I was ready to post a reply to the OP about whether her DS enjoyed the band once he was there and if the problem was transtions, when I noticed that the thread is a year old.
I agree. I think it is important that they have some extracurricular activity especially when they get in the high school years. But, it is so hard, I have a 10 year old, she has been in swimming for 2 years and is pretty good. She thought maybe she wanted to try something else this year. It seems kids start things pretty young. She was discouraged because the other kids were so much more advanced. I think she would rather be in nothing. She just still wants to be a kid and play. But, I am afraid if I let her do that she is not going to want to join something later because the others will have already been in it and they are better and she will be discouraged and not want to try. I don't know what the answer is. Any advice? I would appreciate it.
I'd explore what kind of activities appeal to her. Instead of swimming, what about diving or water polo?
Maybe she'd like to try something in the arts or music for a change - dance, watercolours, choir or whatever she'd like to explore.
OTOH, maybe an entirely different sporting activity will rejuvenate her interests - martial arts or perhaps a team sports like basketball or softball. There are lots of recreation-level activities for kids who just want to play and aren't interested in competing. I'd look into community sports organizations, house leagues or lessons for beginners. They are much less intimidating than trying to join a competitive team, and the other kids are likely to be at the same level (fairly new) or more tolerant of beginners.
Oh, and OP - it would be great to hear an update, if you're inclined!