Can I homeschool if I'm a disorganized mess?

[bonichka]

Hi there.
I am the mom of a 2.5 yo little girl, and expecting our second child in February. I am leaning strongly toward homeschooling, but there are a few things holding me back. Most of them seem to be typical concerns for someone who went to school herself, and doesn’t really know many others who homeschool. I have been reading posts here for the past couple weeks, and have seen many of these issues addressed. There remains one major issue for me that I’d love to hear your comments on.

The issue is me. I feel, and also gather from many discussions on this board, that order and routine are key. I don’t mean regimented schedules, but that things have their place, and life, in general, is somewhat predictable. That is not me, and it’s something I struggle with – not something I’m comfortable with about myself. My house is a mess – lots of clutter that I can’t seem to get out from under. I’m definitely working on it more now, for the sake of my daughter. But, I’m one of those people that has to do a marathon cleaning session anytime I have anyone over. I just can’t/don’t get into the routine of “a little bit every day.” There’s always something else to be doing.

I feel like this would be an issue in homeschooling, as I think there should be some degree of places for things; that it makes it easier for children to do for themselves, etc. At the same time, I feel I should work on this no matter where my children are schooled, because coming home to a chaotic environment would probably have the same effect.

I don’t know if this makes any sense. I’m kind of hoping that if some of you have gone through something similar, you will understand what I’m talking about. I’d love to hear how others have dealt with this kind of issue. And I’m hoping that there are people who understand this, and that I’m not as alone in it as I feel.

Thanks for listening!
Bonnie

[Materfamilias]

Could you maybe allocate a space that's just for the HS stuff? Like a cabinet or something? This is on my own to- do list. I've been letting DS keep his HS stuff on a shelf in his room but it's definitely not cutting it. He often has to search for things. My own HS stuff is neat and orderly but it's in several different places -- I need to bring it all together.

[craft_media_hero]

I had to respond. Yes, you can homeschool and be a disorganized mess. I am working on my clutter control, but in general, our house is messy. We live in a tiny apartment and have too much stuff. I take at least one box to Goodwill every week, but it really doesn't seem to make that much of a difference.

This is what I do to keep homeschool in order:
1. I made a schedule. Sometimes I feel cheesy about this, because I know that she'll learn without a schedule, but for me as the hs mom, I need something to look at that says what book to pull out next. If I just vaguely said "we'll read a fairy tale every day", I would flake out. Knowing what books go on what days is essential, for me the mom, not my kid.
2. I bought a funky cool hanging file box, and put the books we need for each subject for each day in it. This really helps a lot. So even tho my bookshelves are overflowing, at least the homeschool books we need for today are all in one place.
3. rhythm, rhythm, rhythm. Trust me, I'm no expert. I started with noting when we naturally eat and rest and then went from there, seeing where we could fit in which subjects. Then writing it on the printed schedule makes me commit to it. When I look at the paper on the fridge and I see what happens next, it really helps.
4. Don't stress. It really is okay to "flake out" and take a long walk when you "should" be doing math. I know that pretty much negates everything I just said above. But sometimes, she and I both need to drop the routine and just do our own thing. Those are the days that she'll spend an extra long time on music, or make up her own stories, or beg me to "ask me math questions, mommy" and play with her manipulatives for hours. Plus, extra time for cuddles!

So don't let your own personal disorganization hold you back from what you feel is right for you child. Do keep working on it, for your and her sake. But being chaotic and messy is not a deal-killer for homeschooling. It can be done. It's good that you are looking ahead to the future, and you have so much time, that maybe by the time you're officially homeschooling, the chaos won't be as overwhelming as it is to you now. Good luck!

[accidental_hs'er]

Yes you can and no, unfortunately, I have very few tips on how to get/stay organized.

I crave order but am terrible with follow through. That said, I have a few bookcases in my living room (which are not pleasant to look at but I "fix" it once a month or so) where the math books, non-fiction, science, etc. should be. We can find them when we need them, lol.

We are very relaxed homeschoolers though, with no agenda for each day. When we feel like math, we'll dig it out and spend several hours blitzing through a few chapters. Plus your children are young - I find it gets easier as they get older. They can be doing some worksheets at the kitchen table while I sweep. I am just at that stage now, though, with a 4 and nearly 7 year old.

One of my biggest problems has been library books. We have 2 libraries (in different towns - one is for a co-op) and I am always scrambling to find them all and get them back on time. I solved this by getting the same number of books each trip so I always know exactly how many need to make it back into the car. I also plan to go to the library the same day each week and return all the books - that way even if we miss a week I still have 2 more to cover myself. When you take out 40 books at a time, late fees can rack up quickly.

I am a marathon cleaner too but have learned to relax. I make sure the kitchen is tidy and the bathrooms are clean. I have a lot of people pop over but they just have to deal with the clutter. If I have to choose between washing floors and making a fort with the kids, the fort wins every time, lol. I am fine with that.

With a new baby coming and your own (dis)inclination towards cleaning, you are going to have to cut yourself some extra slack. My priorities are 1) survival, 2) health, 3) happiness and 4) asthetic. 1) We need to eat and have clean clothes. 2) We need to have sanitary (but not necessarily sterilized) places to eat and clean ourselves. 3) My dks need to have their minds fed and enjoy childhood. 4) My house needs to look pretty and inviting for others. We rarely make it to 4, lol.

[kathymuggle]

Hi!

I am messy and disorganised. I wish I weren't and I do work on it (declutterring is key for me, as is getting my children to help out) but it is an ongoing battle.

It is not, however, a deal breaker. I think the only thing more depressing on the housekeeping front than being messy would be believing I can't HS because I am messy.

I do not think sending kids to school is a magic bullet for disorganisation.

I have had children in school, and school takes a fair amount of organisation.

It includes:
-getting everyone up, fed, and dressed and out the door by a certain early time 5 days a week. Lunches need to be made as well.
-going throught their bags every evening. Remembering to do and sign daily reading logs. Remebering permission slips. Signing journals.
- Homework.

I did not have a cleaner house when my kids were in school -however I never had all 3 kids in school at the same time. Maybe I would have had a cleaner house if I got to the point of having 3 kids in school full time, but I doubt it.
I was messy before kids, and do not think this intrinsic tendancy would have changed. Moreover, kids still come home and make messes, and I still would have had to deal with it. I also think there is a strong possibility I would be working more hours if my kids attended school full time - I would not be home alone for hours by myself getting things organised.

In my case the reasons I wanted to HS were stronger than any negatives associated with being messy.

I think the root cause of messiness (which can include being ADHDish, a visual spatial type person, and mental or physical health issues) are not going to magically disappear because kids go to school.

I think almost all people have issues of some sort -mine is messiness. I do not think HSing demands perfection from us, nor should it.

FWIW: here are a few things that have helped:

-remembering to leave time to clean up any projects.
-literally tying things to things. I have a hairbrush, the remote control and a pencil sharpenner tied to things so they will not go missing!
-we have issues with paper. My youngest (who is newly 7) LOVES it and will go through sheets daily. She drops them where-ever (and never want to throw any out). Sigh. I am buying a white board - less paper mess!!

Ditto on the above library comment. Many books can be renewed online. Learn how to do it - it will save you $$.

I do not have a daily scheduel - but I do have a weekly one - mostly centerred on big things such as outings. That is it, though!

Good luck!

Kathy

[LuxPerpetua]

I know a lot of hs-ing moms who have messy houses and are disorganized so I know it can be done.

We are Waldorf-inspired so for us organization is rather important (and I'm the kind of person who feels horribly overwhelmed if things aren't in their places). What has helped us was having certain times for picking up (before each meal and before bed) and on Tuesdays I spend 2 hours cleaning our apartment. I think it helps that we live in a small space so that I can actually do a great deep cleaning in 2 hours. DD (age 4) is free to help, play by herself, or get a bath while I clean. I'm really dedicated to cleaning EVERY week because if I don't it will be MUCH more work the next time I do (it's like the dust quadruples or something). If it's any consolation I did very little cleaning and organizing when my child was 2.5. I didn't get more regular with it until she was 3, and by then it was a lot easier because she was older. DD is 4 now and things are even easier now. Right now I have a big plastic bin under our sofa with hs-ing supplies. As dd gets older I'm hoping to have my own dedicated bookshelf and cabinet for things to keep them all in one place.

I hope you find a solution that works for you! And definitely cut yourself some slack with 2 little ones underfoot soon.

[mom2ponygirl]

Evidently you can be a disorganized mess and homeschool, because I have done so for the past 6 years. LOL

One of the best ways I found to keep my house clean was to start offering a weekly math club at my house. Nothing like a little outside pressure to get you going! Even a once a month book club, or art club, or whatever you and your child are interested in will do the trick!

[meetoo]

I wouldn't worry to much right now. You have a 2.5 yr old and are pregnant. After you settle in with your new little one and life calms down, you can try some routines for cleaning/organizing.

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

i'm in a similar situation as you. I am feeling doubts about homeschooling partly because of never feeeling on top of chores, but mainly because i feel my schedule is disorganized. My ds is nearly 3.5 and i wanted to get a better schedule at 3 but it still hasn't happened. I think from what i've read from others posts is that they go 'out' a lot, as in library readings, homeschool co-op's, playdates, etc. We just got a gym membership and my dh was saying that we should have set times to go to the gym, and I am thinking on starting the schedule from there. If i start there in the morning then i can build from there and then start scheduling trips for ds to the library etc, and then we will put in 'school' time, cooking time and cleaning time. I was going to restart this now, but i am thinking i will do it gradually until the new year and then start the schooling then.

Like you, i too know the problem lies within as far as being organized, but i thinking if there are outside events, that will get me more organized, at least i hope!

[meetoo]

Originally Posted by accidental_hs'er

We are very relaxed homeschoolers though, with no agenda for each day. When we feel like math, we'll dig it out and spend several hours blitzing through a few chapters. Plus your children are young - I find it gets easier as they get older. They can be doing some worksheets at the kitchen table while I sweep. I am just at that stage now, though, with a 4 and nearly 7 year old.

Ugh this is me. I am always racking up fines.

[mamasaurus]

I'm sure you could home school and be a messy person. Others here have testified to that!

But what you might focus on for the next 3-4 years is just getting into some good routines/rhythms for your life in general - forget about the home school part for now.

You have a 2.5yo and a baby along the way. That is enough on anyone's plate to be disorganized about. I have two children who are the same age range apart. They are now 7yo and almost 5yo. Life is MUCH more organized now - just because they are older and can help out. But I have been working really hard with them to learn how to get and stay organized.

Over the next 3-4 years, I would work on instilling in yourself - and them the habits of getting and keeping things in their places, picking up after oneself, routines, rhythms, to-do lists, etc. There are many good resources online for this sort of thing. You might start by going to the Decluttering, Organizing, and Simplifying forum here on Mothering for starters.

As they get older, simple charts made up in Word with steps on keeping things organized are very helpful. I have one right now for my older DD on the steps to getting her homework done each day (she is in school, my younger is homeschooled.) The chart was made in Word using tables and clip art. It goes step by step on how to get her homework done, like this:

1. Come home
2. Take backpack to classroom
3. Do homework
4. Have Mom or Dad check homework
5. Put homework in backpack
6. Put backpack by steps for next day

Each of these steps has a cute little clip art picture next to it for a visual reminder. There are check-off boxes for her for each day of the week - as she completes each step, she checks off the box next to it. It is a good way for her to easily break down "getting homework done" into easy to follow steps. We will probably do this for a month or so until it really becomes a habit for her.

I would say even with your 2.5yo, you could get a simple chart going for her for something. Like your bath time routine perhaps, or bringing dishes to the kitchen and putting them in the dishwasher.

[Daffodil103]

I couldn't help chuckling to myself when I saw this thread. Not only am I messy, I'm also a bit scatter-brained. Make that a lot. I still homework. Now, I don't know whether our homeschooling is a success or not. Time will tell.

I also found myself nodding vigorously to a lot of the brought up by PPs. I've almost given up on the library. Who knows how much I've paid in library fines? Now I check out our libraries' Used book nooks esp for stuff like social studies, science and older kids classics. Pros: (i) I have an assortment of resources that I can customize for just about any subject. (ii) Sometimes my DD is initially not interested in a book then she'll pick it up one day & just plow through it. (iii) We are supporting our local libraries. Con: It can add to the clutter. Our libraries have digital media as well, which help avoid late fees. I've tried it a few times. Seems fairly easier.

The other thing that's helped me is planning my work. I don't follow my plans to the dot but it helps me think through what I need to do. Sometimes I plan & never actually look at the plan again. It just helps me get the big picture.

Having people over also helps me spruce up. I wish I had insisted that the kids tidy up everyday when they were young...

[Marimami]

Ah, if we can do it, anyone can!

We're a homeschooling family of just 1 kid. But, DH is the primary homeschooling parent and SAHD. I work full-time, but I telecommute. So, basically, it's all 3 of us at home all the time. They do things out of the house daily, but still, it's very hard to keep a house organized when all the people and creatures (4 cats) are home most of the time (as opposed to all off to work outside the home or daycare/school).

DH is not naturally inclined to organization. We probably argue more about the cleanliness of the house than anything else. I go through and organize the Big Things semi-regularly--like books, etc. Right now our craft room is in total disarray and has been for weeks as we rearrange it. I have just gone through most of our non-fiction books and organized them into magazine files on the shelves. All of us were tired of not being able to find certain books. DD wants me to do it to all her books!

The library is a huge source of contention for us. He had to pay $50 in fines a couple of weeks ago and I lost my flipping mind. It's a horrible library too; it's for one of the local towns, but compared to another county system they have practically nothing except it's far more convenient. The larger one is further, but they are always giving you breaks on the fines. I think it's worth the gas to just go to that one for now on.

DD is inherently organized and very drawn to structure. I think we probably drive her a bit crazy. She's the one who has basically asked for more consistency in how we do things for homeschooling. She knows what she needs better than we do!

Good luck!
Holli

[Tjej]

I write the library book due date on my calendar, put the list of books on the calendar's hook too, write RETURN LIBRARY BOOKS on calendar again BEFORE they are due - a few days (so I can renew them online or possibly return them on time). That system currently works pretty well for me.

Tjej

[Nemesis]

I agree with everyone else. I am disorganized and a generally "messy" person. We are doing pretty good with homeschooling. I have a small file folder (kind of like a workbox system, but just one box) and a shelf for curriculum. All other educational stuff is just on the shelves with regular books and games so we can all use it.

We haven't found a strict schedule to be of any help to us, but a more relaxed general routine has been good. I've also admitted that I don't like being rushed and too busy, so too many activities are out for us.

[mum06]

I have a 7yo, 6yo, 4yo, 18mo, and due in April and I homeschool. I have a scatter-brained husband, a live-in FIL, a dog, two cats, and I'm a Cub Scout Leader. Many people need me all day (and night) long. I am messy, disorganized, and almost always thinking about finding the magic bullet that will help me "do it all."

I remember when I had only one little guy with another on the way...sigh...those were the good ole days

So my advice to you is: start now. Get your house cleaning routine down (flylady.net is a good starting point) so as your kids get older it is easier to incorporate them into their own routines and it is easier for you to stay on top of your responsibilities. Unless you are leaning toward a more unschooling/relaxed homeschooling lifestyle, you will need to invest more and more time into your children's studies/activities. When this is competing with your time for cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, bathing...well, life does get overwhelming.

You are right on when you worry about raising the kids in disorder. If you hop over to the simple living/decluttering thread (I can't remember exactly what it is called) you can read posts about people who grew up in a messy/diorganized home. I had to move in with my FIL over the summer-talk about messy and disorganized! I went from slightly overwhelmed to feeling like I need to put my kids in public school and hire a maid just to get out from under all this...STUFF! And I'm seeing how the mess is affecting everyone around here.

So, I am right there with ya, only I've been doing it longer and I have more kids And it is a struggle to find the balance. So you are not alone...you just have more time to get ahead of the game! Good Luck!

[Momma Aimee]

Originally Posted by accidental_hs'er

.

One of my biggest problems has been library books. We have 2 libraries (in different towns - one is for a co-op) and I am always scrambling to find them all and get them back on time. I solved this by getting the same number of books each trip so I always know exactly how many need to make it back into the car. I also plan to go to the library the same day each week and return all the books - that way even if we miss a week I still have 2 more to cover myself. When you take out 40 books at a time, late fees can rack up quickly

jumping in here with a suggestion.

My momma buddy has 7 kids (well 9 but the 3 months olds do not check out a lot of books).

She has two BIG baskets --- they started as laundry basekets, but not are nicely lined -- and that is where libary books stay. you can take them out to read them, then they go back.

(now of course the older girls -- the teens -- can keep the one they are reading in their room, or whever but she says even the older girls, being so used tot he system, if they check out 2 or 3 will leave the ones they are not reading in the master basekt too)

everyone knows when cleaniing up -- be there night the dining room, the living room, or the hally / etc -- all lib books go back in teh lib book baket.

a centeral location makes taking them back, and keeping track of all of them, a lot easier.

jsut an idea.

[phathui5]

On the up side, you have a couple years before you actually have to worry about doing any homeschooling. That gives you lots of time to get organized, figure out a system for the house, etc. For myself, I've found that having the house decluttered makes me happier in general.

[Momma Aimee]

Originally Posted by phathui5

On the up side, you have a couple years before you actually have to worry about doing any homeschooling. That gives you lots of time to get organized, figure out a system for the house, etc. For myself, I've found that having the house decluttered makes me happier in general.

Yes to THAT

My oldest is 4 -- we do some stuff .. but i find i feel so much better as a person as a PARENT and about what is he leanring via normal life and play when the house is in order adn chorse kept up and i feel copentant about LIFE and MYSLEF

[dantesmama]

Originally Posted by Momma Aimee

jumping in here with a suggestion.

My momma buddy has 7 kids (well 9 but the 3 months olds do not check out a lot of books).

She has two BIG baskets --- they started as laundry basekets, but not are nicely lined -- and that is where libary books stay. you can take them out to read them, then they go back.

(now of course the older girls -- the teens -- can keep the one they are reading in their room, or whever but she says even the older girls, being so used tot he system, if they check out 2 or 3 will leave the ones they are not reading in the master basekt too)

everyone knows when cleaniing up -- be there night the dining room, the living room, or the hally / etc -- all lib books go back in teh lib book baket.

a centeral location makes taking them back, and keeping track of all of them, a lot easier.

jsut an idea.

This is what we do with our library books, and it works well for us. (We usually have about 40 items out at a time.) Also, we almost always go to the library on the same day of the week (Tuesdays) so everything is due on that day, and I keep track of due dates and renew things through the library's website. I very, very rarely rack up fines anymore - before, I used to joke that I paid so much in fines that they ought to dedicate a wing of the library to me!