Playful Parenting anecdotes - Page 2

[Aletheia]

[QUOTE=emilys_mom1;14739512][QUOTE=Aletheia;14734310]Hi-
I went out to the living room to look, said, "well, he's not in here. you keep looking, DH, and I'll go back in the room and look some more." He was in bed, covers pulled up, eyes gleaming.

So did he stay in the bed though? I think that would work for me at first, but I think he would continue to get out of bed to keep playing the game. Mine is almost 4.

He does stay, but thanks for getting me to prepare for what's certainly coming! We played that little game again last night, to great success once more.

My initial response is that maybe at that point the fun and games are over, and the child needs to know that it is, in all seriousness, bedtime.

Other folks who have read more of Cohen, or parented longer-- what do you do when the kiddo wants to replay a game over and over, and thus preforms the undesirable behavior over and over? If we want to stick to specifics, what do you do with the kid who wants to pop out of bed to be lost and then found again?

[flower01]

Love this thread. I've been wanting to get the book. Love the ideas.

[Mom'n it]

I'm enjoying this thread too.

I'm wondering if there is any way to help deal with boundary issues while using this playful parenting? With myself and DS, and him around other kids. I'm not quite sure if that would fit, but I'm looking for any help! He's just not listening and not respecting other people's space. I tend to react very firmly (mostly because he's hurting other people ie, jumping on, pulling clothes, very excited behavior...), but I wonder if I can somehow make the dealing with this and him understanding it more seriously with a lighter approach?? I dunno. Just a thought.

I think a lot of this is about letting go. It's easier to be grumpy (sometimes) and it's easy to forget to laugh when stressed. This is a great reminder that struggles don't have to such downers! Laughter is way much better, methinks.

[Aletheia]

Mom'n it, if that were my child, I think I might make a game out of people having "personal space bubbles" that could be patted (air pat, a couple of feet out from the person) or "air hugged" and the like. Maybe run around. Maybe bounced off of. That would be a funny one for a really physical kid.

And the person inside the personal space bubble could decide when to push their own release button, dropping the bubble and opening them up to tackles/hugs/etc.

Just an idea!

[GoBecGo]

Other folks who have read more of Cohen, or parented longer-- what do you do when the kiddo wants to replay a game over and over, and thus preforms the undesirable behavior over and over? If we want to stick to specifics, what do you do with the kid who wants to pop out of bed to be lost and then found again?

You just sort of step in in that moment when the laughing is settling down and the child is happy and hasn't yet turned their mind to the next "game" and kiss them and say firmly "night night sweetheart". It sounds weird now i read it, but i can easily identify the moment when i can step in and redirect the situation. I guess you use the playfulness to avoid an ugly confrontation or change the mood before a tantrum appears, and then once the mood is smoothed out and happy again you can go on with whatever you were doing. I don't make EVERYTHING a game, i just use playfulness to diffuse problems and issues, and once they are diffused i go on with the original aim of whatever we were doing - for example tonight i was brushing DD's tight curly hair (always very snaggy and painful no matter how slow i go) and while i do it the "hairhog" (the hairbrush) "talks" to DD about how lovely her hair is, what she did today, how sad it is that it doesn't have a tail (DH whacked me playfully on the butt with it and the handle snapped off!) and so on. Then when her hair is done she thanks it. On the odd occasion she wants to go on talking to the hairhog the hairhog tells her (in his own voice of course) that he REALLY wants to hear the bedtime stories DD has chosen for Mama to read - and so she lies downso they can listen to a story.

[ihugtrees]

[QUOTE=Aletheia;14747957][QUOTE=emilys_mom1;14739512]

Originally Posted by Aletheia

Hi-
I went out to the living room to look, said, "well, he's not in here. you keep looking, DH, and I'll go back in the room and look some more." He was in bed, covers pulled up, eyes gleaming.

He does stay, but thanks for getting me to prepare for what's certainly coming! We played that little game again last night, to great success once more.


Other folks who have read more of Cohen, or parented longer-- what do you do when the kiddo wants to replay a game over and over, and thus preforms the undesirable behavior over and over?

Yes, this is my question about playful parenting too. My babe is only 6 months, but I have been a nanny for several years. I've tried the 'I'm going to get you!' game with 2 year olds running away from me, and the kids I've tried this with have repeatedly run away from me, thinking it was very funny. This is what has me hesitating about the whole concept of playful parenting (but then again, I haven't read the book yet. Hope that I don't have to deal too much with this for another year or so

[GoBecGo]

[QUOTE=ihugtrees;14754043][QUOTE=Aletheia;14747957]

Originally Posted by emilys_mom1

Yes, this is my question about playful parenting too. My babe is only 6 months, but I have been a nanny for several years. I've tried the 'I'm going to get you!' game with 2 year olds running away from me, and the kids I've tried this with have repeatedly run away from me, thinking it was very funny. This is what has me hesitating about the whole concept of playful parenting (but then again, I haven't read the book yet. Hope that I don't have to deal too much with this for another year or so

But "i'm going to get you" is NEVER going to make a kid stop running away from you. If you want the kid to come back you have to play "I'm a zebra and you're a lion, and i bet you can't roar and chase and catch me all at once!"

[OGirlieMama]

Getting my kids into the car has been a major pain for me since they were able to walk. They dawdle, play with stuff, etc. Lately I've had a lot of luck racing them into the car. They're not racing each other (because Faber and Mazlish told me that was a bad strategy ) - they're racing me. It's amazing that they always manage to get into their carseats and buckled before I even step into my own seat. Did I mention I'm the one who does the buckling?

[jewelsJZ]

DS1 gets easily frustrated when he can't get his coat on because the arms are pulled inside out or something. He'll start screaming and having a complete meltdown so I'll take the coat and say, "Listen here, coat. Are you giving ds a hard time? You need to get onto ds's arms right now or I'm gonna wrestle you. What? You're not going to do it? Well, okay." And then I pretend to wrestle with the coat and get it onto his arms, as if the coat is resisting and fighting with me. He thinks this is hilarious. Dd then asks me to do that to her coat.

This method also works with resistant socks, uncooperative mittens and belligerent pants.

[Mom'n it]

Originally Posted by Aletheia

Mom'n it, if that were my child, I think I might make a game out of people having "personal space bubbles" that could be patted (air pat, a couple of feet out from the person) or "air hugged" and the like. Maybe run around. Maybe bounced off of. That would be a funny one for a really physical kid.

And the person inside the personal space bubble could decide when to push their own release button, dropping the bubble and opening them up to tackles/hugs/etc.

Just an idea!

That's a great idea! I'll try it, and if you have any more, pass em along Maybe like a king midas type of thing.. like "oooh don't touch them, or they'll turn into gold/or a statue!" if that isn't a scary concept hehe

[themamamama]

Originally Posted by jewelsJZ

This method also works with resistant socks, uncooperative mittens and belligerent pants.

Belligerent pants.

I'm enjoying your examples, but not one of them would work for us. Has anyone tried playful parenting with an ASD kiddo? I love the idea, but DS does not respond to games the way most kids would. Anything I turn into a game just reinforces undesirable behavior.

[emilys_mom1]

Originally Posted by themamamama

Belligerent pants.

I'm enjoying your examples, but not one of them would work for us. Has anyone tried playful parenting with an ASD kiddo? I love the idea, but DS does not respond to games the way most kids would. Anything I turn into a game just reinforces undesirable behavior.

I completely agree with this. For my family, it just reinforces the bad behavior and they want to do it more so I will play.

[webjefita]

Love it, great thread!! I feel inspired.

Okay, more on pottying. I have a 3.5 yo who has stopped trying to get to the potty on time. He has a 7mo old baby sister. He started to regress when she was born, and also people kept comparing him to the baby (if you're going to pee in your pants, I guess you're a baby too) Argh!!

I used to be able to say, "Oh, I bet you're going to get to the potty on time! Good for you!" and he would run and say "I did it!" But now he REFUSES. Then he pees, takes off his clothes, and wants to be naked (more accidents around the house). Help! How can I be playful about this?

[sapphire_chan]

Over Thanksgiving, I had a good one. My niece, 4 yo, loves milk a LOT and will fuss if offered water instead. We'd been playing a game where she was drinking "coffee" at a restaurant with me as a waiter at lunch one day. Then the next day she started to get upset that my MIL offered her water and I thought quickly and asked if she wanted "coffee like yesterday?" She promptly agreed, but reassured my MIL (who hadn't asked) that the coffee was really water.

And she did happily have water for lunch, and only had two cups of milk that day. Which is what her parents had been hoping would happen, but they didn't think it was important enough to fight over.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by webjefita

Love it, great thread!! I feel inspired.

Okay, more on pottying. I have a 3.5 yo who has stopped trying to get to the potty on time. He has a 7mo old baby sister. He started to regress when she was born, and also people kept comparing him to the baby (if you're going to pee in your pants, I guess you're a baby too) Argh!!

I used to be able to say, "Oh, I bet you're going to get to the potty on time! Good for you!" and he would run and say "I did it!" But now he REFUSES. Then he pees, takes off his clothes, and wants to be naked (more accidents around the house). Help! How can I be playful about this?

Well, see if ECing his sister encourages him to use the potty too. On the playful end of things, make pottying a game, like watering pretend underwater plants in the toilet, or really set out a group of things you don't mind cleaning out, like a bunch of jars or something on a tray. Then he can try different games with that.

[moyer.amber]

Originally Posted by major_mama11

My DH is much better at Playful Parenting than I am, so here's one of his...

When DD is balking about going home from someone's house, refusing to put on her jacket, bracing for a standoff, he will make a big show of saying, "OK, I guess this jacket is for me to wear, then. Arrrghhh, how does this work..." and then he makes a big show of straining to fit his arms into her little sleeves.

Inevitably, she starts to giggle and grabs it from him and insists on putting it on all by herself.

that's lovely, my husband is much better than i as well...also he's smaller, stretched out a christmas onesie in fact!

[LankyLizards]

This thread is fantastic. I have been trying playful parenting techniques for the past few days and have already seen dramatically positive results. My DD is a very sweet girl who gets genuinely hurt when I yell at her. I have also realized that most of time she has the best intentions, so using playful "disciplining" really helps her. She giggles about whatever we are doing (which usually becomes tickling at some point) and then says "Ohh, I see now." She is 4. Another thing that helps is singing. Lots of making up silly songs, which she is much better at than me.

[AngelBee]

Love this book

[Aletheia]

linking to other similar thread (it's the archivist in me.)

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1184098