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Moms of Many DECEMBER - Page 6

post #101 of 188
Sorry. Just felt like breaking out my platitudes.
post #102 of 188
Oh, bacon!
I'm not joking, it's a page, funny too!

AM, just ship your kids here, we have room enough and would be happy to take them.
post #103 of 188
They'd probably love that.

And I love that bacon dog commercial. They seem to have it on the wall o' tvs everytime we're at Target, and it cracks the kids up!
post #104 of 188
Benches sound like a good solution. Although my kids would put one end up on the table and use it as a slide.

Helen, I do a double take whenever I see your sig. I'm so used to people listing their kids there, and yours starts out "13 newborns."

I know cars are a lot safer for kids with the carseat laws and seatbelt laws we have now, but I still envy families a generation or two ago, being able to stick kids wherever in the car. Dh's parents have 7 kids and have never owned a vehicle with more than 7 seats. Dh remembers having a bed set up in the back of a car or van for their 3-day car trips to visit family. On the other hand, it is nice that the kids can't get in each other's space when they're strapped in and in different rows in the van.

We've never really tried for any of our kids by charting or whatever. By the time I was fertile again after one baby, we were ready for another pregnancy, and we just went with the flow.
post #105 of 188
Hey Mama's

I am going crazy stuck in bed but I have to admit my husband, sister in law (What a saint! she's being doing school pick ups, made dinners and helped clean up around the house ) and my older kids have all been fantastic!

Bronte has become increasingly clingy, anyone know of any tips on how I can reassure her and get her to let go for awhile - i am feeling a bit touched out
post #106 of 188
Hey Sam I hope you aren't too hot there on top of everything else. I am today here.

AM - I've never actually 'tried' to conceive either. My first wasn't really planned at all but 2, 3 and 4 I just stopped trying NOT to get pregnant and I put a ring round the first day of my period as flapjack suggested. Each time it happened on the first cycle so I never had to put more than one ring round any date!

Back to the space thing: we have a round table so we can squeeze more in if we need to. Most of the time now there are only 5 of us at the table as ds1 is working 5 nights out of 7. We use one of our dining chairs at the 'puter though so when ds1 does eat with us we have to get that or I end up without a chair. I've just envisioned a round bench

We also have a Honda Odyssey but it is imported from Singapore so not quite like the US model. I put dd2 in a booster in the back and dd2 in a fixed car seat in the middle in front of her. This means I can slide the other middle seat to get dd1 in the back and the boys sit one in the back row and one in the middle now that they don't need any boosters or anything.

The boys now have play fights with dh over who is going to ride shotgun in the front with me. Dh doesn't drive the beast much day to day and as a result he still hasn't got the hang of the automatic transmission and ends up braking in a way that makes me feel I need to hang onto something!
post #107 of 188
Originally Posted by orangefoot View Post
Hey Sam I hope you aren't too hot there on top of everything else. I am today here.
It's a really hot day here which is making Bronte's clinging unbearable, I feel like a incredibly mean and horrible mother asking her to get down

My kids are on school holidays so I could ask them to entertain her for awhile but whether or not she will go with them is another matter....
post #108 of 188
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
Hey mamas-- sorry I haven't been around. I've been licking my wounds a bit and feeling sorry for myself. Then I realized I was crampy and probably PMSing. Luckily my husband bought a giant chocolate bar and left it in the car. It's mine now, sucker!

Anyway, things are kicking into high gear for Christmas. We're also coming up on our 15th anniversary this week! Unbelievable. We always make a cake and celebrate the birthday of our family that day. Plus we have the church staff lunch. And then we're going out alone the next night.

I have 3 choirs going right now. I will have 4 when co-op starts up again. My teen girls sound awesome, if I do say so myself. We're going to try to tape them next week so I'll share. It's so weird to be back in the choir game after 10 years off though. I feel so out of practice!

Oh, and birth stories... I loved reading them all!

My first was a nightmare-- 27 hours of active labor, 5 days in hospital, 3 failed epidurals and a forceps delivery.

My second was the best. Very peaceful and I had her within an hour of showing up at the hospital.

My third was here in the little podunk hospital and kind of sucked. He was breathing fast and instead of letting me hold him skin to skin they took him away from me. Also, I had a failed pitocin induction and then another 3 days later, and spent a month on bed rest due to high blood pressure.

My fourth was a homebirth. I feel kind of cheated, like I was promised rainbows and fairies and they never showed up. It was really hard, and at one point my midwife slapped my ass and told me to stop whining. Which I get, I guess, but still. I know it's kind of squiffy to say around here, but I am honestly not sure if I'll have a homebirth next time, especially given what's happened with the two losses.

Anywho... did I tell you all the doctor said we could try again after the new year? I am scared to death. And I'm two days late but am having cramps and feeling snippy and had a negative test. I'm kind of glad, because I would hate to be the first person in the history of the universe to get knocked up because her six-year-old thought her basal thermometer made a groovy rocket ship and took off with it and lost it, .
You know, I felt the same way after my third child, I went with the midwife and felt so let down and cheated. I heard all those stories about endorphines and euphoria etc and I felt shell shocked. It was awful, he was ten and a half pounds, the midwife wouldnt let me kneel/squat like my body was telling me too, made me lay down on my side so she could "help" me, almost called the paramedics cuz he wasn't fitting out (Im convinced he would have fit just fine had I stayed upright). Anyway, it hurt so bad and after he came out, I didn't even want to hold him, I wanted them to take him away and for everyone to leave me alone, I swear I was in shock. However, with number four I went back to the hospital and was told I wasnt in labour and ignored. An hour and half later I had a baby and that time I got the endorphine ruse and sense of euphoria and all (no interventions of any kind since they didn't think I was in labor, though once they realized I was they wanted to the epidural but it was too late. Heck, even the doc didn't make it in time! When we got the bill, we called and asked them how they could in good concious charge us for the delivery when no one delivered him. Seriously, he shot out onto the mattress of the bed while they were arguing with me. I TOLD them he was coming!!
post #109 of 188
A-M: you made me smile today! Love it!
post #110 of 188

A church lady is descending on my house in about 20 minutes. I'm glad, because it means I get to go to the fancy pants staff lunch at Le Jeune Chef but it's bad because I always freak out thinking they're going to think we live in a hovel. Which I suppose we do by society standards, but still.

It's my 15th wedding anniversary! How bizarre is that?!?! I'll post pics later.
post #111 of 188
Originally Posted by pixiekisses View Post
Oh, bacon!
I'm not joking, it's a page, funny too!
I see your baconbaconbaconbacon.com and raise you a badgerbadgerbadger.com. Heh.

ETA: Happy Anniversary AM!
post #112 of 188
We have also outgrown our kitchen table. It only seats 4 so our 3yo and 1yo are both still in highchairs.

We are actually discovering we are outgrowing our pots and pans too. The ones we have just don't seem to hold enough food for all of us.

Do any of you have larger sized pots and pans or do you just make do?
post #113 of 188
OK, I don't know if you can see these, but

OMGosh, we were such babies! If any of my kids try to get married at 21, I will kill them !
post #114 of 188
We make do a LOT. I can't seem to find many really big pots and pans. However, we do have a chilli pot that probably holds four gallons that we use regularly. Also, we have a turkey roaster pan (that plugs in; I think it is like a 20 quart or something) that I can use like a crock pot. I just made potatoes and ham last night in it and used about 15 pounds of potatoes (and only used about half of the pan). It works great! And it large enough to feed all of us.

I have a large crock pot that I use regularly as well as a 10 cup rice cooker. But even when full, those only last one meal.
post #115 of 188
Funny, I was about to ask how you do pasta. We've just hit the point where we get through more than 500g of pasta in one mealtime, and I don't have a pan big enough
post #116 of 188
AM, cool pics! But yeah, you do look young. Congrats!

Our kitchen table holds 14 (6 on each side, and one on each end), we've squeezed in 19 once, with two on each end and a few kids on laps.
So we're good for now, and years to come I think.
We have comfortable chairs, and often will end up sitting in the kitchen if we have guests (the kids playing everywhere), it's something about our kitchen that both we and guests just love.
post #117 of 188
Hi there mamas.

My dh and I have a joke about when people just walk in, talking, and I guess that's what I'm doing here. You're all having such a nice discussion and I just need to ask for some reassurance if there's any to be had...

We have four boys ranging from 6 to 2 yrs and my dh works crazy shifts like it seems many of yours do here too. We've just moved into a home that needs to be gutted and I'm 10 weeks pg and finally feeling okay. I had well, evening and all-day sickness until last week, which is the first time in eight pgs that I've had even a twinge of nausea.

What I'm wondering is how 'normal' or maybe just usual it is to be spending nearly all of one's time fixing and managing chaos. By this I mean that I feel like, and timing-wise it works this way, I don't have any time to spend reading and playing or just engaging our boys in meaningful or really connected ways. They seem to go from one crisis to another, and usually that stops for about an hour once I've lost my patience with it, they have their stress-fix and they calm down for an hour.

I should also let you know that both dh and I and our parents and some of their parents/siblings all have forms of adhd. I have the inattentive type and have dealt with it successfully through years of self-initiated behaviour modification. Most of my family self-medicates with drugs and alcohol and dh and his family self-medicate with licit substances like pots and pots of strong coffee and cigarettes but dh uses 'all-natural organic' energy drinks to keep himself stimulated and focussed.

Our boys bear all the adhd markers of our families and I take great pains in helping them to find constructive ways of keeping their brains satisfied. They have an indoor mini and an outdoor 14' trampoline and I teach them many ways of obtaining that rush they need so many times per day to focus, but still, they seek conflict likely because it is pretty instant and doesn't require much effort.

So, they construct crisis after crisis and I'm afraid that when they are grown they are going to complain to me that I didn't spend enough time with them, when there simply isn't enough time in a day to put out all their fires while being foremost engaged in fire-prevention tactics as it is, and then also do the daily chores, food prep, and somehow spend time with them in relationship the way they also need.

I'm just not enough people and when dh is home, he (for months now) rarely engages them adequately to take the heat off of me a bit, but spends his time wanting/requiring them to go somewhere else to play and to not interrupt him(we don't share the same perspective on this and I'm not too sure dh puts enough thought into this to have one that aligns with his actions, but every now and then I can get through to him, so he's not unreasonable, just not all that personable right now- with his family anyway). He's in a funk because of our move, and if he doesn't come out of it soon, I'm going to lose my patience with him too...

So, obviously we don't have a normal situation, but I wondered, do you who don't have these underlying issues still have similar feeling about your time spent when your littles are young? Are your littles engaged all day in crises?

Ours are also very imaginative and play very, very well together, but their play is intermingled with so much for me to do that I feel like their shadows.

To be very clear, there are many days when I literally do not sit down for up to 12 hrs at a time. I don't nurse ds4 during the day anymore, which has meant that I don't even have those rests anymore. I'm very tired and my pelvis is very sore from too much standing.
post #118 of 188
Thread Starter 
ugh, I hear ya!

I do think, being in the first trimester myself, that it's all much more overwhelming right now than it usually is because I'm so sick and tired, literally. When they get to fighting or are too rowdy, I either send them outside (yes, without me usually) or I send them to their individual rooms to play and re-group. This usually works fine. Even my 2 yr old will march up with them to his room that he shares with 5 yr old (they get along fabulously).

What's hard for me is the mess they make when they play well together!!
post #119 of 188
While I wasn't able to drink water without nausea and was ravenously hungry but absolutely nothing agreed with my stomach, I think that I was definitely more sensitive than usual to the way things are here. I felt positively violent toward my dh when he didn't rush around to help prepare food when I was finally able to eat and had to start making up for weeks of not eating. He may have been more helpful, but I think he was scared.

Another opposite to my usual pg experience is that I have energy commensurate with my food intake. In previous pgs, my head felt like lead and I couldn't sit up for most of the first trimester. This time, as long as I eat, I'm completely fine energy-wise, like I'm not pg.

What this has meant is that I can still spend my days bent over picking things up off the floor, doing dishes, making meals, doing laundry and building stuff while looking after our boys sometimes alone for 17 and 18 hr stretches (some of that time they're sleeping, of course, but I don't fully sleep when dh isn't here because the whole home is under my sole care. My naturopath calls it night-watchwoman syndrome.

This is a typical situation for us, and I'm keeping up waaaay better than I was when I was chronically ill for 6 years. A little while ago, I was asked to help at my friend's daycare for a day and I did. I was shocked to find out that looking after the ten children in my charge that day and all of their needs (our youngest came with me too and was absolutely easy and delightful the whole day), it was like a vacation. The strain on me that day, with the chores and the diaper changes (my group ranged in age from 18 months to five yrs with most of them in the 2-3 range), was a fraction of what my days usually are like for me. It would have taken me a week at that rate of exertion to equal a day in my home.

Then I started noticing what other families' days are like, and there appears to be a rather enormous difference.

Now, on the very positive side of things, I put an enormous amount of effort in, and there are lasting results of this. Others constantly comment on how shocking it is that our boys can have a conflict and resolve it themselves quickly and (usually) without violence. They are very bonded with one another and loyal to one another and attached to me and dh. Their social skills are years ahead of their chronological ages, as are all of their skills, so it's a very intense ride, but they are thriving.

If I look at them, I can't worry because they have abilities and knowledge that I didn't acquire until I was an adult (hence why they have it now; I share freely), but when I see the time so punctuated every day and sometimes I can't remember if I really had a conversation with each of them- a whole one, not just a directive or a 'fly-by' and that bothers me a lot. There have been days when the only hugs they received were at bedtime, and I was with them all day, running around like a maniac.

Anyway, just before I posted my op, I had talked to them (admittedly in stressed tones, not angry or scary, but obviously stressed) about this- the time I can't spend with them if I'm always managing their crises. I explained how the time works and that I don't have any extra, that there are as many hours each day as there are and I would like to spend more of them reading and playing and engaging them in real conversations than I do now while I am running after them cleaning up giant messes and pulling them apart when they each have a shelf held over their heads threatening to strike (they never do- it's just the threat that works to pump up the adrenaline and then they're done). They had calmed down after that, which is the only reason I could post at all, and then for the rest of the day, they were really relaxed and conscientious, agreeable and respectful of me and one another (dh was at work and still is until tomorrow). It was like it finally sunk in!

Soooo, I had time to make their meals and snacks and tea, eat with them, play catch and wrestle and tickle them, read and talk with them as well as listen to their stories. We had time for lots of hugs, and they happily exclaimed that they didn't cover their bed in toys and mess so that they could have more time to be with me before bed. This didn't hinder their playtime at all; they were very engaged in play without throwing everything they own onto their bed as is usual. Then I ended up falling asleep with them in their bed after reding to them. I love that.

Now THIS is the sort of day I could never tire of. I still had a lot of work to do, but nothing crisis-oriented after the talk. I am a very efficient worker, so I can do most things very quickly and that meant I had lots of time with them even though everything was done for the evening before bed.

This seems to happen frequently that when I finally post about something that has been going on for months of years, it stops immediately- that day. It just happened the other day too with sleeping issues. I think now that it's because I don't post until I have it figured out, and want confirmation here, only to find that my figuring it out was the key to fixing it. Sigh. I bet a lot of my posts on mdc follow that pattern.

Anyway, I'm a mama of many!!! I don't usually think of myself that way, but now that we have a babe in utero, I find that I am admitting my many-ness now. My friend who is a dr exclaimed that I'll be a grand multi-para now with #5. What a great achievement! I want a certificate.

eta: Hey! Mataji4, we're expecting around the same time. I'm due in summer 2010, somewhere in the july to august range.
post #120 of 188
bigger pots/pans: restaurant supply store
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