Help a first time mama to be - Page 2

[honeyhaze]

My recommendations:

- BORROW a few different baby carriers and find out which ones work for you. I'd try to borrow a Moby, an Ergo/Beco, and a Maya sling. Those are all very different carriers, all good quality, and chances are one (or more) of them will work well for you. Check thebabywearer.com and see if you can find anyone locally who'll loan you one. Join a local AP list and ask there, as well. Then once you figure out which one you like best, buy it. You'll likely be using it often, as they work absolute wonders. My Ergo was probably one of the very best things I've purchased for my son.. I was taking him on 4-mile hikes and nursing him in the woods when he was only a couple of months old, plus we still wear it around the house all the time. I'd list this as the #1 most important thing to pick up, as most babies will sleep for long periods of time while being worn in a comfy carrier.

- I'd pick up at least a few swaddle blankets and learn how to use them. My husband and I benefited greatly from watching "The Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD and using that method of swaddling, etc. The Miracle Blanket is my favorite, but a couple of cheap SwaddleMe blankets are also useful to have in the beginning.

- We used our birthing ball to bounce our baby to sleep and it was wonderful! You can sit right on it, hold baby close, and the bouncing has an amazing effect. These cost about ten bucks and I'd consider them a must have for pregnant women and new parents.

- My son really, really liked his BabyBjorn bouncer chair for his first five months. I'd recommend some kind of bouncey seat, for those times when you absolutely have to put your baby down (like when you're in the shower). The BabyBjorn one is pricey, but the high quality makes it worth the money. It's also easy to clean (you can toss the fabric right into the washer), no batteries (you use your foot to bounce it, or it self-bounces with the baby's movement), and it's light and portable. I tried all manner of other contraptions and highly recommend this one.

- I sometimes used an Arm's Reach cocoon for co-sleeping and my son slept well in that, but we ended up doing the family-bed thing. If you're comfortable doing that with a newborn, try putting your mattress directly on the floor (no box spring or frame) and look into methods of safe co-sleeping. It can be done and (I believe) it should be! Generally your baby will want to sleep beside you as much as possible, which makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. I'd try to figure out how to make it work. In retrospect, I wish I'd put my mattress on the floor much earlier than I did, plus invested in a Moses basket for those times when I wanted our son in our room but not directly in the bed. I spent months stressing over how high up our bed was and worrying about him falling off.. and once I moved the bed to a lower position it was such a relief. If you decide not to bed share, then I'd recommend room sharing for at least the first few months... it's way easier for nursing and changing, much less stress for everyone involved, and your baby will likely cry a lot less. Room sharing and/or bed sharing is awesome for newborns and will help everyone sleep better.

- A boppy can be fantastic, but a lot of the time I ended up nursing in the side-laying position or while my son was in the Ergo. I'd say get a boppy, but give yourself the opportunity to try lots of different nursing positions.

Mostly, if you want to avoid gear then you're going to want to breastfeed, co-sleep, and wear your baby. Then all you really need is some diapers (cloth will save you a lot of money, FWIW; we love our BumGenius) and swaddle blankets. I've had the benefit of having all the imaginable gear and I give most of it a big "meh." You have everything your baby needs.

Good luck!

[honeyhaze]

Oh yeah, and if you plan to EC then I'd add a BabyBjorn "little potty" to the list. I started holding my son on a potty at six weeks old and making the "psss" sound and he used it no problem. It helps keep diapers cleaner and drier for longer, which is easier on their skin. I also think having the chance to sit up on the potty helped with my son's trunk control... he sat up very early.

I don't do the whole EC method of watching for cues, but we use the potty during diaper changes, before baths, and after naps... it's awesome! This is one piece of gear that's small, cheap, and can be money saving and/or eco-friendly. If you use disposables you'll likely use fewer of them if you give your baby a chance to potty outside the diaper and if you use cloth you'll end up doing less laundry. My son usually doesn't mind sitting on his potty at all and in the beginning actually smiled and seemed pleased to be held upright. At nine months he sometimes crawls off of it, but he still uses it multiple times a day and if I'm savvy he goes through fewer diapers

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by honeyhaze

- A boppy can be fantastic, but a lot of the time I ended up nursing in the side-laying position or while my son was in the Ergo. I'd say get a boppy, but give yourself the opportunity to try lots of different nursing positions.

This is true and I'm a big side-lying fan (probably anyone who co-sleeps will be), but the boppy is useful to have anyway, just for the times when you're sitting in the chair nursing... plus, when the baby starts trying to sit by herself, the boppy comes in handy there-- it doesn't hold her in place, but keeps her from bumping her head on the floor. It's just a neat little item in general. I have a boppy and not a brest friend one, so I don't know if the brest friend is better or worse... but I love the one I have, still use it daily for one thing or another.




As far as the hooded towels-- I'd still recommend getting a few, rather than using big towels. It helps to keep the head covered in that sponge-bath stage, so the baby doesn't get cold. Plus they're a lot softer and less abrasive.

[LROM]

We have a tiny tiny space as well, and I'm glad we had both a swing and a bouncer, because DD preferred one over the other at different stages, then would switch again.

In t he early months it was the swing that was a life saver, but it was the bouncy that was better when I was in the shower or trying to cook for a few minutes and she could be in the bouncer staring at/playing with the toys that hang down in the same room.

Re: sleepers, I also had the Comfort Nest (or whatever it's called - the one that goes in the bed with you but has 3 sides so it's hard to roll over on baby) and I loved it. I also liked that she had her own space, yet was right there between us. Ditto that you need a Queen or King sized bed for that though, cuz in a double when we travelled there was hardly room for all 3 of us.

[miriam_bat_avraham]

Just forum-stalker from TTC I saw this and had to respond-- I'm a 1st child girl born on January 3rd! You should totally name your daughter Julie after me ;D lol! Just thought that was funny.

[_betsy_]

Congrats!

I had a baby last Jan. 2! She was born in during a snow flurry, and is a joy!

With my first, I too worried about what all I needed to have on hand. With my second, I knew what I needed were

Boobs
sling
infant car seat
diapers
onesies, socks, a couple "outfits"
a couple different blankets

Pretty much everything else is a nice to have, not really a need to have!
Like
Boppy
basinnet
crib
glider and ottoman
toys
swing
chair (we like this infant to toddler rocker)

depending on whether you're going back to work or not, you may need a pump (I love my Ameda Purely Yours (well, OK, as much as anyone can LOVE a pump!)) and bottles and stuff like that
depending on your baby, you may want pacifiers, a sound machine, a larger velcro swaddling blanket, etc.

Things like a high chair can wait until baby is older and you actually need it.

I really had great luck with the thoughts and advice in the book Baby Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields.

[Kelly1101]

One other thing...

"The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears. Even if you're not doing all of the things he advocates, it's a really good resource for basic baby care. I used it a lot in that first month.

[darcytrue]

We co-sleep but have a pack n play - used for naps mostly.

We have a bouncy seat and a swing (an older model) and I like having them both. I bought them used. Some days we never use them and other days I have them to switch DD around to when she gets bored or tired of being held. Its good to have various things for her to do.

[CrunchyKnitter]

I haven't read the other responses yet so this may be a lot of repeating, but here is what we have found. DS is now 3 1/2 months old.

- Moby Wrap - MUST have. Seriously. I would give back every sort of baby item I have just to have this. (You can also make your own, it's just a LONG piece of jersey cotton).

-Arm's Reach - we did get this and didn't use it for the 1st 6 weeks because DS HAD to sleep right up against me in our bed. I used it to change him during the night and found it to just be a pain otherwise. Now, I LOVE it. I was very sore sleeping with DS in bed (b/c I wouldn't move at all) and at 6 weeks DS began tummy sleeping and our bed is just too soft for that. So he moved to the co sleeper and it's been perfect since then. I would def. get one, but don't be surprised if your baby doesn't sleep in it right off the bat.

Bouncer - this is another must have for us if only just to carry it to the bathroom so I can pee without holding DS. Now that he's a little older he can spend 10-20 min in it next to me playing the the woodland friends hanging from it and enjoys himself a lot, but at first he couldn't just be set down in it, except for those quick seconds. But I definitely used it a lot (carrying it from room to room) to do things like use the bathroom, feed the dogs, take something out of the oven...basically things that I didn't always feel comfortable doing when he was in the Moby or if he wasn't in the Moby at that time I just needed 2 hands for a second.

Swing- we borrowed one and I'm so glad we did - DS never loved it. For a few weeks I could put him to sleep in my arms and transfer him to the swing to nap for a bit, but that only worked sometimes and not for long. He took (and still does) most of his naps on me or in the Moby. Some babies love it though and I'm surprised he didn't b/c he LOVES motion. Loves the car and loves to be held and walked around. But hates the swing and hates to be rocked in our rocking chair.

- Crib - never been used. Maybe one day! If I were to do it over again, I'd seriously wait on the crib and put that money toward pictures/photographer. No joke.

-Nursing covers - Nah. Don't care and DS doesn't like them and I can't be bothered. I NIP anywhere and everyone, no cover.

Bobby - nice , but not necessary. A pillow or two will work fine.

That is pretty much it. I've found with clothes, I prefer one pieces. Pants are a PITA and aren't good for relfux (which DS has) anyway and I like him to look like a tiny baby in his one pieces. Other outfits are just a pain and watch the neck areas of things. I hate zippers or high necks going into DS's little fat neck.

they really don't need much, esp at first!

[Comtessa]

We love our Craigslist swing but could have done without the bouncy seat.

I love the Moby wrap for newborn stages and Ergo for a bit later. Could have done without the Baby Bjorn, frame baby backpack, Hotsling, ring sling, and Infantino sling.

We like our Arm's Reach but only 'cause it's borrowed; I wouldn't spend money on one unless I could find a good used one. Ditto for the crib, changing table, Boppy, stroller, and rocking chair.

We're really grateful that we got a convertible carseat rather than spending money on an infant seat. A newborn head stabilizer to use in the carseat is a nice investment; we borrowed one and found it really helpful when DD was tiny.

I agree with a lot of the above posts, but here's a few more: we couldn't do without our Avent pacifiers, baby legwarmers (I made my own), lots of warm hats and socks, a bunch of larger-sized receiving blankets and light fleece blankets for swaddling (we never bothered with the fancy swaddlers), cloth diapers and cloth wipes, and a good stock of postpartum frozen meals. Make them and freeze them now, you'll be grateful later, I promise.

[Cherry Alive]

Definitely buy an Arm's Reach and a nice swing. They can be very useful for most babies, fold up nicely (for storage sake), and you can buy them both off of Craigslist for 1/4 - 1/2 their selling prices. If you get an Arm's Reach, though, don't skimp on the mattress. It's expensive (nearly as much as the bassinet itself) but soooo much better than the little padded board that Arm's Reach uses for their mattress. Most babies sleep much better that way.

The swing is super useful if you have a newborn or if you are plagued with a baby who has colic-like symptoms. Before we figured out our DD had dairy protein allergies (she'd get major painful gas when I consumed dairy products), the swing gave us a little rest.

If you want to skip straight to the crib, side-carring is always an alternative to the cosleeper:
http://www.freewebs.com/sidecarcrib/index.htm

We did this when DD outgrew her Arm's Reach (we have dogs in the bed so we don't let DD stay in it directly...plus we like having the extra space). It's really beautiful and solid when set up, but it's a bit involved to put together. Ours took about a day to set up (we had to re-arrange our bedroom furniture to flush the bed against the wall properly).

For this reason, I was happier starting with the Arm's Reach. It was much easier to put together, and—let's face it—when you are in your 2nd-3rd term, easy is key.

I also liked having a smaller bed for my DD at first. She was so small, I'd be terrified to jump right to cosleeping with her. I also think she'd get lost in a side-carred crib.

Just my $.02.

[CrunchyKnitter]

A note about the exercise ball...yes, they are great, but wait until your stitches (if you have them) are TOTALLY healed. Um learned that the hard way and now at 14/15 weeks out I still am not healed b/c of that accident.