Vancouver(ish) Tribe: Sugared Mountains & Bare Branches - Page 2

[flowmom]

Autumn!

??????

[Autumn Mama]

Originally Posted by Ksenia

??????

I see you fixed it!

[Ellp]

Sending you peaceful vibes Tiffani!

Originally Posted by vancouverlori

I'm still trying to figure out what to get my aunt's gentleman-friend (boyfriend just doesn't seem right). We're doing a simplified gift exchange among the adults again this year, and I got him as my recipient. He's an architect and rather well-off, so I'm not sure what I could get him... possibly a Buddha board, but...? If he wanted one, he probably has one!!!

How about a bottle of wine or two? Add a couple of boxes of crackers, cheese, maybe some spreadable snacky type stuff if you really want to make it lush?

Originally Posted by Vancouver Mommy

Does anybody know of a good preschool in Bby Heights? I am having such a difficult time finding something for my 4.5 yo dd. I'm not even 100% sold on the idea of preschool, but if full day K (ugh) becomes a reality I want her to have some experience being away from home on her own.

I thought the all day Kindergarten thing was an option? I wasn't aware that ALL Kindergartens had to be all day, only ones that choose to be?

Originally Posted by Piglet68

We're heading to the Island this weekend for a mini-vacation. Gonna check out the Comox Valley as neither of us have ever been there. Unfortunately Pealette won't be there this weekend but she recommended a good restaurant and hotel. I hope the weather is nice, I'm really looking forward to "getting away from it all"!

Oh Mariah, if you're in Courteney, check out a restaurant called "Locals". Its right downtown. All the food is local (hence the name), organic and/or free range. They have a real chef do the cooking, and it is to die for. The prices are really good to for what you get. Comparable to Earl's or Red Robin, I'd say.

They were really considerate of the kids too, providing colouring pages and crayons. What really impressed me though was that the hostess (also the Chef's wife) explained that while they welcomed kids, they didn't believe in kid's menus and separate foods for the kids. She said they have grilled cheese sandwiches etc. from their lunch menu but the sandwiches would be made from organic mulitgrain bread with gourmet cheeses, and come with some kind of fruit spread. I had the kid's leftovers and it was the best grilled cheese I'd ever had. Yummm!

[Alison's Mom]

Originally Posted by Vancouver Mommy

Does anybody know of a good preschool in Bby Heights? I am having such a difficult time finding something for my 4.5 yo dd. I'm not even 100% sold on the idea of preschool, but if full day K (ugh) becomes a reality I want her to have some experience being away from home on her own. The only ones I can find are either church run, montessori or too far away to walk. Gilmore School is quite close, but the preschool has been relocated to Kitchener School during the renos and that's about 15 blocks away. Eileen Daily has some sort of preschool program, but it doesn't really look like much more than 2 hours of child care.

There's the one my son goes to: Franklin Preschool - it's in Vancouver, but just one block west of Boundary at Pandora. Not sure if that's too far for you, but we are about 5 or 6 blocks away from Gilmore preschool. There are a couple of spots in each class - 4 year olds would either be in the MWF am class from 9-11.30, or the mixed afternoon class, which runs M-Th 12.45-3, with option of doing 2, 3 or 4 days. PM me if you want more info (I'm on the board).

[Pealette]

"Oh Mariah, if you're in Courteney, check out a restaurant called "Locals". Its right downtown. All the food is local (hence the name), organic and/or free range. They have a real chef do the cooking, and it is to die for. The prices are really good to for what you get. Comparable to Earl's or Red Robin, I'd say. "

Too funny Ellaine, that's the one I recommended!

[tiffani]

Originally Posted by Ksenia

Yikes, sorry if any of the dolls that I linked to fall in that category! To be honest, I really don't know what dolls from the slave era would look like . Is it because you're American that you would have such insight? Or am I just clueless?

no, I think it's because I'm in the "white parents adopting black children" world, and people are always looking for dolls, and this conversation happens a lot. none of the dolls you linked *are* dolls like that, but the one just kind of reminded me of them, and it's a tricky line to walk. there are a lot of rules for parents like us, and while some of them are silly and I refuse to adhere to them (sorry, not silly, but not something I want to perpetuate, like the "you have to have their hair in braids, it can't be left natural because "the black community" doesn't like that , or that black children have to behave differently than white children because the black community has different standards for their kids -- our four kids will all be treated differently in certain situations because of their race and genders, and we have to be realistic about that, but I'm fairly unapologetic anymore about the fact that they'll be black kids with white parents -- I can't change that, and it's not a bad thing, yk? luckily there are lots of them around these days, with adoption and interracial couplings and such, so the rules are changing, I think. I will always honor my kids wishes as they try to navigate their place in the world, but I'm not going to treat my white kids differently than my black kids, yk? that said, I have already started giving my kids "life lessons" that I think might be important for ALL of our kids to know, but only came to my attention because I will be raising black children, and unfortunately they have certain risk factors that middle class white kids usually don't, but I don't want to only send my black kids the message that you have to be very careful talking to police officers, so we've done that talk already. I'd love to think that race doesn't matter, but it does, sadly, so we have to prepare all of our kids for the ugly side, hopefully without making it seem uglier than it is.

ok, I'm rambling, off to bed!

[widemouthedfrog]

Originally Posted by tiffani

I'm fairly unapologetic anymore about the fact that they'll be black kids with white parents -- I can't change that

I'm still relatively conflicted about international adoption (not that it is an option for us) but this is generally the conclusion I've come to.

I am so exhausted by dd's separation anxiety these days. I know that I need to start providing her with good tools to manage her anxiety and sadness, but all I want to do is give her a big hug.

[vancouverlori]

Originally Posted by Vancouver Mommy

Eileen Daily has some sort of preschool program, but it doesn't really look like much more than 2 hours of child care.

That's actually pretty standard for preschool. It's not the same as childcare, though there are daycares that also offer preschool programs. I totally see your point if you're going to be putting your child in school! Full-day kindy without prior schooly experience could be unduly stressful for a child.

Originally Posted by Ellp

I thought the all day Kindergarten thing was an option? I wasn't aware that ALL Kindergartens had to be all day, only ones that choose to be?

They're phasing it in over the next 2 years. Currently only high-risk public elementary schools have the full-day option (where they have high rates of poverty, ESL, etc) - and maybe some specialty programs.

Ksenia, I was so puzzled by your post (with the ???), until I read Erin/AutumnMama's post!

French keyboard map, eh? I'll have to figure that out for when I try to write stuff in French. I feel so awful when I can't put in the accents, because I do know perfectly well where they go!

Et maintenant c'est le temps de faire dodo!

[artparent]

you can use the option key to find your french keys without changing the whole keyboard. é is option e, then e again. ç is just option c plain + simple...have fun. œ∑∑´®†¥¨ˆøπ“‘‘«æ…¬˚∆˙©ƒ∂ßåΩ≈ç√∫˜µ≤≥÷

*

[tiffani]

Originally Posted by widemouthedfrog

I'm still relatively conflicted about international adoption (not that it is an option for us) but this is generally the conclusion I've come to.

I am so exhausted by dd's separation anxiety these days. I know that I need to start providing her with good tools to manage her anxiety and sadness, but all I want to do is give her a big hug.

I'm conflicted about it too -- it's really a case by case basis thing, and in our case, I think it's pretty cut and dried that it's an enormously wonderful thing for our kids. I *am* worried, however, about people abandoning children in the hopes that they will be adopted by westerners, but the rate of abandonment in uganda is staggering, and only a very tiny number of the kids get adopted. The level of poverty there is crushing.

In Ethiopia, I know of kids who were placed for adoption at 4 or 5 and told that they'll go to america to school and come back for visits, etc, when that it totally untrue, and the parents know it. really, really, really devastating for the kids, and while Ethiopia tries really hard to prevent that from happening, it does still happen. Most of the babies coming from Ethiopia have known, living birthfamilies, some of whom could raise their kids if adoption were not an option, many of whom could not. I didn't want to be faced with a child, fall in love, and then have to decide (often not until you've committed to adopting the child) whether or not I felt their placement was legitimate. there are also so many social factors that go into it in ethiopia -- single mothers have an almost impossible time there, leading to a lot of placements. We got lucky getting matched with kids whose stories are very starkly on the pro-adoption side, but when we were adopting Esther, and she had a father and siblings, it was incredibly agonizing, deciding how to feel about it all. I'm in touch with her father again, and his kids are living with his sister as he recently found work on a fishing boat... I still wonder if he didn't just change his mind -- good for him if he did, but I'd love to know the truth. I'm going to continue talking to him and see if I can get a sense of what happened. He hasn't talked about her at all, which I find odd, since I have asked, but I don't know the culture all that well, so I don't want to push it. I would love to hear that the whole thing was a scam, and she's doing well, but that might be wishful thinking...

anyway, since most people in Uganda don't even know that foreigners can adopt, I think it's still safe to adopt from there without worrying that your child should be with their family. Most of the kids being adopted don't have any family at all, or no known family anyway, and would live their lives in institutions, until they hit 12 or 14, when they're on their own. there is a wonderful blog about a woman in her early 20's who is living there -- she's adopted LOTS of kids already, and is constantly finding dying children, nursing them back to health, and finding homes for some of them, or helping their families, if they have families. It's REALLY heavy on the religion, but she is incredibly inspiring, and there is no doubt that she is saving lives. Only read it if you have a box of tissues handy.

[flowmom]

Originally Posted by widemouthedfrog

I am so exhausted by dd's separation anxiety these days. I know that I need to start providing her with good tools to manage her anxiety and sadness, but all I want to do is give her a big hug.

to you too. I'm dusting off my copy of Hold Onto Your Kids and I'm going to watch the Power to Parent DVD course again. I'm finding that the concepts and tools that I need from Neufeld are different now that my children are older. If you haven't read Hold Onto Your Kids recently, go back and check out Part 2 -- the how-to part. Part 1 is like a totally different book -- a good one but it can be overwhelming to read that whole section when you're dealing with the day to day stuff. I think you'll find some useful stuff in there on separation anxiety.

[flowmom]

you're invited to my thread

new book: Parenting Without Power Struggles = Neufeld for Dummies

[Vancouver Mommy]

Originally Posted by vancouverlori

I totally see your point if you're going to be putting your child in school! Full-day kindy without prior schooly experience could be unduly stressful for a child.

Yeah, that's the thing. We haven't decided if we're sending them yet. I'm still completely on the fence about school. Arg. I think fully day K is a bad idea and I'll do anything to avoid it.

[flowmom]

I just want to know who's going to be there to mop up the consequences of all-day kindergarten . It's *not* the same as all-day daycare, nor is it the same as being in kindergarten in the morning and daycare in the afternoon (which was what I experienced).

[Vancouver Mommy]

What I dont understand is why we're pushing curriculum down to five year olds. Is it improving graduation rates? Is it making us a brighter/happier/more productive society? I dont get it. And the school boards are freaking out because they barely have enough to cover current costs, let alone essentially doubling the instruction and facilities costs for kindy.

[flowmom]

Originally Posted by Vancouver Mommy

What I dont understand is why we're pushing curriculum down to five year olds.

It's stupid. My ds actually "failed" kindergarten last year (they call it "approaching expectations" these days now ). The reason is Grade 4 standardized testing -- they're pushing back "learning outcomes" earlier and earlier, in an attempt to improve test scores.

[vancouverlori]

Originally Posted by Vancouver Mommy

Is it improving graduation rates? Is it making us a brighter/happier/more productive society?

Well, in at-risk groups, it does make a big difference. But those results can't be extrapolated to kids like ours, where we care what they eat and how they act and what they do. I have a cousin... and his wife... her idea of taking care of her toddler: she tears open a pack of chips in the morning, puts that on the coffee table, turns on the TV and goes back to bed for a few hours. She did this every day when she was at my sister's for 2 or 3 weeks, as if it was totally ok and everybody does that. (Let's just say she had addiction issues...) It's those kids who need the extra assistance.

Also, there are many schools where there just isn't a feasible daycare that fits with kindergarten, and at least if kindy is full-day, then the kids can go into regular before and after school care programs. Let's face it, they don't really do that much "curriculum" in kindy. Oh, the teachy people think they do, but who cares what it is that they're learning? Really, it's mostly just activities to keep them busy. Sure, they're supposed to be learning stuff, but most of it is going to be intrinsic developmental stuff and they're either ready for it or not, and unless there is a lack of exposure at home, you can't "teach" that stuff to them, they develop it on their own *in their own time*.

I don't think full-day kindergarten is going to be a bad thing. Mostly it's going to be less stressful for working parents whose kids would be in daycare anyway. And it will be good for those at-risk kids whose schools didn't have a high enough concentration of at-risk kids to fund all-day kindy before.

And now I better see what my little scientist is up to - he's having a baking soda and vinegar day again...

[widemouthedfrog]

Yeah, we're not going to send dd to full day K if it is the only option at our local school. Which I'm kind of hoping it is, so that way I don't need to send her at all next year .

The teachers know that full day is not going to be full day "sit down a learn this now!" It's going to be a lot of rest and play in the afternoons for survival purposes. While some current K teachers might be keen on the idea, it is primarily useful for WOH parents and consistency of child care. I can see that it would be very valuable in that situation (or in the one you are describing, Lori). I'm not so sure that dd would be able to handle it.

Does anyone have experience with Suzuki violin? Dd is quite musical and I'm considering Suzuki next year, especially if we don't do K. However, if it is very strict and structured I doubt it will fly. We may just sit in on a class if we can.

[Alison's Mom]

AFAIK, the full day K is partly to alleviate the child care shortage in the province, which is somewhat of a solution. I'm hoping that my 3yr old will still have the option of 1/2 K when it's time for him to go. My DD is now in 1/2 day and is coping fairly well. More than half her class stays the entire day, and not just the ESL, etc kids. I think because there was space, they offered full day to the parents of the typical kids and some took it. There are only 6 halfday-ers in DD's class.

[Alison's Mom]

Oh, and what I wanted to ask before I got side tracked by the fullday K thing was: what blog hosting site would people recommend? Are they all free? Which ones are user-friendly, look nice, etc? This would be a site for the aforementioned preschool (I know, welcome to the 21st century!). Thanks!