Listening to get ready my boy can be able to have breakfast

[MommytoB]

Anyways, I give my boy his clothes have them set out in the morning so they are ready to be put on but he just brings them out into living room takes forever for him to get them on .

Then by the time he's dressed it's time for him to get to the bus so he misses breakfast not the bus.

I tell him over and over that it's time for him to get dressed and I know he can get dressed within 5 seconds but the wake up earlier won't work makes him dawdle longer .

Missing the bus or making him go to school in his jammies proably won't make him care too much about it .

So anyhow I keep on wondering how i can get him to listen to me when it takes around 5 times of repeating and he's still not listening .


I ask a couple people of advice which I think is a bit harsh like for kids not following through as in not listening shouldn't be forced to stay in the bedroom for 3-4 hrs until dinner time and to have no fun stuff in there .

I feel for that kid but the kid proably listens because he's too afraid to be bored to death .

So maybe they are right my boy thinks he has a choice to wait until last minute and then he don't listens because he knows he will make it rather he's rushed or slow ?

But he misses breakfast and that is an important meal and he don't really eat that much

[sarahr]

Can you send him with food to eat on the bus? Can you stay closer to him to help "remind" him that he's supposed to be getting dressed?

[MorgnsGrl]

Could he wear clothes to school that would be comfy to sleep in, and just put on his "school clothes" at bedtime and sleep in them? If he wore sweatpants etc, I'd think he'd be comfortable enough...

[LynnS6]

How old is your son?

If this is a consistent problem, it suggests to me that he's not able to manage the task on his own yet.

My 5 year old still needs considerable help to keep her on task while she's dressing. She's perfectly capable of getting herself dressed, but not at the time management piece. If we do it together, it gets done in 1/4 the time and we can have a little time to connect before we head out the door.

Our 8 year old can get dressed in about 5 minutes and stay on task. Time and maturity cures this problem pretty well.

[Ruthla]

It sounds to me like he's not mature enough to get himself dressed in the mornings. Being physically capable of putting on his clothes is NOT the same thing as being mature enough to get dressed all by himself every single morning when there's a time pressure. Have you tried staying in his room with him and telling him 'time to take your pajama shirt off" "ok, now put on your shirt" "Take off your pajama pants now" "Take off your underwear now" "put on fresh underwear now" etc?

Even my 13yo gets dressed more slowly when she's tired- but she's mature enough to allow extra time for it before school. Heck, even I move more slowly when I'm tired!

Another option is to allow extra time in the mornings before school- wake him up earlier. If he needs 10 minutes to get dressed before school, not the 2 minutes it takes him on the weekends (when he gets dressed 2 hours later in the day when he's fully rested and already fed), then get him up 10 or 15 minutes earlier!

[MommytoB]

The extra time wake up won't work because I tried that and it just made him dawdle even more and he still didn't get breakfast.

I tried 15 minutes earlier with earlier bedtime and still it was same ole same .

We laze around on weekends if we are not going around we just laze around not really getting dressed if grandma wants to pick up brendan on her way home as a spur of a moment trip he will be dressed in 5 seconds and out the door as soon as she gets here .

So i just wonder why doesn't he get dressed quickly and I'm right there telling him to get dressed more than 5 times and he still doesn't do it.

He picks out his clothes right before he goes to bed and they are on his bed waiting for him to get ready in the morning he used to dress before he came out of the room now he brings his clothes into the living room to get dressed.

He is 5 yrs old and I just don't know why he's not in a hurry of getting dressed when he knows the bus will be coming soon and why doesn't he want to eat breakfast .

[jennygoat]

Can he eat first and then dress at the last minute as he does anyway? obviously food is not a motivator.
Maybe he is not hungry first thing in the morning. I don't think well fed kids are starving the minute they wake up. Can you send toast with peanut butter with him on the bus? Maybe one of those little oranges that are real easy to peal? An apple, banana?
My 4 year old functions better at getting dressed if I break it down. Put your socks on. Put your pants on. ect.

[Ruthla]

When my kids were that small, I gave them the option of dressing themselves or letting me dress them. On busy school mornings, when they were tired, DD2 and DS often preferred to "play baby" and let me dress them quickly and efficiently rather than going through the trouble of dressing themselves. Other times they insisted on dressing themselves.

Another option is to put him to bed in clothes that he can wear to school the next day. I did that a lot with DD2 after DS was born- I couldn't dress her WHILE nursing the new baby!

Really,for a 5yo this sounds completely age-appropriate. Either let him sleep in his school clothes or dress him in the mornings.

[confustication]

When DD was that age she also dawdled when it came to geting out the door. I don't spank, and try not to yell, but I'm also less 'gentle' than some here, I'm sure.

My solution (and it did work) was to set a timer for 5 minutes. If her clothes weren't on by the time it buzzed, she lost a privilege for the day (computer or tv time, or the bedtime story as she clearly needed more sleep so she could be more alert the next day). She also had to help me do the tasks I didn't have time to complete because I had to dress her instead (put away the dishes, take out the trash, etc...)


I don't think a five year old should need someone to dress him/her when they are perfectly capable of doing so themselves. I do help with buttons/shoes/more tricky bits, but the basics they've had down since age 2? No. It's not an unrealistic expectation. They don't have the time mamagement down, so the timer gives them a visible reminder.

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by MommytoB

He is 5 yrs old and I just don't know why he's not in a hurry of getting dressed when he knows the bus will be coming soon and why doesn't he want to eat breakfast .

Because he's 5. He's still a baby. Just spend 5 minutes yourself and dress him. Not everyone is a morning person, so perhaps he's just too sleepy in the mornings to motivate himself. If you spend a simple 5 minutes, get him dressed, the morning will be so much more pleasant and he can spend extra time sleepily eating and nourishing himself for the day.

Almost all kindergarteners don't get enough sleep, so my guess is that he doesn't get enough sleep. If you punish him for that and get angry at him for that, well, it doesn't seem very fair to him, right?

On the weekends, I assume Grandma is not coming around at 7am asking him to get dressed, is she? If not, then you really can't compare the two, in my opinion.

[emilys_mom1]

I just saw this exact issue on SuperNanny. There was a 4 yr old and 8 yr old. She taught the mom to set the rule and gave them a certain amount of time to get dressed. After that time, what ever they had on is what they ware to school. You would just need to bit your lip and really make him go to schoool in his PJ's if he isn't dressed and ready to go on time.

[wbg]

You will probably think I am nuts, but my DD is just not a morning person, and we had the same problem. Except a little more as she insisted on choosing her own clothes and would go through a few outfits. One day, the night before she started kindergarten she came up with her own solution. She went through all her outfits after her bath, picked out the one she wanted and climbed into it and fell asleep! She is now in 3rd grade and does not even own pjs! She picks out her clothes and sleeps in them! And I wake her up half an hour later than the other kids and she rolls out of bed, eats breakfast, brushes her teeth and off we go! Not a conventional solution, but it works for her! We also all pack backpacks the night before with whatever we need...library books etc so no last minute morning madness. DH or I make their lunches the night before as well and their snack, so they just go to the fridge and grab their lunch box and snack to put in their backpack. With that job out the way, i am able to focus more on them in the morning and encourage them to be moving at the right pace. I have learned to accept that it does take a little longer to get out the door, so at around 20 minutes before we are due to leave, I am already making rumblings about us being late! It gets easier as they get older as they are told off at school for being late. My 4th grader has such a strict teacher this year, that he keeps all of us on schedule!!

[hillymum]

Originally Posted by RiverSky

Because he's 5. He's still a baby. Just spend 5 minutes yourself and dress him. Not everyone is a morning person, so perhaps he's just too sleepy in the mornings to motivate himself. If you spend a simple 5 minutes, get him dressed, the morning will be so much more pleasant and he can spend extra time sleepily eating and nourishing himself for the day.

Almost all kindergarteners don't get enough sleep, so my guess is that he doesn't get enough sleep. If you punish him for that and get angry at him for that, well, it doesn't seem very fair to him, right?

On the weekends, I assume Grandma is not coming around at 7am asking him to get dressed, is she? If not, then you really can't compare the two, in my opinion.

While I disagree on a 5 year old being a baby I do agree with Riversky that you could spend 5 minutes with your ds helping him to get dressed. You can gradually decrease the amount of help he gets as he learns to be more independent.

As to going to school in the clothes you slept in, that just makes me cringe. I just can not imagine doing it lol.

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by MommytoB

He is 5 yrs old and I just don't know why he's not in a hurry of getting dressed when he knows the bus will be coming soon and why doesn't he want to eat breakfast .

My guess to this would be....because he is 5 and there are many, much more fun, things to do than get dressed or eat or care that the bus will not wait. Heck sometimes the more rushed I feel the more I slow down.

[Carley]

Originally Posted by confustication

My solution (and it did work) was to set a timer for 5 minutes. If her clothes weren't on by the time it buzzed, she lost a privilege for the day (computer or tv time, or the bedtime story as she clearly needed more sleep so she could be more alert the next day). She also had to help me do the tasks I didn't have time to complete because I had to dress her instead (put away the dishes, take out the trash, etc...)


I don't think a five year old should need someone to dress him/her when they are perfectly capable of doing so themselves. I do help with buttons/shoes/more tricky bits, but the basics they've had down since age 2? No. It's not an unrealistic expectation. They don't have the time mamagement down, so the timer gives them a visible reminder.

This is what I do with my 3yo. She made herself late to school ONCE for dawdling while getting dressed - I did take her to school late. On the way there I explained that it was rude & disrespectful to show up late. Instead of just joining her in late, I waited with her outside while everyone else was in chapel until the classes walked back to their classes. Then I had her apologize for being disrespectful & ask her teachers if she could join in late.

She totally understood what happened & hasn't been late or dawdled since.

Your son is totally capable of getting dressed himself, MommytoB, & I think you've already honed in on that - he's just not listening. You can either bend over backwards to make the world fit him, or you can teach your son to join the world.

[MommytoB]

I did do the time thing and set the alarm for 5 minutes to get dressed and he did . He had his breakfast today and we were right out there for the bus .

[VisionaryMom]

We also use a timer. There are no consequences needed because "beating the buzzer" is a great psychological motivator. DS is extremely competitive - just not a big morning person.

How long has he been physically able to dress himself? I know DS could by about 2 1/2 do everything except buttons, but I know a few 5YOs who can't manage everything yet. That would factor into how I handled it. Even with the physical capability, though, I still had to remind him until about 6 months ago as we went along. I usually dressed him right next to DD, and I could say "okay, socks" to keep him on task if needed.

I will dress DS is he just seems overly tired, but if that's happening daily, then I would consider adjusting bedtime or some sleep routine.

In the mornings, we also have a "work before play" rule. (Okay, we have that all the time, but it's critical in the mornings.) That goes for everyone in the house (DH and I don't sit down with a cup of coffee until we're all ready, though we may gulp one down while getting dressed.). It's just necessary for us to get everyone out on time.

[mamaofthree]

carley... that is a bit harsh. i wouldn't suggest humiliation as a way to get your kid going.

mommytob: i am glad the timer worked.
personally i think 5 is young, but then i have 5 kids so 5 still seems young to me when i also have a 15 year old (who btw was a slow little thing way back in the day and now gets herself all ready for school, so it does happen without punishments )
I am so not a morning person, so i can feel for your son. thankful only my oldest goes to school so the rest of us laze about until 9 lol

h

[Carley]

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

carley... that is a bit harsh. i wouldn't suggest humiliation as a way to get your kid going.

My daughter experienced the consequence of being late. What good would it have done to take her late to class? Just to tell her "we don't want to be late?" Now my daughter knows why AND how to respond in the case she is late. She apologizes.

[meemee]

does he really need breakfast?

is he allowed a snack during recess?

my dd is not a morning person nor a bfast person. not eating is the norm. she always has a couple of oranges and a banana on her backpack pocket in case she needs it.

if your son has anxiety, if you are not sure and suspect he might have a little bit, i would urge you not to set any timer thing or give him an ultimatum. it takes a lot out of them.

give him a platic baggie of something small he might eat at recess or on the bus. cheese and fruit maybe. a few bites. not too much.

or as i did as a child. liquidy oatmeal. so i had enough time to drink it down. i didnt even sit. i drank it on my way out the door.

however i do notice something. my dd is an onlie so i can do it. if i take some time in the am to hang out with her - just sit and talk or do something together - she seems to be able to move much more quickly. somehow spending one on one time with me in the morning does a lot to bring peace to the rest of her day. like getting off on the right foot.