer or a swing is a baby-sitter, but sometimes you need that five minutes hands-free). One thing I'd say-- don't get one with a bar that goes over the top, unless it's easily removable, because it's hard getting a small infant into and out of one like that. Go for an open top.

[Phridae]

Wow, I just realized we all assumed you're breastfeeding when you didnt say anything about it in your post. Sorry!
Let us know if you plan to formual feed so you can get some good info on bottles/ect.
=)

[EmmysMama]

Space is kind of tight here too!

Things I NEEDED when DD was a newborn ...

convertible carseat

t-shirts (I can.not.stand.onesies!)

BabyLegs or similar legwarmers

diapers & wipes

blankets (not necessarily baby blankets, if you already have smaller throw-size blankets)

some sort of carrier (I liked a ring sling and a wrap best)

Boppy pillow

breastpump (I loved my Medela Harmony, just a little manual pump, worked great for my needs) and storage supplies

bottle (for my peace of mind, in case I had to leave her in an emergency ... I got a Breastflow one and DD did take it the one time DH had to feed her)

Things I had and didn't need ...

swing, bouncer, stroller (the carriers took the place of ALL these, I could wear her and rock/bounce/walk and she liked it much better anyway)

Pack 'n Play (really awkward to bend over, the bassinet is a weird height)

cosleeper (useless for me, I got no sleep until I learned to nurse lying down and just kept her next to me!)

hooded towels and baby washcloths (they're cute but full-size towels work fine)

baby tub (DH took her in the tub with him and held her, I helped at first)

expensive baby shampoos/soap/lotions

highchair (I knew I wouldn't need it with a newborn, but didn't use it later either!)

changing table/changing pad (I put a folded towel on the dresser. Clothes and diapers were in the drawers.)

If I wanted a swing/bouncer this time, I would get one of those Infant-to-Toddler rocker seats (and I still might, I don't know yet). They can sit in it like a bouncer, you can rock it like a swing, and they can still sit in it later so it's not totally useless after 6m.

Later I got a Bumbo seat. Best purchase ever. DD liked it much better than the bouncer, it doesn't fold up or anything but it's pretty small and very light. I'd set her up with toys on the tray.

[amberskyfire]

I was obsessed with having one and wanted it so badly before we had our daughter but then after having her, I realized it would have been a huge waste of money.

First of all, you can't nurse while the baby is in it. You have to move the baby into the bed with you to nurse. I didn't want to have to move my daughter once she fell asleep again and wake her back up.

Also, my daughter wouldn't sleep that far from me. I could keep her about a foot from me at most before she would sense that I was not there (maybe it was my smell or breathing or warmth she was no longer detecting) and wake up screaming.

Also, they grow out of it super fast, so it's not good for very long. THEN what are you going to do?

What we have is a crib sidecarred to our bed. I just took the front panel off and pushed it up against our bed and secured it. It works perfectly. I can nurse my daughter while she is in it, and she will fit in it through her toddler years.