Originally Posted by LoveOhm
so what is off with Southern Gentlemen that created no sparks is it something that you can put your finger on. It seemed like a nice end of the evening kisss, you said you want to see him again so what could make a spark.....? I also really struggled with the logistics of dating as a single mom and really since you don't live with your dad I suggest the living room dates often once you feel comfortable.
It's not that there were NO sparks...the whole way home and for the rest of that night, I was comparing him to Moniker-less from the summer. He was the best kisser EVER, and had my head in the clouds for days on end. But that obviously didn't turn out well, and at some point over the weekend, I realized that I can't go around comparing everyone to him. I'm thinking that Southern Gentleman's attractiveness will build as we go along, as opposed to making me unable to think straight right from the get-go. Does that make sense? There is definitely SOMETHING there, he just didn't blow me away.
He and I talked last night, about things that, if I was in my right mind, I wouldn't talk about with someone I just met, and somehow we decided that our Thursday night date will be hot wings and making out at his house. (As much as I WANT to sleep with him - and told him as such - it's just not in me to sleep with someone that quickly. Will explain elsewhere, don't want to put it here.) On the one hand, I find that thoroughly embarrassing, but on the other, it's exactly what I wanted, so why should I be embarrassed? If all he turns out to be is a friend with benefits, that might be okay for right now.
Moniker-less and I did 99% living room dates, which was kind of boring, and I have to admit that I enjoyed being away from my kids and having adult time for the first time in awhile. Southern Gentleman offered again last night to pay for a babysitter, so he could see me more often than just once a week, and I may take him up on that one of these days. I've never really dated anyone - even my stbx (it will nice when I can change that to XH) and I didn't even really date before we got married. It's nice to have someone trying to impress me.
As for Weird Engineer, my friends that are trying to set me up with him called on Saturday and said that he was bringing over Guitar Hero, which none of us have played, and having pizza, and invited me over. So after 3+ hours of sitting with him and two people who are SO trying to push us together, and a glass or two of wine, HE is someone that I officially have ZERO sparks with. He made googly eyes at me all night, it's pretty clear that he likes me, and I think he's really nice, but I have no romantic interest in him whatsoever.
So here's the problem with that. The friends that are trying to set us up don't know that I went out with Southern Gentleman. They have been pushing Weird Engineer to ask me out, one of them told him that I would say yes if he asked me out (yeah, she's going to be p.o.'d when she finds out I'm not going out with him, but I was pretty annoyed that she would do that anyway) and W.E. sent me a facebook message very late Saturday night/Sunday morning (must've been when he got home) asking me out. I'm struggling with how to tell him that I only want to be friends with him. I don't want to go out on a pity date with him - because I wouldn't want someone to do that with me - but on the other hand, I DO think he's nice, so I don't want to offend him or anything, I just have no romantic interest in him and don't see anything even potentially to build on.
So what is the appropriate way to turn down the date? I'm going back and forth between telling him I just started seeing someone and I'm having a hard time fitting him into my life right now (which is the truth, but I think would make him think that the door was still open down the road), or figure out a way to word it so that he knows that I'd like to be friends with him, but nothing else. I don't want to be rude, because he is nice, it's not his fault that I have no interest, and we have mutual friends, and I will see him around. HELP!