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December Queer Conceptions: My BFP would be the greatest gift this season! - Page 5

post #81 of 307
Papa -

katharinerose - welcome to the TWW! I've never had any issue w/ swelling... maybe it's the buffer that you have a slight reaction to? I do get itchy, though. I know, I know. TMI.

mkpgoddes - UGH! You sounds as confused as I am this cycle. And unfortunately I stopped using OPKs a couple months ago. I wish I was so I could at least have another fertility sign to point me in the direction of some answers. that whatever you end up doing leads you to your BFP!

AFM (xposted in BSL thread on TTC) - today's temp made FF move my O back to CD15 again. But I've got a very slippery cervix and slippery/stretchy CM now when I check inside. I just don't get it. I'm so confused and unsure now, for reals. (FYI, the dip to CL today is somewhat typical for me 4-6 dpo).

... I don't know what to think. Maybe I'll be temping a few days longer than I planned this cycle, just to try to make some sense of it as see if temps continue to confirm O at CD15... otherwise I don't know when to expect AF! This is SO strange for me!

However, I DID get my Sophie the Giraffe in the Mail yesterday (THAT WAS FAST!!!) so maybe the baby girl prophecy is still revealing signs to me for this cycle.
post #82 of 307
Hi all,

I'm back...sort of. As you know, we had to terminate our pregnancy due to a non-viable condition in the fetus. After an incredibly difficult few weeks (we had to wait to confirm the diagnosis by ultrasound, then had to find a provider willing to do the termination, then had to deal with insurance refusing to pay for the abortion), we ended the pregnancy last week. I'm still mourning a lot, vulnerable, and hormonal, but more or less doing ok. As all of you academic nerds know, it's the end of the semester, so I have that to keep me busy.

Anyway, I'm telling you all of this as a check in, but also to officially let you know that I'm watching the thread, rooting for all of you and waiting to be ready...we're not sure exactly when that will be, but I still feel very much a part of the list. Osker, could you please move me out of the October BFPs and to the waiting list?

Sending lots of love and fertility vibes,
Beastie
post #83 of 307
Thread Starter 
updated to here...

Beastie, I'm so sorry that you're back here with us! Not sorry to have you here, you get it.

Afu: DW is convinced we're done for this cycle. She's not talking much, so I have no idea what to think. We're waiting for AF on Thursday and I'm wrapping up the semester... and waiting to be invited to at least one (please, oh please) internship interview. It's oh. so. fun. to be at our house these days.
post #84 of 307
*deep breath* Papa and Lyndzies, thank you for the gentle slap on the nose and the encouragement, respectively. Despite said fluke temp, all signs are aligning and we're insemming tonight and tomorrow. I did not keep testing during the morning/early afternoon, mostly because I needed a break and also because my lonely last OPK was at home and I was at work (I refuse to admit to how many I've peed on over the past week), but I did use it when I got back. Eggwhite has been flowing since somewhere between 9am and noon, so I'm assuming that my surge hit around then, and I got my smiley face at 3pm, so seems we are a go.

Osker, either tonight or tomorrow, please move me to waiting to know

It's REALLY nice to be in entering the tww....
post #85 of 307
Thread Starter 
MKP how exciting!!!!! Yippeeeee!

Consider yourself on the waiting to know team!
post #86 of 307
mkpgoddess, I'm so happy for you that you didn't miss O, and welcome to the tww!
post #87 of 307
Welcome back, Beastie. I'm so so very sorry about your loss. Please let us know how we can support you, okay?

Oh Osker, good luck with the ttw and the interviews! When dp was trying to get pregnant I was on the academic job market. Sometimes waiting for the interview calls and a bfp just felt like way too much. Let us know when you get a call!

AFM, we decided to do one more IUI and then if it doesn't take move on to IVF this spring. I'm traveling to give six talks this spring, so lord knows how this is all going to work logistically. I'm struggling right now with feeling like I've failed at thsi whole fertility thing. I'm not so good at failure. So this is rough. I know it's irrational, but sometimes I just can't "logic" my way out of feelign a certain way. Anyway, can I be moved in waiting to "o"? Thanks.
post #88 of 307
Beastie - so SO sorry you have had to cross back to "this side" of TTC. . Hopefully you'll only stay for a hot second before heading back to the other thread/DDCs. xoxo

osker - Sending you and DW "stay away AF!!!" vibes!

mkpgoddess - yippeeeeeee! I've got everything crossed for you!

cejae - I'm feeling you. I'm such a perfectionist, and every month I feel like I've failed at something; like for some reason is just me, that I can't "get it right." Hang in there and know we're all here for support. I'm hoping that you have to give those talks with an in utero guest.

AFM - If my O day and CL change one more time, so help me... I will punch FF in the face.

You all see a clear temp shift, right?

And the EWCM seems like it will never go away! I never thought I'd complain about having too MUCH EWCM. Lol. I feel like taking out the days and days of it so I don't have to keep staring at dotted lines.

All this ridiculousness aside, I'm making a concerted effort to refocus my energy for the remainder of this TWW (assuming that's where I am) and try, try, try to stay positive about this cycle.

I keep trying to remind myself that the things that have been "off" this cycle (the weird spotting right before O, the extended patch of EWCM) could be good signs! Because anything that's "different" means that it's not the same as non-pregnant cycles.
post #89 of 307
Osker and Megan - thank you My temp went down this morning and I have a feeling this is ovulation day. DW is coming home at lunch to do the second insem and then head back to work. This is a late work night for me...evening opera...and so the timing works out gorgeously.

Cejae - s I'm so sorry. I think TTC is one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations. Even if the stars align and your timing is perfect, there's only a 20% chance of it taking anyway. Ugh. Sending peaceful, affirming thoughts your way.

Lyndzies - you definitely ovulated, but I can see why it's shifting between CD 15 and CD 16, and it's not just the eggwhite. With that "slow rise" temp on CD 16, it really could be either day. Also, it's actually not that unusual for eggwhite to randomly appear at any point in your cycle after ovulation. It doesn't mean you continue to be fertile, because your egg came, saw and is working conquering...lol...it's just your body doing it's thing, albeit a random, new thing...

AFM - my wife made me laugh last night. After the insem, I headed for the bathroom and she said, "you may not pee on a pregnancy stick!" Apparently, I'm not the only one annoyed with all the sticks in the bathroom trashcan!
post #90 of 307
Papa: I'm wishing you all the peace in the world. And iPods are a very good "this sucks, and I need something fun for myself" gift. I got one after I got laid off, and I love it.

Lyndzies: I hear you on FF. It can drive a girl crazy. (Today's temp is actually the average of the temp I took at 8 this morning after going to sleep at 2 and not sleeping well, and the temp I took at 11, after a more normal amount of sleeping.) And I hate waiting for crosshairs, esp. when I know when I Oed! But either the 15th or 16th would be good dates!!

Beastie I'm so sorry you need to rejoin us. May your stay be brief and your next BFP give you a healthy babe nine months later.

Cejae: What Lyndzies said. I hope this next IUI does the trick.

MKP: Sounds like everything is working out just right over there! What do you do that involves being at the opera?

AFM: We're all spermed out. I'm pretty sure I O'd some time between yesterday's 2 insems, based on CM and cervix, so feeling good about the timing. I'll be starting the progesterone cream this evening. I have about a month's worth, but need to figure out what brand is best.
post #91 of 307
Katharinerose - I'm a hair, wig and makeup artist. My hours are crazy, which is why it's amazing that this try ever happened!

AFU - we, too, are spermed out! Let the games begin!!
post #92 of 307
Thread Starter 
Guys... I feel the need to whisper....


we saw two lines...

We're cautious, because they came up after ten minutes... but it's been on three tests now. They're still very, very light. AF is due tomorrow....

Hope and pray for us?

Pic of yesterday
post #93 of 307
Quote:
Originally Posted by osker View Post
we saw two lines...

We're cautious, because they came up after ten minutes... but it's been on three tests now. They're still very, very light. AF is due tomorrow....

Hope and pray for us?

Pic of yesterday
O. M. G. Threadkeepers luck FTW!

I've got everything crossed for you!

ETA - after the time limit or no, that second one does not look light AT ALL and is very pink!
post #94 of 307
oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (that was all whispered).

i SO see those lines. really clearly. clearer than any of our first tests.

sending all the best sticky vibes across the river to you both......let us know when to open the fridge and haul out the dancing veggies.

be well,
megin

Quote:
Originally Posted by osker View Post
Guys... I feel the need to whisper....


we saw two lines...

We're cautious, because they came up after ten minutes... but it's been on three tests now. They're still very, very light. AF is due tomorrow....

Hope and pray for us?

Pic of yesterday
post #95 of 307
*bouncing in seat* Osker, keep us posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #96 of 307
YOU GUYS!!! SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



Lol.
post #97 of 307
Osker: Yay!

(I'm whispering too!)


(And also laying low...I'm on my birth control pills, I'm supposed to start another period in about three weeks, and then start the medication after that, so I'm fighting with the insurance in the meantime.)

I'm totally depressed, but slogging through.
post #98 of 307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyndzies View Post
YOU GUYS!!! SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



Lol.
*giggle*
post #99 of 307
Thread Starter 
Thanks you lovely people here! We're feeling extremely cautious due to the ten minute + factor... and it seems so huge and amazing and wonderful that we're both completely terrified!


I think that about covers it!
post #100 of 307
Osker, OMG!!!! (whispered). I'm so excited for you and can't wait to hear your update in a few days. I'm in a coffee shop and feel funny pulling up a giant pic of a hpt so I'll skip that for now but sounds very exciting!

Welcome to everyone who has just entered the tww or is about to. Papa, do something nice for yourself in these days of waiting. : )

We're at 7dpo today which has gone by incredibly slowly. Today I have some very light cramps or gas, can't tell which, and I'm trying not to make too much of it. My acupuncturist today declared that my pulse was different than it has ever been before (I've been seeing her at least weekly for over 2 months) which gave me more hope than I want to have. It also could be because of the chinese herbs I just started taking. Either way, she seemed pleased with the change which I see as a good thing.
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