Do "things change" as your LO grows up? UPDATE Post 7: still bad.

[justKate]

My DD is almost 10 months old, and I'm starting to feel like our nursing relationship is changing. I don't mean to be melodramatic, but things are different--

I don't enjoy it as much anymore--she got her first six teeth all in the last 6 weeks, and even though her latch is good I can feel them and it doesn't feel good, especially at night.

She seems angry at the breast more when my letdown is too slow/too fast/too heavy, etc., and lets me know by pinching/hitting/kicking/pulling. She's always beat me up while nursing but it's getting to the point where she cuts and bruises me.

No possibility that I'm pg, and no supply changes (I pump the same amount at work each day that I have for months).

What's going on with us? I don't want to project my emotions on to her but it feels like she's giving up on us! Is there anything I can do to improve our nursing time?

Right now we nurse as soon as I pick her up in the early evening, on demand all evening and night (we co-sleep), and then a dream feed before I get her up in the morning.

[3girls1boy]

Sometimes when a baby is getting close to new developmental milestone, things get a little more difficult. Is she getting close to crawling or walking? Usually things will smooth out again when she gets past whatever stage it is.

[lifeguard]

Whenever ds teeths (he's been very slow to get teeth - only has 3.5 right now) his latch definitely suffers some & I become VERY aware of those teeth but then it gets better again.

He's also not as nice to bf during the day when he's wide awake & distracted always moving around, pushing his feet into my legs, scratching & pinching me. But when he's calm it's as nice as ever.

[Mama2Rio]

welcome to the start of toddlerhood.... she's figuring out her body more, how she can wiggle and do all kinds of acrobats while nursing. when she figures out she can nurse in any position she will start to mellow out. i agree with pp, there's distractions of the world, there's develpment, and there's a need to explore new ways to do things.

[spughy]

Without a doubt, 10-14 mo is the hardest time for nursing (except possibly the early newborn time). Too young to really understand when they hurt you, too excited to nurse passively, too active to nurse comfortably! But yes, it DOES get better. There is nothing better than nursing a considerate, verbal toddler - nothing better than being able to soothe the bumps and bruises of learning to walk, run and jump with a nurse and a cuddle - nothing better than hearing "mummy, I love your boobies" mumbled before a little one drifts happily off to sleep. You get used to feeling the teeth, too. Honest.

[justKate]

Originally Posted by 3girls1boy

Sometimes when a baby is getting close to new developmental milestone, things get a little more difficult. Is she getting close to crawling or walking? Usually things will smooth out again when she gets past whatever stage it is.

She is getting close to walking, I think--she stood without holding on just yesterday. I know it's worth sticking it out, and I want her to know I'm not giving up on it, but it's so d*%n hard sometimes!

Thanks for the encouragement.

[justKate]

Things are going down hill...

So any advice on teaching "gentle" nursing? Because I almost can't stand it anymore. I need to teach her to be gentle because it's the only way we're going to make it past her first birthday.

The major problems are: screaming if it takes me 2 seconds to get the breast out for her; refusing to eat unless she's really tired; refusing to eat unless side lying in bed; kicking me repeatedly in the abdomen and then screaming if i move her legs or try to hold them away from me; finding the little stretch marks on the inside of my breasts and digging her fingernails in to them, over and over and over, even though I've tried everything imaginable to occupy her hands; sticking her fingers in her mouth while trying to nurse; smacking/scratching my face while nursing; insisting on a shallow latch even though I know she's capable of a good latch; popping off and screaming if I try to hold her more comfortably; popping off and on and off and then screaming when I put the breast away; and best of all, sucking my nipple in to her mouth through her teeth like a straw, even though she is quite capable of doing otherwise.

PLEASE HELP. Every time she nurses I want to throw her out the window, she makes me so uncomfortable and upset. The only good nurses we have are when she's asleep at night.

help.

[boobs4milk]

s i'm feeling the same way with my almost 3 month old, but we've had issues the whole time.

with my now 4 yr old, she was getting violent with me and i would just pull her off and let her snuggle. i don't think 10 mos is too young to tell your dd the boundaries and to NOT nurse her if you are uncomfortable or she's not being gentle. it helps if you say "be gentle to mommy" and have a smile on your face (SO DAMN HARD when they are being impossible!) and stroke her gently. "see, this is gentle" sort of demonstration. good luck!

[Shanny2032]

My dd started walking at 9 months so I think we hit this rough patch early. Throw in a three month long bout of on again off again thrush and the last few months were rough. She just turned one and likes to dig in (not bite really) with her top teeth. I make her get off and tell her she needs to be big and I open my mouth really big and say ahhh. It takes time and practice for her to understand but she gets it now and if she is on too tight I tell her and we start over. When she tries to stick her hands in my mouth, which drives me insane, I put my head back like I am resting and she cant reach. All of these things take serious time and repetition for them to get but try and use key phrases that you say over and over. If you are laying down to nurse and she tries to kick you try moving your body instead of hers. Thwart her efforts at every turn . Does she have any words or do you do sign language with her? I highly recommend it. Using the sign for wait while she waits for you to get your boob out and signs for hurt, gentle, milk etc can all help her to express herself before she can tell you things.

[ssh]

I always said "owie" and then " I can't give you milk if you hurt me" and I'd stop nursing for a moment of two if my DD bit or latched on in a way that pinched. I told her if she hurt my nipples I couldn't give her milk at all, if she wanted milk she had to be gentle. It mainly just happened with her eye teeth and molars, so my DD was about 13 months and then over 2. With the kicking, scratching and rough behavior, I'd just stop everytime your DD did it, then give her one more chance before stopping for that session. If your DD is nursing nicely when she's asleep that means she can.
When my DD was that age she liked wrestling with a babyquilt while nursing. She wrap her legs around it and pull on the lace in the opposite direction. I've heard nursing necklaces or good. That you said she always beat you up when nursing is just terrible. I never really tolerated anything uncomfortable and would just gently change what was going on, like putting part of the baby quilt in my DDs hands if she was trying to touch the other nipple.