Originally Posted by _betsy_
I see you're a single mom, and honestly, in that case, I wouldn't be able to work 2nd shift without a LOT of family help.
As it is now, I work 4-11:30 p.m. and DH is home with our girls. There's two days a week when our work schedules overlap, and the girls go to the IL's house for a few hours.
Are you looking for another position with different hours? Could you live half way between work and your parents house?
There are no other positions available at my job, and finding another job in Michigan- especially in my area- is unrealistic. We are looking at about 20 percent or more unemployment where I am. In my field there are only 2 employers in the area, and probably fewer than 30 in the whole state. All of them would require nights and/or weekends for my type of job.
The city that I'm trying to move to is roughly halfway between my parents and my job, but my mom isn't able to drive at night, so she is only able to do 2 nights of daycare (staying over two nights and going back on the 3rd day). I wouldn't ask her to do more than that.
My first thought was to have her do Thurs/Fri night, and then take DS with me to work on Sat/Sun which are my much slower and unsupervised days. I've already had the boss okay him coming to work with me on weekends, but the last couple times I've had him have not been fun at all. Like I said, he doesn't really have any interest in playing with toys, and when he gets loud and hyper, I have a hard time getting my job done. I've had to lean a lot on my one co-worker for support on those days, and I know she loves kids and seems to enjoy occupying his attention for ten or twenty minutes while I blast through some work, I still feel guilty about it.
Originally Posted by ilovemyavery
Have you had any luck finding home based care providers that would do night shifts? What time are you working? I see that you are in Michigan, depending on where you are in the state there is an agency called 4-C's, or Child Care Network, sometimes a couple other names, that coordinates child care in the county. They would be a good start, maybe try posting in finding your tribes for an MDC mama that could use some extra cash? Or a local Mom's group? I live in Michigan, and I work in this field, feel free to PM me if you would like a specific county referral to your 4-C's. Money is SOOOO tight for so many people around here right now, you might have luck finding someone who is willing to take him for your shift. I would think you would have the best luck with a mom, who is looking to help bring in some extra cash, not necessarily a licensed provider.
One note-- You might have to be willing to help him learn to go to sleep earlier, or find someone who could work on a gentle sleep transition. My DS and DD were AWFUL nappers. I was terrified of how they would handle the transition to child care. And honestly, they did have trouble learning to fall asleep on their own, on a cot. However, we had wonderful care givers who sat with them, rocked them, rubbed their backs, etc. I was honest with them that it would be an issue, but that I understood they would have to nap with the rest of the class. In the end it only took about a month, part-time, for them to figure it out and now it's fine.
I work from roughly 3pm to midnight, adding in commute time, I'm gone from about 2pm to 1am. When we first moved in with my parents, my mom was picking him up from an in-home daycare after she got home from work, then watching him until I got home. Then she would get up at 7am to get ready for her 9-to-5 job. We tried desperately to get him on a "normal" sleep schedule so that she could get enough sleep herself. Nothing worked. He kicked, bit, hit, pulled his hair and our hair, scratched himself and us and screamed so loud and long that we were positive
the neighbors would call CPS on us.
Truthfully, I'm afraid for him to be on a different schedule anyway. He is regularly sleeping until 10am or later. I'm able to get my homework done while he's sleeping, then go to bed about 3am and get a good six or seven hours sleep. We wake up and have time to play and read before I have to leave for work. On my work days, he's usually asleep when I get in, and sleeps solidly all night, whereas before he was constantly waking up and trying to fight going back to sleep. The difference between me as a mommy then and me now is night and day, the constant sleep deprivation made me a terrible person. I do not ever want to go back to being that mommy- not abusive, you understand, but bad enough to make me ashamed.
Definitely not GD, and not the mommy I'd wanted to be.
In any case, I will PM you about the 4-C's thing, which I had not heard of before. I've only found a few people who do 2nd shift care, and none that I've been comfortable with who will do 2nd shift on weekends. I'm still toying with the idea of just sucking it up and taking DS in with me on weekends, and hoping that he will adjust to it enough that I can get my work done.