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PDX December doot-dee-doo - Page 8

post #141 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by lmonter View Post
The Columbian? (please explain to an idiot here)

Ericka ~ Yeah, I kinda agree with the other folks. For a variety of reasons, which I'm sure you've already got swimming around in your head.

We had a nice, quiet Christmas. Very little snow, but I figured as much. Especially after last year (we had area records - over 6 feet in a month I think?). The kids weren't overwhelmed with presents since I hadn't had a chance to go anywhere without 'em, and hubby only got 'em a few little trucks before his car went to the shop. It was cheap, and worked out well.

Still a bit depressed at the house situation. Whole thing just sucks *bleep*. Wonder how long I'll last as basically a single parent of 4 kids, with no breaks/help, ever, before I want to drive headlong into a semi. I'm betting 4-6 months, we'll see. So I'm going to live vicariously through you guys in case I actually do ever get to move down there.
Columbian = local SW washington newspaper.

I missed your housing situation. What's up?
post #142 of 165
I'm trying to figure out what to do. I'm supposed to be taking photos for my sister in law's birth, but she is having a hospital induction the day before her due date in the hopes that she can have the baby before the end of the year for insurance purposes. They are going to break her water as soon as she arrives, regardless of whether or not labour has started. This is going to be VERY hard for me to watch, let alone work. It's bringing up such bad PTSD and anxiety that my chest feels like it's collapsing, because if she's not ready to deliver, she's headed straight for a cesarean.

I don't want to let her down, but the thought of having to witness that again is literally making me shake. Help!
post #143 of 165
Please explain to her that if she has not checked out of the hospital by 11:59pm on the 31st that she will end up paying her out-of-pocket amount for both calendar yrs & get double screwed.

HUGS & prayers. I don't think I could do it, but I hope you can find some peace in your heart about what to do. HUGS
post #144 of 165
Hedy, I am so sorry you are faced with this! I agree, she is headed straight for a cecarean if her labor doesn't get going immediately. I would assume with your PTSD reference you have had or witnessed a cesarean before? I have been thinking about what I would do, asside from refusal to do the work. (Which you could do, but I assume that would not go over well.) I really do not know what to say. As my friend once said, who is planning a VBAC at home this February, "there is beauty in other paths chosen". She is in full understanding and agrees with how I feel about birth, and I had had a very emotional outburst on FB. Anyway, I wish I could help. If I think of any other ideas I will post them here. I know this one will be on my mind and in my prayers.
post #145 of 165
Yeah, I had a pretty horrible, traumatic cesarean in which the anesthetic went horribly wrong. (My epidural fell out, when they were transfering me onto my bed from the operating table, post-op, and I basically felt EVERYTHING once it wore off, which took only a few hours.) After that, they tried three different pain meds, all of which, I was allergic to, and had VIOLENT reactions to. I didn't even get to have food until I was 3 days post-partum because of how badly messed up I was afterward. Then the fight against the system for a VBAC was pretty horrible as well. I had a successful VBAC, and she was definitely around during both experiences.

We just got off the phone with her a little while ago talking to her about the insurance companies and the fact that she would need to be checked out of the hospital before the last minute of the year. She is going to verify that in the morning. I'm hoping it makes a difference, because it just makes me sick to see her being intervened into THEIR outcome, rather than what's best for her and her baby.
post #146 of 165
So, being "around", I am sure she could see night and day which experience was prefferable? The actual birth and healing part? Is she aware of the risks, etc? I know a MW who would charge $2000 for a HB, and she even barters. If she is THAT type, that is. Ummm... obviously not.

Congrats on your VBAC! It just makes my day to hear of that stuff. It matters to me. Because it MATTERS that women can make safe, proven choices. Not to mention having healthier mom's and babes. I wish more women would just ask questions and not just get one or two docs oppinions. Most just don't know that they do have choices and can fight to have the birth they want. But then so many don't know what birth really can be like, and then why ask why. Ugh! Okay, stopping now.
post #147 of 165
Yeah, pretty much. What's interesting, is that she herself was a homebirth, and so was her younger sister. I just really hope this will be enough to convince her. I don't want to see her in a ton of pain, or have something awful happen that could have been avoided.
post #148 of 165
Hedy I still have dreams about one of my doula client's cesareans. It was my first client to have one (and so far the only one thank God) and the first I had witnessed personally since my own. It was HARD!! This was a very naturally minded mama and it broke my heart to see her get steamrolled while she was in labor by her doctor. The feelings we have around birth are so strong and run so deep that if you do not think you can handle it I would tell her so. Explain it to her just like you did us and hopefully she will understand. Side note: above mama still contacts me and send pics regularly and last year she had a wonderful vbac!!
post #149 of 165
Rare I know but I had another client choose an induction at 38 wks. Dr broke her water at 9am, started pit at noon, and she had her baby by 5. Dr's dream birth. She was 0 cm and only about 50% effaced so it can happen.
post #150 of 165
Yeah, I called her this morning and told her that I was having anxiety, and didn't want to stress her out, because that would be the LAST thing she'd need while trying to focus on labour. She took it well, and now I just hope and pray it turns out OK. Todd and I both tried... hard. I will be giving her a newborn session once she's home though.
post #151 of 165
Any news after she called the insurance company?
post #152 of 165
Yeah, she said it was all straightened out and the entire stay would count as '09. And... once again there was no talking her out of anything. I know if I were there, I would not be able to keep my mouth shut, or I would have anxiety issues, etc., etc., etc... I wouldn't not be able to advocate for her, and that's hard since she is choosing everything I would advocate against, just to get the baby out. No idea what to think, because again, she never struck me as the type of person who would do all of this. But we have all tried to talk her out of it, and she is still dead set on it.

Hearing the details about what is about to happen sure brought back a ton of trauma for me. I processed for a long time this morning with my mom, and we kind of decided together that I should bow out. She also thought it would be best for me to just have Todd call her and let her know I wouldn't be there, so I wouldn't get emotional when I was on the phone with her, which could also be upsetting. I got through the call OK, then broke down and cried for a while longer... then met up with a friend, and processed a bunch more.

I thought I was over that, but I'm starting to think you are never over it.
post #153 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedy B. View Post
Yeah, she said it was all straightened out and the entire stay would count as '09. And... once again there was no talking her out of anything. I know if I were there, I would not be able to keep my mouth shut, or I would have anxiety issues, etc., etc., etc... I wouldn't not be able to advocate for her, and that's hard since she is choosing everything I would advocate against, just to get the baby out. No idea what to think, because again, she never struck me as the type of person who would do all of this. But we have all tried to talk her out of it, and she is still dead set on it.

Hearing the details about what is about to happen sure brought back a ton of trauma for me. I processed for a long time this morning with my mom, and we kind of decided together that I should bow out. She also thought it would be best for me to just have Todd call her and let her know I wouldn't be there, so I wouldn't get emotional when I was on the phone with her, which could also be upsetting. I got through the call OK, then broke down and cried for a while longer... then met up with a friend, and processed a bunch more.

I thought I was over that, but I'm starting to think you are never over it.
HUGS. I'll pray that she avoids the knife then, because it sounds like that's all we can do at this point.

I too thought I was over things, but after visiting the hospital again the week (FIL) I don't know that I will ever be over it either. I just get sick stepping foot into a hospital now. HUGS & prayers to you too, I know how hard this must be for you & know that us ICAN girls are here for you if you need to chat!
post #154 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedy B. View Post

I thought I was over that, but I'm starting to think you are never over it.
Its been 9 years since my c/s. It was not overly tramatic (as in I just thought this was the way it should be, later as I learned it was very upsetting) and I didn't even think anything of it until I was pg with Michael and was told I would be "allowed" to try a VBAC. I too don't think this is something you "get over" We will remember the births of our children for our entire lives. How respected or un-respected we felt, was it peaceful, was it crazy, all the little details can pop up at any time. I am really surprised sometimes when the littlest thing brings something up that I hadn't conciously thought about in a long time, if ever. Hedy I am praying today for a smooth birth and also calming thoughts for you as I know this is not far from your mind today.
post #155 of 165
Well, the outcome that I was hoping wouldn't happen is happening.
post #156 of 165
That sucks, I am so sorry!
post #157 of 165
Yeah, not sure what to think. They think it was true CPD, because she pushed for 2 hours. I wonder if it was a lip, but have no way to get a straight answer there, since no one I'm talking to knows what that is, or is willing to look into it. Ugh. So... in 4 minutes she goes under the knife.
post #158 of 165
I'm sorry Hedy. Sending healing vibes to the mama and welcome to the world baby Violet!!
post #159 of 165
Forgive me, but what is a true CPD? I am sad for the mama and baby. But mostly sad that they and those surrounding them also think that it's just the way things need to be. And that they more than likely will never know, even if given the chance.

On a lighter note, I am happy that there is a new baby in the world, and a mother and father were born, too.
post #160 of 165
CPD is Cephalopelvic Disproportion. It occurs when the baby's head is too large to pass through the pelvic bones. The head was well-moulded. I think if I were to take a look at the head, I might be able to tell what really happened. Sounds to me like she was either posterior, or got hung up on the pubic bone. I forgot to ask if she was having back pain.

I'm wondering now how common posterior, or at least malpositioned babies are with inductions -- especially in inductions where the bag of waters is manually broken, thus forcing the head against the edge of the cervix prematurely, perhaps impeding the normal rotation the baby makes at birth? Hm... time to check some stats. I want her sister (who is also pregnant, due this spring,) to succeed, and I also would like to help her if she has another and wants a successful VBAC.
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