He is crazy!

[mamaofthree]

I am at a loss as what to do for my little son. he is the youngest of 5, he has 3 brothers and a sister. not one of my other kids acted this way. (and we have had our issues with the other ones). when he gets upset (or heck he doesn't even have to be upset really it can happen at anytime, in any enviroment with anything happening or not happening) he destroys things, he hits people, he throws things, he yells at people, he dumps everything out. it can happen when everything is nuts in the house or when it is all calm, when he is getting his way or when he is not. there really is no pattern. and if i try distraction or removing him he will just go right back to it as soon as he can as soon as you put him down or turn away (foolishly thinking he is now on the right track). i am at my wits end... tonight he threw a butter knife at my dd's face and then in a flash dumped his milk into the potatoes, i mean it happened that fast. you remove him from the table and he dumps out all the games and rips pages from a book. you try and focus on good behavior and he punches you, you get mad and he calls you a "ba-ah" (which is his "bad word"). it is so bad that my 5 year old son runs screaming from the room when he walks in. i have tried doing things to keep him busy, but honestly with 5 kids i can't spend all my time with just him and the other kids are getting pissed about it.
he can be loveable, but he can turn from kisses and hugs to a gut punch in a flash and with no rhyme or reason.

grrr any advice?

h

[Spirit Dancer]

How old is he?

[3*is*magic]

No advice, but OMG - ARE YOU ME??? You are describing my youngest to a tee, and I am completely and totally at the end of my rope. I spent my entire day in tears because I am just so DONE with his complete and total lack of impulse control. I have been weathering this storm for more than a year and a half (since he was 15 months old) and have been through EI, a child psychologist, a social worker, occupational therapy and about $500 worth of books on "spirited children". I am at my wit's end.

Wanna come over for a glass of wine?

[mamaofthree]

YES! LOL

he is 2 1/2. this is pretty new stuff like with in the last 4 months or so. he doesn't have tantrums (ie throwing himself on the floor and crying and screaming) he just gets all nuts! he won't even look upset, sometimes he is smiling... like a crazy man! lol
he seams to listen best to my oldest son (who is 11) but i can't have him parent the baby. he is worse with his dad. this is just something totally new for us. i guess each child is here to teach you a new way you can grow and be patient but geeze!

h

[LearnWorth]

A Strange Reaction

@mamaofthree, 3*is*magic

Hang in there! You'll pull through this! An answer will come, so keep reaching out.


Although it could be a phase, this sort of scenario pops up more and more nowadays. It may sound a little far-fetched (bear with me), but assuming you've tried the obvious... food eliminations, different stimuli (environments, toys, voice, clothing, etc.), various parenting methods, and physical evaluations (ears, teeth, eyes, spine, skull, etc.), you may want to try eliminating all electromagnetic frequencies.

This means a place totally free of DNA-altering devices like cell phones and wireless anything. Go to where there are no electrical devices or lines above or below ground or in walls. Parks away from Wi-Fi are great places to observe. The difference can be drastic if your babe has a sensitivity to electromagnetism.

Just a quick thought.

[mamaofthree]

you know i haven't tried diet stuff, that is a great idea.

now about the elctromagnatic thing... where do you even find a place like that? lol

h

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

YES! LOL

he is 2 1/2. this is pretty new stuff like with in the last 4 months or so. he doesn't have tantrums (ie throwing himself on the floor and crying and screaming) he just gets all nuts! he won't even look upset, sometimes he is smiling... like a crazy man! lol
h

This is a tantrum....there are many types out there. Check out this page

http://www.blisstree.com/babylune/ty...mper-tantrums/

[mamaofthree]

good link, although i wish she would have said what to do with a madman! lol

i do realize it is a form of TT i just have never dealt with one like this. lol

h

[bscal]

Okay, so mamaofthree and 3ismagic, we all should get together and have that wine. My youngest is also EXACTLY as you've described. He's 2 1/2 as well and we call him 'the toddler tornado'. I swear he can destroy a room in 3 seconds flat and as soon as you're done cleaning up that mess you discover 3 other messes that he's made.

I feel very frustrated sometimes with his behavior... especially because I taught 2 yr old preschool for 10 years and have taken many classes over the years about 2 yr old behavior, development, etc. So I kind of feel like I should know how to handle this stuff, right?

Here are a few things that work some of the time... because really nothing is the 'magic cure-all' for busy 2 yr old behavior.

1) For throwing food/making a mess in his plate: I give very small portions of each food we're having for dinner. I've noticed if there is something he doesn't like then that's when he gets frustrated and either dumps it or plays with it. A smaller portion cuts down on the mess. As for stopping the behavior, I sit right next to him while he's eating. When I see that he's eaten all of a particular food, for example, mac n cheese, I'll ask him if he'd like more of if he's done. As soon as he's done I have him put his plate in the sink (which he loves to do).

2) Spitting. Spitting is one of my big pet peeves because it's just gross. I don't tolerate spitting on the floor or on his big sisters... yuck. But as an instructor once said in a class on discipline for 2 yr olds "The adult needs to find 'socially acceptable' ways for a child to experiment with the behavior." So if my little guy wants to spit I take him into the bathroom and let him spit as much as he wants into the sink. As that is what we do when we brush teeth then that is an acceptable place to spit.

3) Finding 'socially acceptable' ways for other behavior does work really well. If a child is having a problem with hitting when they are frustrated then grab a throw pillow off the couch and permit them to hit the pillow as much as they need to. At this age when they are still working on those verbal skills sometimes they are mad, excited, etc. and just cannot find the words to express all those big feelings. So they act out in physical ways that are not appropriate... like hitting or wrecking a room.

4) Take a deep breath. Find a happy place for you. I strongly recommend having a secret 'Mommy Stash'. Mine is hidden on the top shelf of the pantry. I keep a stash of those individually wrapped little chocolate squares with the Raspberry filling up there. I can step into the pantry... have my little treat real quick... take a few deep breaths and then get back into parenting mode.

#4 is the most important advice I have. Keep your cool and try not to get too frustrated.

Beth