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Would you have done this? - Page 2

post #21 of 179
No. As a mother it's my JOB to consider the what ifs.

There are countless "what ifs" in your scenario.

There's no way I would leave my baby with an 8 year old, and there is no way I'd leave my 8 year old to responsible for the life of a baby.

I'm glad this ended well for you today.
post #22 of 179
I wouldn't have. It wouldn't have taken any time to grab the baby out of bed to go drop your dh off.

Quote:
Is an 8 year old even strong enough to really pick up a baby?
Mine certainly is. He can carry around his six year old sister, or both of his little brothers at the same time.
post #23 of 179
Don't second guess yourself over this. At the moment you chose this decision you were happy enough with it to do it, so just leave it there.
post #24 of 179
Maybe I missed this, but why didn't your DH drive himself to work?

I would not have left a baby with an 8 year old.
post #25 of 179
I'm assuming you have seats for your children in the one car. Why not just take them along?

Besides the fact that it is probably illegal in your state to even leave your 8yo alone, 20 minutes can be a long time to an 8 yo when an infant has any incident to make them upset and the 8yo has to deal with it. And at 8mos., a baby knows who to go to for comfort... mommy or daddy and would likely not be easily consoled. I think you put too much responsibility on the 8yo and put them both in danger. No doubt that if something had happened, you would be in jail now for neglect. I see it regularly on the morning news when parents made similar decisions and everything didn't go just right.

ETA: I know you asked for no flames but I think you lapsed in judgment with this decision.
post #26 of 179
Barring a life or death emergency situation, no.

Not just for the "what if's" but if someone found out, I could risk losing my children through CPS interference, or at best lose a good deal of time and sanity dealing with them.

I can understand wanting to be able to do that. But never would.
post #27 of 179
I wouldn't.

I agree the chances of something very serious happening are small but if something did happen I would have set the 8 year old for an unbearable responsibility and guilt.

So my answer is no.
post #28 of 179
not with a baby
post #29 of 179
I probably wouldn't have, BUT I totally know my daughter (who's my older one) would be plenty responsible enough to handle herself just fine. I'd be more concerned about something happening beyond my control to keep me from getting back right away.
post #30 of 179
My two are those same general ages, and no, I wouldn't. It's too much responsibility to put on a child that age.
post #31 of 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeighB View Post
No not at all. Is an 8 year old even strong enough to really pick up a baby? The one I nanny for certainly is not. It seems like a very bad idea to me, not to mention illegal in most (all?) states.
I recall hauling my infant brother all over the place with me (him on my hip), getting him in and out of bed, changing his diaper; I would have been 8 when he was an infant.
post #32 of 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeighB View Post
No not at all. Is an 8 year old even strong enough to really pick up a baby?
my dd at 4 1/2 could pick and carry ds when he was a baby. even now dd 7 ds 3 she can carry him everywhere. she is only 8 inches taller and 8 lb heavier then him.

would i ???
i would if i knew the older one can handle the younger one. yes i have done it while i run to the store gone like 5 min. but i cant because all they do is fight if i could i would. i have taught my dd how to behave and what to do and what not to do. i have total trust in her now if she didnt listen or was not able to do it then nope never.
post #33 of 179
While I have left my (then) 8 year old home alone for short periods of time I would not be comfortable leaving him with a baby or younger child. He is learning to be responsible for himself but he is too young to be responsible for someone else.

I would have taken the baby with me.
post #34 of 179
I wouldn't. I think it's unfair to put that kind of responsibility on an 8 yr old. What if something happened? He'd totally blame himself and that's just not okay.

I was left home A LOT when I was younger. I was a latch key kid from kindergarten up. I'd be home for a few hours a day, alone. I also was left by myself at night or with my (younger) stepsisters while my parents when out drinking around age 8. I just remember being scared all the time. Scared someone was breaking in, scared someone would get hurt, scared I'd get in trouble for something. It was horrible and to this day I still hate being home alone.

It's not an 8 yr olds job to watch a baby.
post #35 of 179
I would have left the 8 YO and taken the baby. My son was a very mature, responsible 8 YO, but I don't think I would have left him with an infant.
post #36 of 179
I see no problem with it. You weren't gone that long, baby was sleeping, DS was fine. You can't let the "what-if's" control your life.

I'm guessing most who said "no" live in the city?
post #37 of 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Aimee* View Post
It's not an 8 yr olds job to watch a baby.
I disagree; my 8 yr olds (older now) have watched the baby/younger kids while I showered, cooked, etc. and even ran to town (2½ miles away) for something.

Really, I think having an 8 yr old watch a baby for 15-20 minutes is not that big of a deal, especially if s/he is very mature for their age.
post #38 of 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama~Love View Post
I disagree; my 8 yr olds (older now) have watched the baby/younger kids while I showered, cooked, etc. and even ran to town (2½ miles away) for something.

Really, I think having an 8 yr old watch a baby for 15-20 minutes is not that big of a deal, especially if s/he is very mature for their age.
Yeah, my 3 yr old watches his 19 month old brother while I shower and cook too. However if my 19 month old started choking (or 8 month old if I had one) or fell and hit his head or whatever, I'd be right there, not somewhere else.

And I think it's even MORE dangerous to leave kids alone on rural properties where there are no neighbors. I remember when my best friend growing up's house caught on fire, she ran to her neighbors for help. And my DH grew up on rural property and the rule was you couldn't stay home alone unless you could drive a car (didn't have to be able to drive legally) off the property in case of emergency.
post #39 of 179
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post
^^
speaking of, b/c I'm sometimes a bit paranoid -- I would tell him not to mention this at school or to friends... just so that you don't have someone calling CPS, even though it went okay.
He's not in school (we homeschool), so no worries about 'mandatory reporting' here

And he knows not to say anything to anyone else... he realizes that a lot of families aren't like ours, and knows when to keep lips zipped. That said, isn't it a shame that so many ares of our lives are legislated?

It'd be nice to be able to make our own choices without having to worry that CPS will come knocking...

Also:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama~Love View Post
I see no problem with it. You weren't gone that long, baby was sleeping, DS was fine. You can't let the "what-if's" control your life.

I'm guessing most who said "no" live in the city?
I'm wondering that too. We do live on a farm, but we're in no way in the boondocks. Our closest neighbor is about 100 yards away, and always home.
post #40 of 179
I would leave a responsible occupied 8yo alone. But I would NOT leave the child in charge of an infant. My main concern would be fire. (The 8yo is too old to get into physical trouble in the house, and a baby in a crib is "safe")

An 8yo is old enough to be taught to get out of the house and open the door. But I don't think they are old enough to go get an infant, and then get out of the house with that infant. They might do something like think it's really important to run back for a soother or blanket or some other thing.
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