! Glad there are some good prospects on the horizon again! Sounds like a varied pool (both in that they are varied from each other, and from your usual type), which seems like an excellent way to mix up the odds of one them being worth anything!Mumblemama
, yeah, weird. Although..how much had he had to drink? And the context of the actual comment would matter to me, but I'm weird in that I don't mind a certain level of joke-ish talk like that..but definitely some space is in order.Holland
, a week to focus on yourself sounds *awesome*. Good for you. And have fun on that date -- I really enjoy the dates where I don't have any particular hopes or expectations, they can be really fun. I hear you on the weird stage of life difference. That is one reason I've preferred to date men who have children, as they, usually, have at least experienced the domesticated side of life. But have fun!Rosehip
, after the very first time I tried online dating, I set up a second email account -- I have a very unusual first and last name, and live in a very small town/rural state, where everyone seems to know everyone. My regular email address is my first initial and last name, so if I want any amount of privacy, I need to have a second email.
And my vote is to be proactive, and contact some people. The only two men I've met via online dating who I would consider to be successes (complications and ATG) were both men I initiated contact with. I try to write a short note, referencing something in their profile that I liked, and asking for more information about something (it is my belief that asking some questions helps in the response rate). I also do a short paragraph about my day/week -- just chatty small talk, but hopefully interesting, and a glimpse at my personality.
Not sure it is anything close to a fool proof method, but it's what I do
Now, for my update: ATG didn't end up coming over on Xmas -- my ex was here all day, and I'd been texting with ATG to let him know when the coast would be clear and in the end, he just felt to uncomfortable, which I entirely understood, although I was so exhausted and emotionally spent that I just cried.
But then we spent the day together on Sunday (he works 12-12 on Saturdays, so that was out)..had a fab morning at his house, then headed out to a bar/restaurant for lunch and watching football (not that either of us paid any attention to the football
), then back to a different bar, closer to my house. My ex had taken the kids down to his moms for the day, and was going to be back late (usually I get them back around 5 or 6 pm), so when I realized I probably shouldn't drive, I had ATG drive me home.
We had just gotten back to the house, and I'd brought him up to my bedroom...(he'd never been upstairs in my house before, as the kids are usually in bed). I was in the bathroom when he called to me to tell me that a car had just pulled in the driveway..
It was my dad, his sister and her husband (who live in a different country, I'd never met the husband before!). It was a freaking riot. I had known they were planning to come up and stay for a few days between Xmas and NYE, but I hadn't heard from my dad about specifically when...So there we were, me, ATG (both somewhere left of sober) and my long lost relatives, and of course, my dad!
It all turned out fine, we got everyone in, ATG helped me quickly tidy the guest room, find food/drinks for everyone, and then we all sat around talking, and ATG and I ended up quite drunk. Then, my ex showed up, and carried the sleeping children in, one by one, up to their beds. He brought me the littlest first, and I went to lie down with him, so I didn't actually see him and ATG in the room together at all, but my dad was there as a buffer, and by all accounts it went okay.
ATG spent the night, which was lovely, and then took me back to town to retrieve my car in the morning...
Anyway. What a riot. Poor guy. My father and my ex in one night, completely unplanned. And we (ATG, my dad, aunt and uncle) had agreed that when my ex pulled in, we'd just tuck ATG away in my bedroom or something, but by the time he showed up, we were all sitting in the kitchen, away from the driveway, and quite tipsy, so we didn't notice him pull in.
Oh well. ATG rolled along with it, all very well, and is planning to come over again tonight.
Oh, and he made me mix CD for xmas, with 3 songs on it that he'd knew I liked (one I'd commented about in the car one day, and two others he'd sent to me and I'd responded favorably to) and lots more of course. I like it a lot -- just right for an Xmas gift at this stage, I think -- not spendy or elaborate, but personalized and thoughtful. I gave him a few thrift store clothes (I'm kind of a thrift store junkie, and he's been talking about needing nicer clothes for his grad school internships, and I found a cashmere sweater in his size and 5 ties so ugly that they are cool), and sewed him a case for his laptop out of some old sweaters.