A Hypothetical Q - being away from toddler during the day

[Amber Lion]

I have a very good chance of being accepted into a nursing program for next fall. My intention is to CLW and was hoping to get some insight into how being away from my would-be 2 year old pretty much 8-5, M-F, would affect our nursing relationship. I've been a SAHM, but in class 2 nights a week so far and therefore around pretty much whenever she wants to nurse. She nurses many times throughout the day and every time she falls asleep (even though I'm gone at night she stays up till I'm home and can nurse). I'm assuming our nursing relationship will go through some serious changes on it's own between now and then, but based on her love of the boobie and pretty much all around disdain of solid food I have a feeling she'll still be nursing quite a bit. I'm really hoping the answer won't be she'll pick up night feedings, b/c their frequency is killing me slowly now as it is.

Any BTDT or insight is appreciated!

[prothyraia]

I don't have anything to add, but I will (hopefully!) be in the same situation this fall with my two and three year olds.

I do anticipate some interesting confusion regarding what exactly mom is learning at "nursing" school.

[3girls1boy]

This is the age when toddlers often start eating more food and dropping more nursings. I would think chances are good that by the time you are gone from her all day, that she may be okay with nursing two or three times a day (perhaps at waking, when you get home, and bed). Two and older is also a time when you can start to discuss when you want to nurse and when you don't. (I had a nightlight on a timer that was set to go off around 5 am and my little ones knew that until the light went on, my breasts still were sleeping--worked most of the time.)

[Amber Lion]

Thanks for the reply!

I guess it's hard to imagine only nursing 3 times a day from where we are now, but I can see how that would work with school!

My fear is that by not being around for her to nurse whenever we'd be on the road to an earlier weaning since she would need to find other ways to fulfill her hunger/comfort needs.

[purple indigo]

I have a 2 year old that LOVES nursing, and I'm now home all the time. He now nurses:

In the morning, waking up,

To nap and wake up from a nap,

SOMETIMES in the middle of the night, if he can't reach out and touch one of us,

and

If he's needing help w/ teething, tantruming, etc.

----

If I miss a nursing or am away? No big deal. He does fine; he just skips that one/two/etc. No making it up, or anything. Even going to bed, now.

I predict that you'll continue nursing as you are on weekends. I don't think your baby will night nurse more- not at this age!

[Eman'smom]

I returned to work when dd1 was 12 weeks old, I was gone from 6:30-5 4 days a week, she nursed past her 4th birthday.

[redvlagrl]

I returned to work part time when DD was 13 mths old. Prior to that she was nursing about 6 or 7 times a day. In the weeks leading up to my return to work I tried some 'distracting' techniques to reduce the number of times she nursed, simply to prove to myself that she wouldn't die without me there.

On the days that I am working she generally nurses 3 times or so - on waking, in the afternoon and at bedtime. When I am home with her all day she can have it any time she wants it, but generally she doesn't request it more than 3 or 4 times in the day.

Last week, though, she had pneumonia (still recovering) and wasn't eating any solids so I was offering her the breast even if she wasn't asking for it.

[Ellien C]

I think this varies a lot with the kid. I worked FT starting when my DD was 3 months old, including going away for business travel for a few nights at a time. At 4.5 years old she had no interest in weaning on her own. But, you're experience may be different.

[columbusmomma]

When I work and am away from DD(2.5)she has doesn't nurse from when she wakes up(around 7)until I pick her up(around 4pm). When I don't work, she nurses frequently! I think your LO will adapt to the new schedule based on her needs, and nurse according to them!

[~pi]

Originally Posted by Amber Lion

My fear is that by not being around for her to nurse whenever we'd be on the road to an earlier weaning since she would need to find other ways to fulfill her hunger/comfort needs.

This is far from a scientific sample, but all of the WOHMs I know who are doing or did CLW seemed to have children who weaned at older ages (i.e., 4 or 5 vs. 2 or 3.) I personally have been WOH since DS was a year and doing semi-regular overnights since he was 2. He's now 3.5 and still nursing. It's a nice way to reconnect after we've been apart.

Also, at age 2, IMHO, it isn't such a bad thing for a child to find additional ways to fulfil her or his hunger and comfort needs.

Good luck with the acceptance!