Ok, so if I understand this correctly, you're trying to figure out two different things and I'll addressed them separately because I'll get confused otherwise.
1. Training a child vs. following the child's lead.
I actually posted something very similar before about this. I'm way to lazy to dig it up but I was asking a similar question. My question was basically how much do we let a child lead themselves and at what point do you become the parent and start guiding.
The thing is, nobody lives in a bubble so it's impossible to follow the child's lead fully. No matter what you do you're influencing your child in some way or another by how you dress, eat, treat other people etc. For better or worse your child is learning that (and we all know how easily kids pick up things!!).
The other issue is that there's cultural influences to deal with. Like you mentioned with schooling, you believe skipping would harm your child in some way so you don't want to do that. But clearly that's a social construct and not what your child is leading (who knows where he'll want to lead when he's that age, you've still got a while to figure that out). I'd really suggest you read the book Our Babies, Ourselves. It's mostly about raising newborns in different cultures but it talks quite a bit about social constructs and how different societies value different ideas to create their own perfect well-adjusted child. For instance, Americans value independence so many do CIO and early weaning whereas the Japanese value integrating children into the family so they cosleep. Our values are created from our society so you have to decide if you want in your child what your culture holds in high esteem.
2. Skipping grades/schooling
This is a tricky one because your son isn't at an age where he's ready for school. I completely understand throwing around your options since we do the same about DD all the time. However, I wouldn't write in stone that you don't want your son to skip a grade. If he does end up being gifted you might be harming him if he is stuck in a class where he is bored to death. Just google underachieving and gifted to find out what i mean.
It's more important to parent the son you have than make hard fast rules before your child reaches that stage of development. DH keeps claiming DD won't be able to date until she's like 40, yeah right! I'd love to see him enforce that one.
For all we know she could end up being very responsible and the first guy she brings home is the epitome of a gentleman and we'll never have to worry.
So what I'm trying to say is there's nothing wrong with thinking about the future but it's more important to keep and open mind and stay flexible. Look closely at your son's cues and see if he's happy in his environment first before you make your decisions.
HTH
1. Training a child vs. following the child's lead.
I actually posted something very similar before about this. I'm way to lazy to dig it up but I was asking a similar question. My question was basically how much do we let a child lead themselves and at what point do you become the parent and start guiding.
The thing is, nobody lives in a bubble so it's impossible to follow the child's lead fully. No matter what you do you're influencing your child in some way or another by how you dress, eat, treat other people etc. For better or worse your child is learning that (and we all know how easily kids pick up things!!).
The other issue is that there's cultural influences to deal with. Like you mentioned with schooling, you believe skipping would harm your child in some way so you don't want to do that. But clearly that's a social construct and not what your child is leading (who knows where he'll want to lead when he's that age, you've still got a while to figure that out). I'd really suggest you read the book Our Babies, Ourselves. It's mostly about raising newborns in different cultures but it talks quite a bit about social constructs and how different societies value different ideas to create their own perfect well-adjusted child. For instance, Americans value independence so many do CIO and early weaning whereas the Japanese value integrating children into the family so they cosleep. Our values are created from our society so you have to decide if you want in your child what your culture holds in high esteem.
2. Skipping grades/schooling
This is a tricky one because your son isn't at an age where he's ready for school. I completely understand throwing around your options since we do the same about DD all the time. However, I wouldn't write in stone that you don't want your son to skip a grade. If he does end up being gifted you might be harming him if he is stuck in a class where he is bored to death. Just google underachieving and gifted to find out what i mean.
It's more important to parent the son you have than make hard fast rules before your child reaches that stage of development. DH keeps claiming DD won't be able to date until she's like 40, yeah right! I'd love to see him enforce that one.
For all we know she could end up being very responsible and the first guy she brings home is the epitome of a gentleman and we'll never have to worry.So what I'm trying to say is there's nothing wrong with thinking about the future but it's more important to keep and open mind and stay flexible. Look closely at your son's cues and see if he's happy in his environment first before you make your decisions.
HTH
