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My son, his doll, and rude comments. - Page 3

post #41 of 65
Originally Posted by SarahElizabeth View Post
It winds me up. DS loves pink. He has a little pink rabbit toy he takes everywhere with him. I swear, if i got a penny every time someone made a negative comment about it, Christmas would be easier this year!

For the most part, i ignore comments, but my brother was not so passive when I visited my family.
Sister: OH MY GOSH! Your son is wearing a necklace!
Me: Yes, he is.
Sister: BUT HE'S A BOY.

.. Maybe you had to be there, but it had me in hysterics.
your brother rocks!
post #42 of 65

When my oldest was 2, we offered to buy him a new toy if he gave up his pacifier. We went to the store, and he picked out what he wanted...a baby doll that he named Cosmo. He loved that baby so, so much and never asked for his paci again.

Cosmo is now in retirement, as ds is 9.5 now and doesn't play with him anymore but I still think of that time fondly.

We never got any bad comments, even when he pushed him around in a pink stroller...lol. Good thing too, I would have some choice words for any critics...since when does baby doll equal gay? So weird....
post #43 of 65
My son has a doll and I get that from his Da and his Da's friends ALL the time. Which it's like you said, I have no problem with my son being gay, but if he's going to be gay, it's not because he played with dolls when he was little.

My son started playing with his doll when he found out I was going to have a baby and I explained to my husband it would be good practice for being a big brother, but he still doesn't like the idea of my son and dolls.
post #44 of 65
I hope the ladies of the world who think boys should not play with dolls are not put out when the fathers of their kids don't help out with childcare r housework.
post #45 of 65
I used to babysit a little boy who did ballet and had a Barbie that he loved. Looking back, it's astonishing to remember how even waaaay older boys--even teens!--would look down on him for it, make nasty comments about how he was going to turn out gay, etc.

My eldest son(3 y/o) likes to paint his toenails pink (like mama's!) and loves Dora. When DP starts acting all "oh noes it's pink again" I just say something to the tune of "a color never made anyone gay". That said, sorry I don't have better advice.
post #46 of 65
Wow, I'm really surprised at the "It's going to make him gay" comment. I have to say that I would probably avoid hanging out with such a homophobic family.
post #47 of 65
Originally Posted by zoe196 View Post
same thing with my son getting "girly" stuff in the pass the parcel a a children's party and being happy with it. Other boy's reactions to getting the pink, sparkly stuff ranged from disappointment, tears and sulking right the way through to outrage and temper tantrums--- I was really shocked at how strong the gender conditioning is from such a young age
I honestly do not believe that is gender conditioning. I think many boys just prefer trucks, and planes, and such to pretty sparkling things. My son has a glow worm and a stuff cat.. he prefers to sleep with tranformers.
post #48 of 65
that is awful! like one of the previous posters said, id probably avoid this family and any other that was rude about my childs toy preference. i remember being upset as a kid because i wasnt allowed to have hot wheels or action figures because they were 'boys toys'. i had 1 ken doll and at least 30 barbies. *puke*
post #49 of 65
Both my boys like girl stuff & boy stuff. My little one likes to carry my handbags.They love lip gloss,& dolls.

They still enjoy playing cars,bikes,dirt,and superheros.

My older Ds just found a long skinny cardboard box & is pretending he is a knight.This is the same kid that had me make a doll house for his superheros.

I loved playing with toy cars in the dirt when I was little.I am now as ladylike as you can get.

I have had comments made about the stuff they like.

People are really rude with comments about being gay and stuff .I think boys playing with dolls is healthy & will make for more kind men when older.
post #50 of 65
Originally Posted by EarthRootsStarSoul View Post
Some people just don't 'filter' their thoughts before speaking.

My boys have dolls. My now-exH threw one away when I bought it for my son. So I kicked him out and bought a new doll.
I think I'm in love...you rock!

My DS really likes to paint his nails. Last summer he had blue nail polish on and I could not believe the ridiculous and hurtful things people said to him. I tried to teach it into teaching moment.
post #51 of 65
Dh has a very progressive aunt who does lots and lots of thrift store shopping looking for the perfect gift. When DD was born, the entire gift was duck themed - duck books, clothes, toys, wrapping paper, it was really cute. Anywho, her "big brother" present for DS was a little baby doll wearing an old fashioned white dress and a book titled "William's doll", which is a story about a little boy who wants a baby doll more than anything in the world, but his brother makes fun of him for it and his dad buys him a ball and a train instead. It is strait out of the 70s. It's a great thought, but I eventually removed it because I didn't want DS thinking there was anything wrong with dolls to begin with, even though the message of the book is that boys can learn to nurture and have dolls too.

I don't see the difference between DS nursing and rocking and singing to his dinosaurs or cars than doing it to a baby doll.

And we get that gay comment from my dad all the time when DS wants to wear my bracelets or carry my purse or wear my high heels (none of which I use anymore, so I'm glad they're getting some use).

I tend to be very blunt, so I probably would have just said, "That was a very inappropriate comment."
post #52 of 65
Wow, I so want to ask your friend's dh if he's gay. He's a father, after all, and he claims that men with babies are gay. And he clearly feels it's bad to be gay, which is probably why he's been hiding it for so long. Maybe he should get therapy?
post #53 of 65
Originally Posted by musikat View Post
I am a lesbian and I LOVED dolls as a child. The frillier the better. I still have the doll collection my mom started for me. So what does that make me -- confused??
Well, I'm not a lesbian and I never cared for dolls as a kid. So I guess dolls just make people gay whether they're boys or girls?
post #54 of 65
People's ignorance is so infuriating to me. The whole boys have to wear all blue and girls must wear all pink. Certain toys are only designated for one gender or the other. Boys must have short hair. The whole thing is an outrage to me. My DS has a baby doll too, by the way, and I think it's an important tool in learning how to be nurturing. He also plays with trains, cars, etc. My MIL had the nerve to make a comment about a little boy she knew who loved Barbies and I flat out told her "So what, it's just a damn toy." Colors, toys, etc. do not make people anything.
post #55 of 65
My little brother's comfort item was a Corolle doll with vinyl head, forearms, and lower legs and a cloth body. He carried it everywhere for so long that my mom had to make new bodies for it 4 or 5 times. He slept with it until he was about 10.

People thought it was weird and said he'd be gay. My mom would reply that "that's the goal!" and they would laugh uncomfortably. Mom's plan didn't work out and my brother is now a big, bearded manly man who decidedly loves women.

I want to get DS a doll and I think he should have one. If anyone says anything about it I will either point out the logical fallacy of the statement or ignore them completely. I tend to think that people's stupidity doesn't deserve a whole lot of my time or effort.

to you, OP. You're a good mama.
post #56 of 65
This is an awesome book. Get it at the library some time.

William's Doll by Charlotte Zolotow

Here's a line to try if you don't particularly want to be offensive back: Why does he have a doll? He's practicing being a daddy.
post #57 of 65
OP, if it makes you feel any better...

My 3-month-old son just discovered the first toy he's really interested in, and it's a girl baby doll with pink flowery clothes on and a pink flowery hat, holding a pink star that lights up and plays lullabies when you squeeze her hand. He is so delighted by it and laughs and smiles and coos at her. I love it. I hope my son grows up to be sensitive and interested in babies, gay or straight!
post #58 of 65
my 5 year old has a baby he loves loves loves. when he was 3 and found out he wouldn't be able to actually make milk for his real life babies, he was mad! lol

as for boy dolls... are you looking for baby baby dolls, or just boy dolls. my three youngest have "little friends" by nova toys. they are perfect size for little kids to carry around, fit great in a sling and they have boys and girls and they are fairly cheap. those dolls hold up well to lots of little boy play and love.

post #59 of 65
My uncle was the youngest child with two slightly older sisters. He spent the first several years of his life with longer hair, dressing up in dresses, playing with baby dolls, etc. He's been married for 25 years and has 9 children, so I guess my grandma managed to not properly gay-ify him.

I HATE gender stereotypes, something I inherited from both of my grandmas. My cousin had a girl back in October, and my grandma sent me shopping for the baby shower with the explicit instructions for NO PINK! Impossible! After hours of searching, I managed to find three cute non-pink outfits. I later told my SIL (a very traditional, mainstream mom) that when I had babies someday, I was not going to dress my daughters in pink, save for maybe one or two outfits. My two favorite colors are purple and green. She said "Oh, but you'll want people to know your baby is a girl!" Uh...why? I know my baby is a girl. Does it even matter? I think when we're talking infants and young toddlers, gender doesn't mean anything. On the same note, I won't have those obnoxious "little man, tough guy, etc" type shirts for any sons. My poor sons will be hippies with long hair, baby dolls and purple clothes...it's all part of the master gay plan, right?
post #60 of 65
That makes no sense. Don't straight men have babies more often than gay men? I mean, they are more likely to breed, after all.
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