I thought this would be more appropriate for the discipline section, so I'm posting here rather than Nighttime Parenting, but feel free to move if necessary!
I need feedback on how I'm currently handling a couple of bedtime issues with DS, because I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and sometimes I think I may be coming across a little harsh.
DS is 19 months old, and we have a flexible routine in place for bedtime (bath, brush teeth, book/music, nurse to sleep) that usually seems to work as far as calming DS down and getting him ready to sleep.
Sometimes he has trouble settling down, though, and I somehow end up chasing him around the room trying to keep him from re-setting our alarm clock (he likes to punch the buttons) or shoving all of his storybooks under the bedroom door and into the hall. With some things, like the books, I just put them up out of his reach when he starts sliding them under the door or throwing them, and I say, "We read books, we don't [throw/slide them under the door/whatever]." With other things, like the alarm clock, there's really nowhere for me to move it to, and no matter what I do (either saying "don't touch" or "not for DS...this is Mama's clock" and removing him to another part of the room) he makes a beeline back to the clock. Do I just keep saying what I've been saying and re-directing?
Also, sometimes when he tells me he's ready for his night-night nummies, he'll nurse for a minute and then bite. I admittedly get a little frantic
while trying to get him to let go, which he thinks is pretty funny. Then he thinks it's playtime and starts kicking and hitting at me (again, playful, not aggressive or anything) and rolling all over the bed. At this point, I've been saying something like, "We do not bite/kick/hit. It hurts and Mama is going to have to leave until you can stop." By "leave," I mean that I move off the bed and sit on a chair that's nearby, and stay there with no or minimal talking for several minutes. Once or twice, I've been upset (exhausted and flustered) enough to close myself in the bathroom (which is in the same room) for a few minutes, which really upsets DS because then he can't see me.
He gets a little upset even when I stay in the bedroom, and I guess I'm worried that when I tell him the part about "Mama has to leave," he thinks I mean leave entirely, like when I go to work for the day, not just leave the bed. But I don't know what else to say or do...? And if he starts crying or getting upset when I leave the bed, do I immediately return and comfort him, or still stay away for a minute or two?
Anyway, I do come back to bed after a few minutes and ask him to nurse nicely and tell him it's night-night time, and he usually goes to sleep pretty soon after that. So, am I handling this appropriately, and if not, I'd love to hear suggestions...? More than anything, I feel horrible about myself and the way I react to him because I'm out of patience by this time of the day, very tired, and completely cranky.
Thanks!
I need feedback on how I'm currently handling a couple of bedtime issues with DS, because I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and sometimes I think I may be coming across a little harsh.
DS is 19 months old, and we have a flexible routine in place for bedtime (bath, brush teeth, book/music, nurse to sleep) that usually seems to work as far as calming DS down and getting him ready to sleep.Sometimes he has trouble settling down, though, and I somehow end up chasing him around the room trying to keep him from re-setting our alarm clock (he likes to punch the buttons) or shoving all of his storybooks under the bedroom door and into the hall. With some things, like the books, I just put them up out of his reach when he starts sliding them under the door or throwing them, and I say, "We read books, we don't [throw/slide them under the door/whatever]." With other things, like the alarm clock, there's really nowhere for me to move it to, and no matter what I do (either saying "don't touch" or "not for DS...this is Mama's clock" and removing him to another part of the room) he makes a beeline back to the clock. Do I just keep saying what I've been saying and re-directing?
Also, sometimes when he tells me he's ready for his night-night nummies, he'll nurse for a minute and then bite. I admittedly get a little frantic
while trying to get him to let go, which he thinks is pretty funny. Then he thinks it's playtime and starts kicking and hitting at me (again, playful, not aggressive or anything) and rolling all over the bed. At this point, I've been saying something like, "We do not bite/kick/hit. It hurts and Mama is going to have to leave until you can stop." By "leave," I mean that I move off the bed and sit on a chair that's nearby, and stay there with no or minimal talking for several minutes. Once or twice, I've been upset (exhausted and flustered) enough to close myself in the bathroom (which is in the same room) for a few minutes, which really upsets DS because then he can't see me.He gets a little upset even when I stay in the bedroom, and I guess I'm worried that when I tell him the part about "Mama has to leave," he thinks I mean leave entirely, like when I go to work for the day, not just leave the bed. But I don't know what else to say or do...? And if he starts crying or getting upset when I leave the bed, do I immediately return and comfort him, or still stay away for a minute or two?
Anyway, I do come back to bed after a few minutes and ask him to nurse nicely and tell him it's night-night time, and he usually goes to sleep pretty soon after that. So, am I handling this appropriately, and if not, I'd love to hear suggestions...? More than anything, I feel horrible about myself and the way I react to him because I'm out of patience by this time of the day, very tired, and completely cranky.
Thanks!
