Traditional Catholic Mamas -Winter 2010 - Page 8

[moonshoes]

Cherry Bomb, praying for you!

[BMG580]

CherryBomb - Prayers for your husband's job situation, big for the pregnancy news. Keep us posted on both!

[adoremybabe]

Baptism Outfit

I'd check out department stores like this one:

http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/SearchD...e&hdnOnGo=true

Hope this helps!

[CherryBomb]

Thanks! Right now we're waiting for his former employer to respond to the unemployment request. If that comes through we'll be okay till he gets another job. I have to go on pregnancy medicaid since we can't afford COBRA, which is embarassing, but I'll live. My first two hcg checks showed my levels doubling in 48 hours, I had my third draw today and I'll get the results on Monday. If they doubled again she'll probably go ahead and schedule an u/s for a week or two from then. (We've have to rule out ecoptic pregnancy since I've had one previously). I'm excited about getting to see our little one

[Attila the Honey]

I have a question that has been on my mind, and I thought maybe you all could help me.

I am in the process of returning to the church after 20+ years away. I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, but in my late teens I left the church.

I haven't yet met with a priest nor have I gone to confession. I am really, really scared! (so any love or support you can give me on that is much appreciated) So far by "returning to the church" I've mostly just been praying, reading a lot about what the church teaches, and praying more.

Here's the question - I am married to a man who is now a pagan, raised Catholic. We've been together for 20 years and our marriage is strong and we are happy. We have a daughter. My husband has zero interest in returning to the church and isn't very happy that I am, although he tries to be supportive. He actually has a lot of anger towards the church and while he's respectful of my decisions he has repeatedly said he will not "play along".

I recently read that if you are a Catholic and your marriage wasn't in the church you are living in sin and can't get communion until you get married in the church. Is that true? My husband will probably never agree to get married in the church, he would be very against that idea. Am I just stuck, then?

Also, can I get my daughter baptized without my husband being 'involved'? He doesn't object to her being baptized, but he doesn't want to have anything to do with it.

I know I should go to a priest with these questions, but I am having a lot of trouble taking that step. Any advice on going to confession for the first time in 25 or more years?

Thank you.

[JMJ]

Welcome! I'll answer what I can, and maybe the more knowledgable Catholic mammas here can fill in. First, I would recommend you visit http://www.catholicscomehome.org/ It was set up for people who are exactly in your situation and will have answers to a lot of your questions. You are not stuck staying out of the Church without your husband's support.

As far as Confession is concerned, when you do go in, tell the priest that it's been a really long time since you've been to confession or church and that you might need a little help with the process. Any priest I know would just be so happy for you that you are coming back and would happily walk you through the process and try to help you feel comfortable. One thing that really helped me feel more comfortable with confession was learning that it is a sacrament of healing. A lot of times, we think about going to confession as if it is a punishment that we have to humble ourselves enough to admit to a priest who may not even know us what a bad person we've been. Instead, the Church views it as a way to heal our souls, reconciling us to God. We still have to humble ourselves but the objective is healing, not guilt. I hope that helps you as it helped me.

[bluemaydie]

Originally Posted by Attila the Honey

Any advice on going to confession for the first time in 25 or more years?

Close the door!

When I returned to the Church after a years' long absence, I'd completely forgotten how to make a confession. I walked into the confessional and forgot to close the door behind me! And the elderly priest was kind of deaf! And I was nervous, which makes me get louder! I think everyone in line heard my confession, and I hope it made them feel better, because those were some wild years I was confessing.

Seriously, nothing you can say can shock a priest. Those are some strong men--they have to be. They already know we all crucified Christ; everything else is small potatoes. Afraid I don't know any answers to your other questions, but I'll say a prayer you and your husband find answers and peace.

[CherryBomb]

Originally Posted by bluemaydie

Close the door!

I totally did that my first confession! I was so nervous I forgot to close the door and Fr was like "uh...don't you think you should close the door?"

I'm not sure about your marriage since you were both Catholic. If Catholics get married outside the Church, the marriage is considered invalid, afaik. I wouldn't say it's sinful, but under normal circumstances you would want to have your marriage convalidated by the Church. Of course that's not easy if your husband isn't interested. Definitely something to speak with a priest about You can just call and make an appointment, just say you left the Church and you're interested in returning but have some questions. You could probably even go through RCIA even though you're already Catholic, but a lot of cradle Catholics who come back find it really helpful.

Don't hesitate to tell the priest you have been to confession in a very long time and that you're nervous and not sure how to proceed. He'll walk you through it

I'll keep you in my prayers, I'm so happy to hear you're thinking of coming home!

[simple life]

Originally Posted by Attila the Honey

I recently read that if you are a Catholic and your marriage wasn't in the church you are living in sin and can't get communion until you get married in the church. Is that true? My husband will probably never agree to get married in the church, he would be very against that idea. Am I just stuck, then?

As some one who is currently going through this , hubby just converted and we are waiting on two more marriage prep classes, then the Nuptial Mass yay!. So, yes, it is a sin, but only if you are not living as brother and sister (ie no marital relations). The living together is not a sin, but since having sex before marriage is a sin, and in the churches eyes you are not married, it's the sex that makes it sinful. But if you go to confession you should be able to receive. Of course, if you know you are going to be having relations again, I don't know what that does regarding the validity of your confession. I seem to recall that if you confess a sin knowing you will commit it again it's not good. I don't know the technical terms or anything like that, just something I seem to recall hearing somewhere.

Prayers for you though, and your husband, that maybe he'll be more open to the faith and at least to convalidating your marriage. In some places it's just a simple affair, you don't have to have the whole Nuptial Mass.

As for baptism of your daughter, I think it'll depend on which church/priest you go to. Some are more strict than others.

Julie

[Attila the Honey]

That is troubling. Obviously we will have relations again, and I think not would put a lot of strain on our marriage! I am sure it's not the church's intention of breaking up our (non?) marriage, but I really can't see dh ever being open to the church or sacraments again.

[simple life]

Originally Posted by Attila the Honey

That is troubling. Obviously we will have relations again, and I think not would put a lot of strain on our marriage! I am sure it's not the church's intention of breaking up our (non?) marriage, but I really can't see dh ever being open to the church or sacraments again.

I will send many prayers your way! I know what it is like to be there. I think not having relations would put a strain too! Especially since he wouldn't understand why. It did/does for us and my hubby totally knows why we can't! I would definitely talk to a priest though. I know for us, we go to the TLM ran by the Institute of Christ the King, and he said that we could opt to not have the mass, and it would just be I think vows and signing a paper. Maybe your husband would be willing to do just that. But I can also see him not, since you did say he has anger or hard feelings. I'm so sorry, such a difficult place to be in.

[PatienceAndLove]

Hello everyone.

I just wanted to ask for prayers. I am going to see Father tomorrow about starting the annullment process. I am sad and worried about it. It's just not something I am looking forward to doing.

[CherryBomb]

Prayers for you PAL!

[moonshoes]

Hi mamas, just keeping us on the front page!

I'm starting to get nervous about going through labor. I don't know why. I'm only 35 weeks, but you never know.

I meant to Mass today and it felt so amazing. And then I went grocery shopping and the opportunity be of service fell right into my lap. God is amazing how He works, when we allow ourselves to see it and say yes to His workings through us it is such a blessing. Praise God!

[BMG580]

Ladies, what are the fasting requirements during Lent? I know that one full meal only for each Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, but are there exceptions for pregnant and nursing mothers? My baby is so little right now that I am not sure I can really miss so many calories without it hurting my supply, though it is for only one day so maybe not? I've never fasted while breastfeeding so I am not sure?!

ETA: Nevermind, I just found the answer at Catholic Answers!

[moonshoes]

Happy St. Valentine's Day everyone!

[BMG580]

TLM mamas, what should I expect when I go the first time? Thanks for any info!

[BMG580]

Lent is almost here ladies, what are your plans for the season? I am giving up refined sugar/sweets, only eating meat 3x per week and I am going to cover my hair at Mass during Lent, which will probably be hard for me and help me with humility.

[frugalmama]

I'm not sure yet my plans - probably just coming back to the church 100%. I really need to start going to Mass again and go to confession monthly.


On the topic - what do you wear to Mass in cold weather? We're in TX, and it's almost always warm here so I don't have anything nice that is for cold weather - and this winter has been in the 30's and 40's daily. All I've got are sweats and I really don't consider them church attire.

[Ofwait]

Originally Posted by Charbeau

Ladies, what are the fasting requirements during Lent? I know that one full meal only for each Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, but are there exceptions for pregnant and nursing mothers? My baby is so little right now that I am not sure I can really miss so many calories without it hurting my supply, though it is for only one day so maybe not? I've never fasted while breastfeeding so I am not sure?!

ETA: Nevermind, I just found the answer at Catholic Answers!

I believe when you are pg or nursing you are not required to fast. I still diet modify, no snacks, no "extras", and keep my meals very simple.