* Bitter Sushi Ladies ~ December *

[YummyYumYumMama]

Welcome to the December Thread Ladies!!!!

Most of us are former TTC 6+ Month ladies. And at this point, many of us are at or past 12 months, many have had losses, many are dealing with various forms of infertility, and some are just in a waiting period until they can TTC again.

The name? Well... we tend to be a little bitter sometimes. So read with care . And due to everything, our emotions run a little raw . This TTC business is something that seems to "just happen" for so many... but we just can't get "it" right. So this is where we can "be together", share and express anything.

Some of us have gotten a little quieter lately... there is only so much you can post in the "I want to be PG, but I'm not" category. However we are here in spirit and most likely LURKING!

~Current Bitter Sushi Ladies~

JustKiya - Married to my darling DH for 5.5 years, TTC#1 since March 2007, diagnosed with PCOS in 06/08, on Metformin since, one CP.

KellyTTC#1 - TTC#1 since June 2007. Currently hoping and waiting for IUI#2.

ladyjools - I'm a 25 year old Scottish girl with DH for nearly 6 years and TTC for 5. We lost our baby boy, Samson, at 16 weeks in July and are now TTC again.

Rhiannon09 - Writer and grad student. Trying for rainbow offspring #1 since 1/08 with DP. Miscarriages in 5/08, 3/09, and 7/09. Recent BFP and very much hoping for a happy and healthy little one in June 2010.

Tear78 - 31 year old elementary school teacher. Married to hubby since 2006. Love camping, fishing, reading, and working in the yard at our beautiful new tiny little home. TTC #1 since May 2008, m/c 12/08 and 2/09. Seeking medical help and trying to remember when hope was strong and healthy.

enigo - TTC #2 with DS (06/06), mc 2/09 & mc 10/09.

Court - TTC #3 (dh's #1) since 08/08, Madly in love with dh and my boys and raising our family in the Pacific Northwest. Tried 2 iui's, decided to try naturally, against all odds, with male factor for awhile, until moving onto IVF in the distant future.

kparker - Waiting to be Ready. TTC #1 since 9/08 with male factor, now on a "pause". After job and insurance issues are resolved, hoping to move onto very successful IUI or IVF cycles next year.

jessica_s - Currently TTC #2 since 10/08, m/c 5/09. I've got 23 fertility friend charts, two angels, and one awesome little boy.

Grahnola Mum - Loving our wonderful family of me, DH and DD (12/07). TTC #2 since 11/08 with four losses.

BelovedK - Mama of 2 (14yo DS, 9yo DD). Wife to one incredible man. Residing in Central VA. TTC someone new since November 2008, m/c 7/09. An avid bellydancer, and firedancer, who works part time doing hair, and who is giving her loving energy nowadays more toward her DH than TTC.

Nanette56 - Married for 7 years to DH, DS (5) with two dogs, two cats, two horses and a bunch of fish. TTC #2!

MaerynPearl - Mommy to DS 6 and DD 4, m/c 02/02. Currently TTC our first with DF who is finally home from Iraq - 1 last try pre-wedding!

kel32brown - KelliSue, upstate NY mama, warmly married to FarmBoy and raising 5 little ones.

Carlyle - Our resident lurker... Tear's big sister, mama to Nell, and TTC #2 after a loss.

YummyYumYumMama - Muffin, wife to DH since 8/06, mama to DD born 12/07. TTC #2 since 3/09. Back with us after a break!

*Christel* - TTC with DH for two years and two months. Trying Clomid.

Lyndzies - TTC #1 with DP after early m/c 6/09.

BarefootGirl - TTC using Clomid to combat anovulatory cycles, m/c at 5 weeks 11/09.

aidanraynesmom - TTC with "Coastie" DH for 14 months - 5 cycles due to military/timing!

Schae - wife to T and mama to Luka. m/c in 2007. TTC #2 with PCOS since 3/09, 2 m/c in 2009.

Apricot - married 10 years, homebirth midwife, TTC since 11/08, m/c 4/09 and ectopic 12/09. Waiting 6 months to try again to allow my tube to heal.

Recent BFPs!
Stick little babies, stick, stick, stick....

jillc512 - TTC #3 since 9/08, due 5/1/10.
Jelinifer - TTC #1 since 12/08, due 5/8/10.
starkyld - TTC #1 since January 2008, due 5/22/10.
Pinoikoi - TTC #5 for 6 months, due 6/21/10.
Lisko15 - TTC #1 (or #3) for 14 months, due 6/26/10.
Praying4Baby- TTC #1 for 11 months, due 7/1/10.
colorbywords - TTC #1 for 13 months, due 8/10.
LZP - TTC #1 for 17 months, due 8/10/10.

Our Happy Graduates (from the 6+ Thread)

minsca - Seth ~ born 10/20/09 ~ 6 lbs 10 oz
KaliShanti - Zion Merciful ~ born 11/22/09 ~ 7 lbs 11 oz
Lauren 31 - after 15 months - due 02/08/10
Valid28 - after 9 months - due 02/04/10
Mrs_Lurker - after 14 months - due 2/14/10

Check in with us when you can Ladies!

And MrsTC We are thinking of you and hope all is well. PM one of us if you can!

Check out last month's thread here.

(Please let me know if your first page blurb needs to be updated in anyway. As well, new ladies are welcome, but please join with care.)

~~

[MaerynPearl]

Yay new thread!

[LZP]

Thanks for the new thread, YYYM!
kparker- I was wondering the same thing that someone else said- is he maybe saying he doesnt want kids, bc he is sad that you two are struggling? And if he says he doesnt want it, then the whole process won't hurt as much?
just my thought about it, based on what you described. Men often just shut out the bad feelings instead of dealing with them. I hope that you two can communicate and get back to a good place.

Tear - thanks for the updates on the graduates, it gives so hope... and EWW for your report cards. hope the work goes quickly and you can enjoy the end of your long weekend!

to everyone else! sorry i didnt do more personals, i'm not great at remembering from the other thread!

[YummyYumYumMama]

you can multi-quote all the messages you want to reply to in the november thread, then open the december thread in a new tab/window and hit reply, and it will say right under the textbox that you have X posts selected in another thread with the option to quote or de-select those posts. hit quote, and boom, all your quotes will appear in this thread. it took me forever to learn this, so sorry if you already knew, but that has totally helped me when shifting to a new thread!

okay so i said in the other thread that i'd "afm" in this post, so here it is. i am 6-8 dpo (as i've mentioned, temps & CM/+OPK don't correlate - trying to mentally think 6 so i don't test early) and feeling pretty normal for being post-O... tired and pukey! so not cool that i've been having that during my LP every month all freaking year. freakin' body. i'm having weird sensations of my uterus getting really firm and hard, like a uterine contraction, and i am totally obsessing over it. oh, i'm also having a weird decreased appetite thing, but i THINK this may have started before O so i don't think it means anything. also, my chart already looks more like my non-pregnant charts than the pregnant one, so i am obsessing over that as well. i just want to get a couple reassuring-looking temps in a row and then put the thermometer away and stop overthinking it. SIGH. i knew i was going to be too hopeful about this cycle.

anyway, things in general are pretty good. i hope you all had a good thanksgiving. we did! we just got back last night and it feels good to be home. i'm looking forward to december. what with DD's birthday, DH's family celebrates both christmas and chanukah (my family celebrates neither), and the fact that we'll be seeing a whole bunch of my family (uncle, cousins, brother, and more!) at the end of the month, it's going to be a very packed but very fun month.

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by YummyYumYumMama

yso not cool that i've been having that during my LP every month all freaking year. freakin' body. i'm having weird sensations of my uterus getting really firm and hard, like a uterine contraction, and i am totally obsessing over it. oh, i'm also having a weird decreased appetite thing, but i THINK this may have started before O so i don't think it means anything. also, my chart already looks more like my non-pregnant charts than the pregnant one, so i am obsessing over that as well. i just want to get a couple reassuring-looking temps in a row and then put the thermometer away and stop overthinking it. SIGH. i knew i was going to be too hopeful about this cycle.

I think you need to stop temping after you confirm O. I know, I know, easier said then done. When I first learned I was pregnant, literally the only signs I had was that I liked Red wine more then white wine and white wine tasted like poop. Also, I was hotter then ever before... not much other signs until AFTER my BFP at 13 or 14dpo. Also, I had a BFN at 11 and 12 dpo, so no TESTING early!!! I also had a yeast infection but I was battling that since about O anyways.

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by Lauren31

I think you need to stop temping after you confirm O. I know, I know, easier said then done. When I first learned I was pregnant, literally the only signs I had was that I liked Red wine more then white wine and white wine tasted like poop. Also, I was hotter then ever before... not much other signs until AFTER my BFP at 13 or 14dpo. Also, I had a BFN at 11 and 12 dpo, so no TESTING early!!! I also had a yeast infection but I was battling that since about O anyways.

lol didn't you keep temping for a couple weeks after your BFP too? And we all sat here yelling at you to stop :P

[colorbywords]

YYYM -Thanks!! I was really hopeful with all the spotting and hten worried about anovulatory cycles.. anyway!!

Thanks everyone! I'd feel much better if i could stop spotting though!

I'll probably continue to lurk in here.. you all don't know me well, but I've been hanging out on this thread for a few months and feel invested in all of you!

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl

lol didn't you keep temping for a couple weeks after your BFP too? And we all sat here yelling at you to stop :P

yes, that is why I said it's hard . I temped for about three weeks afterwards... hahaha

[enigo]

DH wanted to DTD this afternoon, I am 3dpo. I swear I'm supposed to be on break now!
I relented even though I haven't been telling him when it is time to do it, I would assume since he knows I just made him perform 2 days in a row (Whew!) that he would know something was up. I just don't want him to feel like a sperm donor so I gave in.

[jessica_s]

colorbywords - Sticky sticky baby dust to ya lady!

YYYM - thank you for the new thread! IKWYM about feeling every little thing in your body in the 2ww. I'm not sure if it's better or worse when you've got a ton of charts to compare.

engio - just for fun is good for ya!

I can't remember who asked me about the FB BFP announcement. I assume she was late because she wasn't trying but yes she said I'm Pregnant and then 2 days later said.. uh I read the test wrong. That's the second person who has posted a BFP without waiting for the pee to dry on the stick. Also the second person who's probably regretted doing so. :/

AFM- Well AF showed up for real last Wednesday. My LP is ranging between 11-13 days, so that's a little worrisome. I've got to call back about my thyroid stuff and DH WILL get his SA this week. He's managed to put it off for an entire cycle.
On a non TTC note we put up lights outside today and got our tree. It smells divine! My child is in the bathroom laughing and spraying water all over the place so I better go. Totally worth every high water bill!

[enigo]

If I check FF again, will it say I'm pregnant yet? Gawww 3dpo! Still? It's said that allll day.


At least everything is headed in the right direction. Egg...check. DTD on the right days...check. Now to wait. again...

Yeah I suppose DTD is supposed to be fun, but I think it quit being for fun when I started this mess over a year ago.

[kparker]

He has had the sterile diagnosis since fall of 2007. We came to terms with it and had all our surgery/IUI/IVF plans ready for when insurance and $ allowed... it was only after this trip where he was actually around a child that changed it all.

I talked to my MIL today about it. She agreed with me that if he did change his mind, and is going to stick to it, then she won't blame me for following my dreams. Damn, I love my MIL I think I'd be more sad than anything to lose my inlaws.

[sunwillshine]

Thank you for the new thread YYYM, and mostly, thank you all for the warm welcome and kind words at the end of November's thread.

enigo - I am always expecting FF to tell me something new and exciting every day, hour, and minute of the TWW, but it never does!!! Grrrrr! Why can't FF be more clairvoyant???

AFM - I'm bummed I feel the need to be here, but blessed to be surrounded by people who "get it."

I took a nice TTC break over Thanksgiving... although all my SIL wanted to talk about was TTC, it was actually refreshing because we were talking about HER TTC, instead of me. I didn't temp at all, and for the most part didn't stress about much of anything... just enjoyed playing with my nieces and nephew (8yrs, 6mos, and 2 1/2yrs, respectively) and spent some long-overdue time hanging out with family and friends.

Now back to reality. I'm so "meh" about TTC this cycle. My KD can't donate on expected O or O-1 this month, so we're doing O-4, O-3, and O-2 (i.e. Tuesday - Thursday this week) so I'm already feeling hopeless about this cycle being "it." But maybe feeling defeated before we even start insems will make the TWW less torturous. Lol.

Also, some weirdness today.... lots of brown/red-brown spotting today. VERY non-normal for me. Why oh why can't my body just be it's regular, predictable self?

[BelovedK]

I am still lurking

We "accidentally" BD last night and I had a temp drop. Time had flown (I wasn't keeping track), and I have fertile CM, but what are the odds thAt I would conceive now that we are in the position that we are in? (we also BD the night before, and the day before that

[Nanette56]

Originally Posted by YummyYumYumMama

okay so i said in the other thread that i'd "afm" in this post, so here it is. i am 6-8 dpo (as i've mentioned, temps & CM/+OPK don't correlate - trying to mentally think 6 so i don't test early) and feeling pretty normal for being post-O... tired and pukey! so not cool that i've been having that during my LP every month all freaking year. freakin' body. i'm having weird sensations of my uterus getting really firm and hard, like a uterine contraction, and i am totally obsessing over it. oh, i'm also having a weird decreased appetite thing, but i THINK this may have started before O so i don't think it means anything. also, my chart already looks more like my non-pregnant charts than the pregnant one, so i am obsessing over that as well. i just want to get a couple reassuring-looking temps in a row and then put the thermometer away and stop overthinking it. SIGH. i knew i was going to be too hopeful about this cycle.

Thanks for the new thread!!!
And hey those all sound like great symptoms! And look at the bright side, you're having them POST O. Everytime I get anything that feels like a pregnancy symptom, it's like right before O No pressure, but when are you testing?!

Originally Posted by colorbywords

YYYM -Thanks!! I was really hopeful with all the spotting and then worried about anovulatory cycles.. anyway!!

Thanks everyone! I'd feel much better if i could stop spotting though!

I'll probably continue to lurk in here.. you all don't know me well, but I've been hanging out on this thread for a few months and feel invested in all of you!

What wonderful news! CONGRATS! STICKY VIBES!!!

Originally Posted by enigo

DH wanted to DTD this afternoon, I am 3dpo. I swear I'm supposed to be on break now!
I relented even though I haven't been telling him when it is time to do it, I would assume since he knows I just made him perform 2 days in a row (Whew!) that he would know something was up. I just don't want him to feel like a sperm donor so I gave in.

They only want it when we don't need it. They just "know." I think the frequency with which we ask for it when we're fertile makes it that much more difficult for them to go for more than a couple days without- which sucks, because it's then that we need a break!

Originally Posted by jessica_s

AFM- Well AF showed up for real last Wednesday. My LP is ranging between 11-13 days, so that's a little worrisome. I've got to call back about my thyroid stuff and DH WILL get his SA this week. He's managed to put it off for an entire cycle.
On a non TTC note we put up lights outside today and got our tree. It smells divine! My child is in the bathroom laughing and spraying water all over the place so I better go. Totally worth every high water bill!

I have a friend IRL that went to her first appointment with the RE. She told her DH that all he'd have to do was hold her hand (he was deathly afraid of the SA for some reason) and the doctor said- hey while you're here, why don't you do an SA- he couldn't very well refuse, so he did it She really had no idea the doc would do that, but it was funny all the same! I hope you get some good news soon

Originally Posted by kparker

He has had the sterile diagnosis since fall of 2007. We came to terms with it and had all our surgery/IUI/IVF plans ready for when insurance and $ allowed... it was only after this trip where he was actually around a child that changed it all.

I talked to my MIL today about it. She agreed with me that if he did change his mind, and is going to stick to it, then she won't blame me for following my dreams. Damn, I love my MIL I think I'd be more sad than anything to lose my inlaws.

He changed his mind completely about the whole thing? TTC is hard enough as it is with support from your DH, I couldn't imagine doing it without the support. It must be so hard Here's a great big You're in our thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated.

Originally Posted by Lyndzies

AFM - I'm bummed I feel the need to be here, but blessed to be surrounded by people who "get it."

I took a nice TTC break over Thanksgiving... although all my SIL wanted to talk about was TTC, it was actually refreshing because we were talking about HER TTC, instead of me. I didn't temp at all, and for the most part didn't stress about much of anything... just enjoyed playing with my nieces and nephew (8yrs, 6mos, and 2 1/2yrs, respectively) and spent some long-overdue time hanging out with family and friends.

Now back to reality. I'm so "meh" about TTC this cycle. My KD can't donate on expected O or O-1 this month, so we're doing O-4, O-3, and O-2 (i.e. Tuesday - Thursday this week) so I'm already feeling hopeless about this cycle being "it." But maybe feeling defeated before we even start insems will make the TWW less torturous. Lol.

Also, some weirdness today.... lots of brown/red-brown spotting today. VERY non-normal for me. Why oh why can't my body just be it's regular, predictable self?

You know (having been here for a while) that O-4, O-3 AND O-2 can get you pregnant just as easily as O-1 and O But I know that "Dammit I missed my window" feeling happens to all of us, even though sensibly you know you REALLY haven't. Hope this is your month Lyndzies!!!

Originally Posted by BelovedK

I am still lurking

We "accidentally" BD last night and I had a temp drop. Time had flown (I wasn't keeping track), and I have fertile CM, but what are the odds thAt I would conceive now that we are in the position that we are in? (we also BD the night before, and the day before that

OOOOOOHHHH!


AFM- Today's test day. Have that HSG at 1pm EST. I'll drop in to let everyone know the verdict. My F/U with my own RE is this coming Monday, so the next week will be a week of answers. Finally. Anyway, have a great Monday everyone!! xoxoxoxo

[JustKiya]

Thanks for the new thred, YYYM!!!!

Congrats colorbywords!!!!

AFM - had a horrid, amazingly bad, totally ugly CD1. And now, I'm back on my usual, level keel. Hormones are a mug. And, we had an utterly fabulous Thanksgiving, too. I'm gonna be on lurkeriffic status for a while, methinks. *nod*

[LZP]

Nanette- I can't wait to hear the updates rom your appt today and next week. I really hope you get some great answers, and that the HSG clears out the "pipes" today!

YYYM- I think those are all good signs. and although you DO have them during your LP usually, i think this might be "the" time! Maybe we can go over to that Aug DDC together?


Tear- i hope you made it out of Report Card He!l alive last night! check in and let us know how you're doing otherwise, mama, even though you're "lurking" only. And, tell Carlyle we say hi too- I'm thinking of her!

Kiya, good to see you back to your normal self. ! that AF can really make us not our best selves.

Lyndzies, i have to agree, that while the timing might not make you feel that optimistic for next month, those are still great days to insem. and will totally still lead to a BFP.

Jess- I was the one asking about the FB announcements. Now, on one hand, i feel bad for those girls who might have been embarassed, but on the other hand... come one! making that announcement to everyone you know the second you find out?! maybe it will teach any others who might have been tempted.

AFM, I was waiting to say anything until I knew something for sure... but can't keep it in any longer. This morning I called the MW to get some blood work done for betas later today. I am still in a little bit of shock, and a LOT of disbelief, esp since I took only 2 ICs yesterday, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. There was definitely a line, darker on the second one, but still quite faint. I am only 13dpo today, and as you all know, i pretend to be able to hold out, but totally couldnt. i am having some cramping, which now i cant remember if it's normal for me pre-af or not... and some weird twinges, which I always have anyway. other than that, no symps at all... i dont even know what brought me to test, except that I'm compulsive.
I am still waiting for a call back, bc they "Dont normally do a quant unless you are miscarrying" according to the girl who answered the phone. well, thanks for being so sensitive... so I told them, "I have a history of loss" so hopefully, a MW will call me back and i can go in this afternoon. I've been waiting 2 hours for a call back, and it feels like an eternity.

I know this news might sting a bit... i was unsure whether I should even say anything until it was "official" in 3 days or so, after 2 rounds of betas. But, the pessimist in me couldnt help but think how sad i'd be if it didnt work out, and how much I'd need you all to lean on. (so selfish, yes, I know.)

lurking in the August DDC I realized that already i won't really fit in. I might have to wait until things progress further until i officially join, since my optimism is not really all there. Right now it doesnt feel real, and I just can't get to that place yet...

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by LZP

I know this news might sting a bit... i was unsure whether I should even say anything until it was "official" in 3 days or so, after 2 rounds of betas. But, the pessimist in me couldnt help but think how sad i'd be if it didnt work out, and how much I'd need you all to lean on. (so selfish, yes, I know.)

lurking in the August DDC I realized that already i won't really fit in. I might have to wait until things progress further until i officially join, since my optimism is not really all there. Right now it doesnt feel real, and I just can't get to that place yet...

What news would sting? A BFP? Any woman that posts in this thread deserves one!

As for cramping, that could be a GOOD sign. and will reserve until you are ready to.

[sunwillshine]

Nanette and LZP - Thanks so much for your votes of confidence regarding my potential timing woes this month. I guess I just have prided myself in my timing, and am SOOOO type A... it just frosts my gizzard when things can't be "perfect." But I know that I've got a good chance still. Maybe a girl chance? Lol.

LZP - I am so so so cautiously optimistic for you!!! Please let us know the results! Even though I'm new here, it seems as though we're here to support each other in our tough times AND happy times (and, positive (lol, pun intended) news from people who have been trying for some time or have been struggling TTC keeps my TTChopes alive, personally). So, no jumpers from me yet since you aren't feeling it, but a HUGE and !

Oh, and I know what you mean about the August DDC. I've been lurking there, too (I'd just make it in under the wire *if* things work out this cycle.... wishful thinking).

[LZP]

Aww, thanks girls! Mae, I just meant, I know we all have wanted this so badly, and while we're all here to support each other, we all want it for ourselves, as much as we want for each other. so, it might be bittersweet for some. I have complete faith in my girlies here to be supportive and you all for it eternally!!!

Lyndzies- you could and WILL totally slide into the August DDC this time around... and I think Nanette, Tear, enigo and YYYM could make it in too, if I'm not mistaken.

sorry I dont know anyone else's cycles off the top of my head at the moment.. usually i try to catch up on where you all are in the morning.

still just being cautious here. I called the MW office again (yup, already a freaker-outer) just to make sure they hadmy message- and supposedly, I'll get a call before lunch. (uh oh, i forgot to ask her to specify what time lunch was! ha!) I hope i get to go over there today, and can have results in the morning., I dont really want to drive all the way to the REs office that is like 45 min away. but that might be better than just sitting here obsessing, right?