A 4 month should.... - Page 2

[InMediasRes]

I don't know about this "doctors don't give parenting advice thing". I thought a pediatrician was for the whole health of the child. If you were doing something psychologically damaging for the child, wouldn't you want your ped to give you "parenting" advice then?

I'm just sayin'...that they should have a concern for the health of the whole person, and although we believe them to be misguided when they give this advice, I assume they are giving it because they believe "independence" to be something incredibly important for a person's health. You don't have to agree with them.

Our experience with our ped was similar. I think she thought I would want to hear how to get the baby out of my bed and sleeping through, so she threw out the "if you don't do it now, it'll be much harder" thing. I just said "We are a co-sleeping family." So she just asked about safety instead.

And DS still doesn't sleep through the night...2.75yo. But his issues are sensory, so I'm really glad that I didn't leave him to cry or force him to sleep alone. I listened to my instincts with him, and I was right - being a baby was very scary for him. He needed me close.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by sunshynbaby

That is such BS! Last time I checked, pediatricians were doctors, not parenting experts.

I agree. I remember with my first child (15 years ago) the pediatrician telling me not to co-sleep and how that will affect my child in a negative way. I wondered at that time why he was telling me how I should "sleep" with my child. Doctors are for medical issues, not personal ones, and sleeping is a personal issue that is handled on an individual basis depending on child and parents. I co-slept with my first two for quite a few years before putting them in their own beds and I plan to do the same with my 2 month old baby.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by InMediasRes

I don't know about this "doctors don't give parenting advice thing". I thought a pediatrician was for the whole health of the child. If you were doing something psychologically damaging for the child, wouldn't you want your ped to give you "parenting" advice then?

but co-sleeping isn't something that could be psychologically damaging to the child. I would think the only time it would be damaging is if the parents aren't on board and dislike the idea of co-sleeping and are only struggling through it with the child. That sort of situation might have a negative outcome.

[mamazee]

Originally Posted by InMediasRes

I don't know about this "doctors don't give parenting advice thing". I thought a pediatrician was for the whole health of the child. If you were doing something psychologically damaging for the child, wouldn't you want your ped to give you "parenting" advice then?

They don't generally take parenting or child development classes, though. They're medical doctors, not parenting experts. Any advice they give is usually based on their own experiences as a parent, or from things they've heard people talk about or read.

They are also mandatory reports, so if someone was damaging their kids they'd have to report it. Which is a different issue.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by darcytrue

but co-sleeping isn't something that could be psychologically damaging to the child.

Exactly. Since he's a medical expert, not a psychological/parenting expert, I think that his comments on psychological/parenting issues should be limited to where there is sufficient evidence (studies). Not just his random-ass opinion, based on god knows what.

[InMediasRes]

Don't get me wrong, I agree with you! I'm just curious about this attitude. I would want a ped to tell someone who spanked that it was damaging, but as far as our laws go in the US, it is still a "parenting choice".

I guess what I think doctors should be is in conflict with what they actually are in this case. I was lucky with my ped in CA in that I felt like I could ask for parenting advice because she and I were on the same page. Someday health care will actually meet people's needs.

[InMediasRes]

Originally Posted by mamazee

They don't generally take parenting or child development classes, though. They're medical doctors, not parenting experts. Any advice they give is usually based on their own experiences as a parent, or from things they've heard people talk about or read.

They are also mandatory reports, so if someone was damaging their kids they'd have to report it. Which is a different issue.

My friend is in med school, and he does take psychology and child development... although he doesn't seem to retain much of it.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by InMediasRes

Don't get me wrong, I agree with you! I'm just curious about this attitude. I would want a ped to tell someone who spanked that it was damaging, but as far as our laws go in the US, it is still a "parenting choice".

The difference, I think, is that there have been studies done showing the harm in hitting your children. The ped would have evidence backing up his professional opinion. But without that evidence on an issue, the opinion isn't technically professional.

[red and lulu]

My midwife said once that the problem with peds is that they too are doctors and as such are trained to think rationally, in very organized terms of cause and effect. Because of this they treat babies as though they are rational, but they're not-- they are instinct driven. I thought that was a good point.

I'm lucky that my dd's doc (a family practitioner, not a ped) has been nothing but supportive of my parenting choices. DD sleeps in bed with me and was nursing every 2-3 hrs at night, until a couple days ago and now it's every 45 min. to an hour (thank you 4 mo sleep regression!) which her doc says is totally normal.

[Kelly1101]

My Ped just doesn't talk about parenting choices like co-sleeping. He just looks her over, checks her growth, asks me some questions about development, and then says "she looks healthy and happy, keep doing what you're doing."

The closest he came to comment was at her 6 month check-up, he said "So what's she eating?" For a minute I didn't even know how to respond (like, is this a trick question?) and I said, "Milk?" He laughed and said, "Still just breastmilk?" I said, "Yeah." He says, "Well, she's gaining weight great. You can start her on solids if she wants to and you want to. No honey."