Book Rec Needed - Gentle Discipline for Teens?

[Ann-Marita]

Does anyone have a book to recommend about gentle discipline when the child is a teen?

Most of the books I've seen end at age 10 or younger.

Thanks.

[tm2840]

[MariaMadly]

The ones that seemed most helpful to us weren't written specifically for teens . . . I read them when our DCs (20 and almost 17) were younger but still remember them. They're about more frame of mind than specific strategies, but here goes:

Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting (DH is reading it now, says it's still relevant)

Eda LeShan's When Your Child Drives You Crazy

Grace Llewellyn's Teenage Liberation Handbook

Another angle to search from might be situational: like managing particular circumstances. For example, our support with DC1's college search was not the conventional search for schools DC "should" apply to, but something more responsive. We had to dig hard for material that supported the student rather than complying with default expectations. I suspect any topic would be like that: sibling relationships, academic life, chores, community issues, drug use, neurological development . . .

Useful background might be work on the subject of adolescent brain development. I've heard Michael Nerney's work is highly regarded. Also, when my DCs were infant / toddler, I heard a more experienced mom joke that I should just keep the "Your X-Year Old" series, add ten years, and take them out again.

Enjoy the age. They are so great.

[MariaMadly]

Originally Posted by tm2840

Actually, I'm sticking around to watch too . . . always looking for more help!

[Polliwog]

How about "How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk."

[madskye]

I bought this book, 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, for my four year old, but it was really more focused on teens. In my opinion, it's pretty GD--the authors big focus is on stopping the yelling and fighting in your home and focusing on building connection. It really helped me.

Here's the amazon link:

http://www.amazon.com/Days-Less-Defi.../dp/1569243018

A few of the things that I liked about the book was that he offered strategies for taking care of myself, so my reactions are less charged. He also goes into detail about what it means to be calm and authoritative--people always tell you to be that way, but he actually goes into some detail as to how projecting calm and authority should actually look during a tantrum or argument.

[tubulidentata2]

Hold Onto Your Kids http://www.amazon.com/Hold-Your-Kids...9929389&sr=8-1

Amazing book. It is required reading to become an Attachment Parenting International leader, even though there are tons of great discipline books and they give choices for most of the reading requirements.

I haven't read the How To Talk for teens book, but the others are so good that I would think the teen one would be great, too! I would definitely read both.

[sebandg'smama]

Originally Posted by tubulidentata2

Hold Onto Your Kids http://www.amazon.com/Hold-Your-Kids...9929389&sr=8-1

Amazing book. It is required reading to become an Attachment Parenting International leader, even though there are tons of great discipline books and they give choices for most of the reading requirements.

I haven't read the How To Talk for teens book, but the others are so good that I would think the teen one would be great, too! I would definitely read both.

[MissRubyandKen]

I liked the book Kids are Worth It! Giving Your Kids the Gift of Inner Discipline by Barbara Coloroso. As a matter of fact I'm going to request this from the library and reread it.

[mamaduck]

Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, by Anthony E. Wolf

Though -- I will say that a lot of parenting literature indicates that parenting a teen depends heavily on the foundation that you layed out during the younger years.