I'm with you!
Hi Alton,
Congratulations on the birth of your baby!
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Originally Posted by alton  I don't know why I feel intimidated about asking visitors to wash their hands when handling my baby. Anytime I have asked, at best I've got this puzzled look (how could MY hands possibly be dirty) or at worst indignation, and mostly people just tell me that their hands are clean. Eh...not clean enough!
I've tried modelling the behaviour I want, stopping myself before picking up the baby and putting on some antibacterial gel (always left around prominently) but nothing seems to penetrate. It drives me insane.
But I don't want to cause bad feelings among my relatives either.
Does anyone else have this problem, and do you have any tips for getting the point across?
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My DP and I believe strongly in the importance of hand-washing and we have everyone who visits our home and plays with our toddler to wash their hands first. We done this since our daughter's birth, so it's just become part of the routine and doesn't faze me to remind/tell people to wash their hands now, but I too was intimidated about doing so at first. And I definitely got some puzzles reactions (and a few rude comments!).
I find I use different techniques with different people but here's what's worked for us:
--like you said, modeling the behavior we want
--just saying casually "we want to keep our daughter healthy, so we ask everyone who comes over to play to please wash their hands first" (we say this to adults too because most people we know like to play and it seems to keep the tone of the conversation lighter) or saying something like "I'm sure your hands are clean, but since we want to be sure to everything we can, we appreciate it if everyone washes their hands."
--for people (like some of our relatives) who tend to only take things seriously if an "authority" says it, we just say "our OB/midwife/pediatrician have recommended that we have everyone wash their hands before holding or playing with our daughter."
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Originally Posted by nannymom It is so weird to me as the first thing I always do before I hold someone else baby is wash my hands.
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Me too! And I was like this before I had my daughter.
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Originally Posted by MsBlack YOr--make a little note to pass out to the resisters--or just post it on your door for all to see: "Did you know that hand washing is known to prevent the spread of infections of all kinds? Did you know that newborns are very vulnerable to infection because their immune systems are so immature? Even people who bathe regularly might be carrying germs that are harmless to everyone except a newborn. Help me keep my baby healthy--please wash your hands before holding the baby".
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I like this idea too. We are a shoe-free home (and have been for years before having a child) and we have a sign on our door that simply says "Upon entering, please remove your shoes and leave them on the mat." We've never had any issues. A few people have asked questions, but all of the questions were out of interest. Recently one friend told us that he and his partner now have a shoe-free house and were inspired by us. (That might be blush and smile.)
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Originally Posted by JenBuckyfan I was thinking about this the other day, wondering how I'll deal with it when the time comes. I like the script above for when people visit. I'm having a tougher time thinking about how I'll deal with it when out in public - I know there will be people at our church who will want to get their hands on our baby. Do you keep a sanitizer bottle on hand for those people as well and say something similar to what's above about the flu and all? I'm guessing that's the route to go.
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When we're out and about (not at our home or someone else's home), we keep some child-safe (non-alcohol based) hand sanitizer with us and wipe off our daughter's hands, etc. if friend touches or holds her and hasn't been able to clean his/her hands.
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Originally Posted by pantrygirl I wound up greeting folks and then as I took their coats offered to bring them to the kitchen to wash their hands. I casually slipped it in. "Hi! Wow, it must be cold out. You look great. let me get your jacket. Come with me to the kitchen. I'll grab you a drink while you wash your hands."
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I’m going to use that in the future!
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Originally Posted by pantrygirl Most folks won't question it. If they do, personally, I think they are idiots.
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Originally Posted by pantrygirl One friend said that she had her gloves during her trip to see us. I jokingly replied, "And I know what you do with those hands. {pause. Laugh} Here." and I held the soap pump for her to lather up.
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The joking or laughter thing works great too. We have a hands-free soap pump (which we love!!!) that flashes to tell you how long to wash your hands for. It makes a great conversation topic. If people get the puzzled look, we just start babbling about how much we like our geeky soap pump and that usually breaks any awkwardness in the conversation.
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Originally Posted by pantrygirl Sometimes you just have to be 'the parent'. I wouldn't think it rude of others. I think folks who haven't been parents of babies in a while are forgetful and those who aren't around children and babies are oblivious to how may times a kid can get sick.
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Originally Posted by JenBuckyfan I agree with this too. It's funny how there are many things that I feel awkward asking people to do, whereas if I were asked by someone to do those things I wouldn't find it odd or awkward at all!
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We have alot of visiting to do with alot of people this month due to the holidays and the last thing I want is a round of "pass the baby". I remember when my son was born and company came by and I could just see that people were itching to hold him. DH was pushing me to let his brother handle him, because of course he's family right so I was made to feel guilty because he drove so far and all. Anyways, I gave him my son, left the room for like 15 minutes and when I got back he had handed him off to everyone! Including the younger (like 11 & 12 year old) kids! I was pretty upset. I'm making it a point to pick up a sling this weekend, and that way when we go to visit, she's coming out of the car seat and going straight into the sling and that is where she'll stay. I'm feeling way more protective with this one for some reason, not sure why that is? But I know what you mean about the comfort level of trying to tell people to wash their hands. I remember with my son having my brother-in-law trying to jam his gum into my son's mouth for a 'taste'..and just after he finished smoking a cigarette to boot! I was so mad! I told him, "no, he does not want to taste your gum - AND you just smoked, it's full of nicotine!" Well I'm still paying for having told him off and that was 4 years ago.
