I'm 23 weeks and looking at my first homebirth and NERVOUS - Page 2

[DogStar]

I wont go into too much details, but my husband and I didnt want to have kids, so we got him set up for a vasectomy, well, found out I was pregnant literally one hour before. So only one kid for us, but eventually I found my way to homebirthing and never looked back. I never once had any fear of the birth itself, I have a high tolerance for pain and I am not scared of it. My big thing was, this is my only chance to do it right. I was scared something out of my control would happen and I'd end up in a hospital and never have another baby to try again with.

I did Hypnobirthing, which was a great experience and a great class. We covered a lot about fear, about media caused, doctor caused fear can make labor 100 times worse than it needs to be. And that when you are scared your fight or flight response kicks in and that makes your uterus stop working. In the end I didnt use a bit of the hypnosis during labor... lol, I tried at the beginning, but the contractions snapped me right out of the trance. Then once I was well into labor, I didnt even want it.

I also did prenatal yoga which I think prepared me a great deal for the birth, I did use breathing techniques I learned there.

I recommend watching The Business of Being Born if you havent, and reading the Ina May book... THAT is the book that helped me the most, out of all the other books I read.

I walked through most of all the early contractions, and did some hands and knees and labor ball stuff. I tried laying down just to rest and that was like torture, if I had had to be strapped to a bed on my back through that, I would not be surprised if I had asked for an epi. In the end I only had hard labor for 3 hours, little to no transition and pushed through only 3-4 contractions for 15 minutes! We did a water tub which was wonderful. I did end up givng birth on my back, but I was floating in the water being supported by my mom and my husband. This just happened last Saturday!

It was wonderful and I have no regrets.

I say do what you can to erase or at least ease the fear, it will make the actual birth easier.

Sarah

[isras1]

I agree that "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Spiritual Midwifery", "Birthing from Within and Hypnobabies are great recommendations. I would also recommend (as you probably are aware of, you can rent these books through your local library, using the Interlibrary Loan system):
~ Active Birth
~ Homebirth by Sheila Kitzinger
~ The Home Birth Advantage by Mayer Eisenstein
~ Special Delivery by Rahima Baldwin


A good website that has a ton of info on homebirth: http://www.motherstuff.com/html/midwife-homebirth.html


A good audio documentry with Thin Air Media, a free podcasts:
Birth: A one-hour documentary about the practices and perceptions of birth in America at http://www.thinairmedia.org/birth.html


I think that the more you educate yourself about homebirth, it'll help ease your fears but will also help you advocate it for others that are thinking about it. I think this will help with your "walking your talk". You already intuitively know that homebirth is the right choice for you and your family but educating yourself so that you can intellectually express the homebirth option to others and explain why you chose that route, will tremendously help. As I'm sure you would agree, more babies born at home, the better.

I hope for the best for you during your journey.

[goinggreengirl]

I'm heading into my first homebirth in March, well first birth actually! I'd recommend reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth- It's very encouraging about what women's bodies were made to do- we were made to birth. If you have a normal, healthy pregnancy, everything should work!
Good luck!

[Lollicup]

Read Birthing from Within and take a course in it. We did the weekend course in Santa Barbara, CA (2 hours north of Los Angeles). This course helped me get over the huge fears I had and made me realize that I am stronger. I had a fairy easy labor and delivery at home and was able to conquer my "tigers."

[candelaria80]

I just had my baby in August, my first, and we had a home birth...it was wonderful! Like you I was nervous, not so much about the pain, but of what could go wrong. Like the women on this thread my mid-wife calmed my fears with facts and through knowledge I gained confidence in my choice and my body's natural ability to do what it was made to do.

My husband and I practiced the 'Bradley Method and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way' was our bible. We practiced the techniques at night before bed and it calmed both of us because we had a plan and a path.

For me the great thing about home birth is that you can make the experience whatever you want it to be. We wanted everyone there, we were so excited, but when those contractions kicked in I really only wanted my husband and sister with me (my mother was way to nervous) so we changed our plan. I walked outside, danced, used the birthing ball all the while being gently coached by my doula and husband and even though it was a long labor (about 18 hours) I wouldn't change a thing.

I think it is perfectly natural to be nervous no matter your birth plan, but you can do it!

PS-There is nothing more beautiful than being in your own home and feeling your baby nurse within minutes of being born...truly amazing!

[Lirazel]

I see you've gotten a bunch of good advice already. I feel a little sheepish adding my own since I've never gone through birth even once yet, but I'm getting close and don't feel nervous at all. I feel really well prepared. I took a Bradley class and highly, highly recommend it. We'll see how it really works for me when the time comes, but it has been so helpful to learn what it is that my body and baby do during labor and all the many ways to handle pain naturally.

[Sojourner]

Good for you being the only one in your circle of friends and relatives to have a homebirth! That takes a lot of courage. Just know that you really aren't the only one going against the grain. There are literally thousands of women in the US (me being one of them) who have made the same choice as you. You aren't alone.

[JenChaffee]

I am learning lots as I read this thread!

I am planning my first HB for my first babies. I am currently 35 weeks. I had not put much thought into home vs. hospital until I discovered twins. The OBs I was seeing were all about scheduling a c/s. (Maybe it was nice of them to offer it as a way to plan my holidays rather than have such a big unknown right around Christmas! Needless to say, I ran from them.)

There are times when I wonder if I am being naive for not being frightened of the birth, but so far I find myself not fearing L&D.

I have talked to many people who have had different experiences and have drastically different views on the whole thing. Here is what I notice.

The natural birth mothers, be they home or hospital, usually range from saying their birth experience was "fine" to "amazing". They explain that there were periods of discomfort, but nothing unbearable, and in the end, they loved BFing in their unmedicated condition.

The mothers who have only ever birthed using interventions (pit, epidural, etc.) often swear to me that they would never do it without and insist that I am crazy to consider natural childbirth and declare that I will regret it.

I think that what I am seeing here is this: It is ingrained in us to think that drugs make improvements. I think we find ourselves thinking "If the experience with the drugs was miserable, it must be unbearable without them." I wonder if my lack of fear has to do with my having no previous experience to compare to. I am suspicious that the drugs make it worse.

Best of luck!