I totally agree that attitude and expectation are key.
I wanted to at least try a natural birth, but homebirth wasn't something I would have considered. But when I was diagnosed with PIH at 28 weeks and started researching it, I knew that induction and/or c-section were very real possibilities, so I mentally prepared myself for that scenario. At 32 weeks I was diagnosed with severe preeclampsia and the baby needed to come out right away. It wasn't an emergency situation, but the perinatologist felt that the time it would take for an induction was just too risky. In other words, in another 24 hours, the baby could be dead.
Within 2 hours of the diagnosis, I had my c-section. It was scary, but mostly because I was very sick and having a 32-weeker and didn't know what to expect. The procedure itself wasn't bad. I had a great anesthesiologist who stood by my head and brought me a pan to throw up in when my blood pressure plummeted from the epidural and I got sick. My husband was brought in after I was all prepped. My son wasn't in good shape when he came out - first Apgar was 1 - but the NICU staff was amazing. Once he was breathing on his own and wrapped up, ready to be taken to the NICU, a nurse brought him over to me and let me talk to him and kiss him first.
DH went with him to the NICU, and the hardest part of the whole procedure was feeling alone and scared after they left and I was being stitched up. Once in recovery, my mom was allowed in, and DH came back with some pictures and updates on how our little dude was doing.
I was on magnesium sulfate for 4 more days, so my recovery was different from "normal", but I was able to get up and walk around without too much pain after that. I even went to Costco and Babies R Us on the way home from the hospital, 5 days postpartum.
My milk came in at about 3 days PP, and that was from pumping only.
With #2, I also had severe preeclampsia. I hadn't even considered a VBAC after all the complications with DS, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway when it was time to deliver DD at 34 weeks. I was much less scared this time, especially since I knew that DD would be ok. I was just happy to get past 32 weeks with her.
The procedure itself was again, not pleasant, but not awful. This time it was my OB doing the surgery, and I had the same anesthesiologist as with my son 4 years prior! DD came out much healthier than DS had, with Apgars of 5 and 9. DH got to hold her in the OR and in recovery, I got to have her in the bed with me. The nurses had us skin-to-skin, and I was able to bring her to the room with me, though later she ended up having to go to the NICU. I was able to nurse her in the room as well.
I was discharged 2 days postpartum, and the only day that I was in a lot of pain was the day following discharge - the Motrin wasn't cutting it for me, but when I got Vicodin called in for me, I was fine. I didn't have to take any painkillers past 1 week IIRC.
The most important thing with the pain is that you HAVE to keep ahead of it and take your meds on schedule. It's much easier to stay ahead of it than catch up with it. I had my tubes tied with DD, so there might have been a little more pain than otherwise. But it wasn't horrible.
With both kids, I had to pump at first, but was able to successfully transition them to the breast. DS weaned at 22 months and DS is going strong at 7 months.
My births weren't ideal by any stretch of the imagination, but I am grateful and fortunate that they both had good outcomes. My kids are happy and healthy, and so am I.
I hope this helps a little, and I hope you get the birth you want!
I'm still not convinced it was necessary, but...
) to keep me in the moment if I needed a c-section. To not allow the medical-ness to take over. To keep talking about the baby we'd be soon to meet, the birth that was still taking place.
